What’s It Gonna Be?

I wrote this last week, and shared it on my LINKEDIN real estate. That being said, this still speaks to my real estate. I hope that it speaks to you.

Lying there today, in the CT Scan, I had an epiphany. Indeed it was an epiphany revisited. It’s first visit was my initial CT Scan on August 20, 2015. At that time, I had made a point of going to Emergency to check out what I thought were the signs of the onset of Vertigo. They were not.

At the time that day, a CT Scan was ordered and as I lay there in that process, my mind went to the question, “What if I only have 3 months?” You see, I did not know what was going on, and all cards were on the table. What if, indeed?

The news from that Scan was a brain bleed or TIA or mini stroke and 5 days in the hospital under observation. My blood pressure was normal and blood work was good. It was indeed a mystery. From there, came months of not knowing… with 2 MRIs and a lot of consultation with specialists and medical professionals. We could not figure on cause or even prognosis.

It has been a challenging time for someone who has prided myself on being independent and fully capable of “being there” for any and all around me. These days, I have had to construct a new pace of grace. I have remained active with doing our 5 minute videos once a week… and blogging daily. But “active” is relative. These days, it is minimal and I have learned to rely on my team and friends in ways that I have never done before. It has been hard and humbling; both good for me. It builds character.

The process has been humbling and challenging. I miss teaching in the classroom and look forward to returning to that world May 1, 2016. I miss being the active thunderstorm of energy and zeal. It still is there but it needs to take a back seat and assume a more strategic pace of grace. Rest is a priority. Strategic use of energies is a necessity.

Now engaging aspects of physio, nutrition and counseling amidst the tests, I have had time to think and reflect. Still, as I returned from the CT Scan this day, the bus ahead of me had an ad that claimed in bold lettering, “Take Back Your Life“. Now, there was a sign. But, more importantly, it brought my thoughts back to 30 minutes earlier. There I was, again in a CT Scan, with IV and dye coursing through me. There I lay, still. There I lay with only my thoughts. And that thought returned.

Only this time, it was a small boy… a cartoon from my youth. It was powerful and resonant in the best of ways. I know that I probably have more than 90 days and, God willing, much more. Still, what if? The answers that proceeded forth were reminiscent of the last time, but deeper. More clear. Much more clear. Back then, the answer was “Then I will do everything I can to serve joyfully in my time remaining.” That was my answer then.

This time, I saw ideas. I saw the cartoons that I always promised myself to do, and the songs and performances for which I have dreamed and prayed. I saw classrooms with a renewed zeal and creativity and engagement. I saw teaching online, and blogging passionately. I saw the millions of youth with whom I want to connect and serve. They are the present building the future. I want to be the 800 pound gorilla that marches with them to build the kind of world we all need. I saw the communities and campuses and conscious companies with whom I both work and intend to work in building a better world. I saw the work around nobility and character as an extension of youthful dreams and passions. I saw the thunderstorm, again. But it was a new thunder; one that understands that between the storms are periods of calm. Then, I saw this prayer. I saw this prayer that I have always loved, dedicated to my sister… with its reference to movement and stillness.

Yeah, in that moment, lying there today… I was still. My mind was calm but it was flooding, with a beautiful and natural flow. It felt right.

It confirmed my desire to document these next 90 days on my road back to health… and I am now calling it thunder road. On that journey, I will be a student… and I will be interviewing various people and perspectives; around health… real and lasting health… sustaining and sustainable health. I will be interviewing local wellness professionals and service providers; and maybe some not-so-local too. I will be exploring. And I will be joining the wonderful Stephanie Staples on her radio show at CJOB out of Winnipeg, with regular check ins on my progress over these next few months.

On this path, I will engage the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project™ too because I wholeheartedly believe in their universal application. I will consider those virtues that I most need to practice and strengthen and draw upon. I will view my teachable moments from the Character Lens. I will set my boundaries and honor my spirit, with character in mind. And, I will be present with myself and others along the way.

I intend a journey of 90 days. That being said, I intend the rest of my life to be journeys of 90 days. I intend to have that proverbial fire in the belly fueled by the question “What if I only have 90 days?”

It is not morbid. It is motivating. It stands in the face of the presumption that I have time. It feels no entitlement. It accepts a powerful humility.

It is not about mortality, but my understanding of immortality. My spirit will always be. That is my faith. So will yours. That is my faith.

That all being said, I invite you to join me… 90 days at a time. These 90 days will focus on finding renewed strength, based on the application of character and behaviour and with the clear intention of finding both balance and power to serve the way I was intended. Join me on this journey if you care and dare.

I will still be blogging on myriad topics relating to character and its application to youth, education, leadership and more. Indeed, our renewed sense of purpose as documented on our site…

We fiercely and unapologetically believe in the nobility of the human race and help build strong and inspired cultures at school, work, family and community… where everyone counts and contributes.

… it speaks to our collective need to do so… as a team. We will still speak to and work for this. But, this day, under that CT Scan… that little guy said a lot….

He spoke to me that all that I believe must needs be focused on a full return to optimal health in order to live the life of service that I most deeply crave. The work awaits a new found balance.

Whether you join me on this aspect of the blogging journey or not (we will be blogging on other topics), I do indeed wish you the best 90 days of your life, over and over again.

While driving behind that bus this afternoon, this song by Shinedown was playing… in some ways, kind of appropriate. 🙂

at Epic Engage Global…. and on You Tube.

barry(at)epicengage.com

709-682-5610