In our last post, we looked at Using Fear. So, to date, we have taken on this topic in:
It has been an interesting journey thus far, and we recommend you go back and read the posts. Now, this week, our second last on the topic (for now anyway)…
So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was!
Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?” Here is a cool version of that message.
Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.
I will have some closing thoughts next week.
I can relate to what Jenny is saying. Over the years, I have had moments where I thought that the door had closed in so many ways, only to find a new opening. My transitions have been stepping stones though they might not have felt such at the time; which brings me to my point this week.
Throughout my life and career, I have been reminded of the importance of a track record. If you are still here in this world and life, you have made it through so many things. Most of the time, we focus on what we went through and not the fact that we got through. The latter is more important than the former. Understanding that we got through is a teacher; of character and confidence. It becomes so when we take real stock of what it took to get through. These times become teachers when we consciously alert ourselves to the strengths and capacities they took to get through.
In my years in leadership training and development, I have seen this countless times. As we go through a challenge and come out the other end, we know that it took Courage and the result is added Confidence. Practice does not make perfect. It makes confident; in the healthiest of ways.
As I look upon my life thus far from childhood and youth, through a career in business and education, I see those moments that tested my Courage. A test is not intended to cause failure but to provide an opportunity to pass. The more tests we pass, the greater our true Confidence. It does not happen without challenge. From the morbidly shy kid to the guy who would passionately look forward to speaking with 20,000 people, I see the value of my fear and Courage over the years. As a guy who has intention to move focus to an ever increasing global body of work and service, there will be more challenges. I know that. Knowing that does not make it easier. It is not supposed to be. But, knowing from whence I came, I know my capacity to grow… and I ain’t done!
Look at your life and the defining moments. Track your timeline of trial to triumph. If you want a copy of the timeline worksheet, contact me via LinkedIn. See your tests as opportunities to pass. Learn from them. I have some biggies coming and will share in my next and last post next week. It’s about to get heavy … and cool.
So, yes… fear continues to be our journey for October. Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work. Best friends do that.
As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.
Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.
Join us, stay tuned and engage us. Our lives matter.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.