Empathy and Detachment
I encourage you to read our first two blogs. Now, carrying on from my last post…
My thoughts on all of this has been kind of snowballing into this thought of core. The knowing that there are behaviors attached to feelings. My heart really goes out to the kids that are feeling that it is normal or okay to treat others this way. As I said the behavior is connected to the feeling. To me that says that these children or adults for that matter are either hurting or sad. They are feeling an underlying emotion that is creating this anger or volatile expression that they so freely dish out to whoever crosses their path. It isn’t connected by anger towards this person necessarily, but they still express it anyhow.
For empaths, we take things a little more personally. Much like my son did. He got angry that this little boy was being mean to him and calling him nasty names, so my son aggressively acted out. Rather than taking a moment to feel and control the reaction that we so quickly have, we act quick. As adults we do much the same. We are reactive human beings. Far and few in between are proactive. We need to be more conscious of what we say and do. We need to be more conscious of what we are teaching our children and our youth. We need to make the world a better place somehow. I feel that it starts with what we teach our youth. We see it more and more as we get older. The generational gap, and differences. We see the lack of respect, and structure. I am not saying that this applies to all of us, but we have the ability to make a difference, to make a change. The youth being the foundation to this change in our society. We are getting much better at speaking aloud about this epidemic. How can we start making this difference? How can we live what we teach? Stay tuned…
Feeding off of Jenny’s thoughts, I first offer this on Emotional Intelligence (EI). Empathy is a virtue; and one that can be practiced. It is my experience and observation that EI can help those who more need practice with Empathy, and those who more need practice with Detachment as their Empathy is advanced. Detachment is a counter balancing virtue to Empathy. Both can be practiced, not unlike two wings of one great bird in flight.
Empathy is a powerful virtue of leadership. So is Detachment. Empathy is a powerful virtue of strength. So is Detachment. The power is found in the balance. I just posted on Endure and Respond. A week or so ago, I posted on Empathy, Endurance and Excellence. And recently, I have posted on Human Tech. All of this is to say that we can work on our human tech; our character. We do it through practice. In this case, practicing the balance of Empathy and Detachment seems like a great place to start. That is, in part, the beauty of EI. It engages:
- Self Awareness
- Social Awareness
- Relationship Management
Enter Empathy and Detachment, in healthy balance. More to follow…
So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work. Friends do that. Together, and through November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us. Join us, stay tuned and engage us. Our lives matter.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
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Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.