The First Empathy
Let me tell you a little bit about my boy. He is so kind and loving. He has always been the most soft-hearted empathetic little boy. He loves hard, much like his Mama. He feels others pain and shows caring gestures in moments of people’s sadness or hurt. I am so unbelievably proud of the little man that he is growing into. So, when I see him behave in this way, I question what it is that caused his reaction. My heart hurts for people in these moments of confusion and uncertainty.
So, I decided to sit with him and practice what I recently studied in my program. I tried to get his perspective of what had happened. In exploring today’s events with him, I discovered that there is this one little boy in his class that has been bullying him on a regular basis. This has been causing my son to have somatic issues. He has been anxious in the mornings before school, at times calls home after throwing up and uses pretty much any excuse in the book to leave. This is heart-breaking as a parent. Heart-breaking in general to be truthful. It isn’t only sad that my child is hurting, it is also sad that we really don’t know what the child doing the hurting is going through. In the program that I am in, it makes us look at things in a different light. I realize that my son deserves to be comfortable in class. He should never feel unsafe or scared. Sadly, that is not the world we live in. We live in a world where people aren’t always given the skills needed to be kind to one another without judgement or anger. So, as his mother I need to prepare him for the unknown. Prepare him to love the ones that don’t have it programmed in them to be empathetic and loving. You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.
… and that is where my thoughts are processing. I will have more to come in the next broadCAST.
“You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.” No truer words, Jenny; and kind of where my head and heart are now. In my first post on Empathy, I suggested that “Empathy is practiced when we are increasingly able to put ourselves in the shoes of another. It is diminished through apathy and distance. It is increased by caring and closeness. Dehumanization is one of the forces and sources advancing meanness and cruelty. The humanization of the world advances us in Empathy.”
I think the place to start is within. Empathy can constructively impact our Endurance. As I have noted before, “As leaders, educators, entrepreneurs and anyone… as we remember the feelings of our own moments of seeming vanquish and victory alike, we grow our practice of Empathy for ourselves and others. From that, we are stronger, more resilient and understanding.”
For me, as I put myself in the shoes of my former selves through life, and re-feel what trials and triumphs I have experienced (knowing I am still here and thriving), I gain a better sense of my strength and capacity. Track records matter, and feeling what it took to get through in the past can strengthen us for the future.
… and that is where my head and heart are today, on Empathy. More to come in the broadCAST indeed.
So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work. Friends do that. Together, and through November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us. Join us, stay tuned and engage us. Our lives matter.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
- broadCAST October 2019
- Leaducator October 2019
- Deliver October 2019
- AukWords October 2019
- broadCAST mini-library
Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.