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grief

Take Possession

Please watch this video, hear the words and feel the feels. Then come back here for a few minutes. Please.

11 weeks in and I still (and will always) miss my #bestlittledogintheworld Panda. That will not go away, and I am owning it. Freakin’ miss ya girl.

In Stop. It Matters. … last week… I shared on the importance of stopping, and noted that ” I have made some significant decisions over the last few days, arising out of Pandemic, the passing of Panda, and more.” Since then, I have shared on LinkedIn on being open and some resources for rest… and a new renaissance. All of this is said with the realization that I am in the last days of this current Term at College, grading papers and exams … and understanding that, soon, I will be taking some dedicated time to rest and heal. That said, and feeling the great need for such, I also posted this last night on Facebook…

Please, please, please for God’s sake… so much “mantra” out there that is toxic positivity. Being spiritual does not imply you do not feel emotions and that you will never suffer. Optimism knows that we will get there… and getting there will involve challenge and work. Challenge implies that there is challenge. Toxic positivity is not only BS but it is dangerous. It implies people should not feel sadness or pain nor anger. I do not publicly swear often but that is f#@king BS. When people feel justifiably sad… get comfortable with that instead of somehow telling them they need to find their “light”. How about if we understand that sometimes you actually need to walk in the darkness to eventually see the light. By the way, this post is NOT about me but I have come across at least three instances this week where I have seen others given this message. BS. I will take healthy Optimism any day. In my own darkest days, I am thankful for that Optimism knowing, always knowing, that I would “get there” and knowing it would be hard. I am also thankful for friends who get it. Toxic positivity is crap. Being a healthy positive … and practicing Optimism … knows life can be tough but we can and will make it, whatever that means. You can experience Joyfulness amidst pain. You can mourn loss and still be joyful and grateful for the time you had. But you still mourn. The toxic “always shiny happy” ain’t healthy and I do not believe. If you are out there struggling, know that struggling means you are not quitting. Know that your emotions are valid. Know that you need to feel them without them taking hold of your life. And for God’s sake, if you need to, talk to a professional who has the training. Ending my Rant…. but I cannot bear people being sold the pablum of toxic positivity. Maybe it should be less about “let’s talk” and more about “let’s listen”. And professionals matter. Joyfulness matters. So does Empathy… and Empathy is practiced by truly understanding that we do not fully understand anyone else’s story… but that we “get” and understand all emotions have value. Practice Optimism. You and all your valid emotions will get there. Love and Understanding… real and raw.

❤

… accompanied by this TED Talk from Susan David. Then, I stumbled upon this post from Andy Grammer. My point this Week and Wednesday?

Take Possession

We own our lives; whether we accept same or not. We own our emotions. They are ours and valid. But they do not own us; we own them. We own our joy and our pain; not as some proud badge of Honor but as our own River. It is our Acceptance of who we are most true and best that matters. We are not our joy nor pain, but they are ours. In understanding, we better grasp our own sense of the practice of Dominion.

As we learn to express same out into the world, we better grasp our practice of Candor

… and Daring.

We find our Soulfulness.

We better understand that the Virtues are our capacities to ever better own our lives… from Acceptance to Zeal… by their practice as we need them…. for ourselves and others.

For me, these coming days and weeks and months even… will be about taking full possession and owning it all. I consider myself a long time practitioner and student of Responsibility and Resilience… and they have served me well. Still, there is another R ‘n’ R that I need more deeply practice now… Respect and Reverence… for my own Soul. It is time to Honor my own spirit… to be responsible to it, at a deeper, cooler level. This means rest and honoring that which I have walked through and felt. It means taking physical, mental and emotional care of me. It means going into drydock to repair and build a stronger ship, a new Enterprise.

I guess (nay, I know) my point to you is “What form/s of rest right now would serve you most well?” Pay yourself some Respect and Reverence. You matter. Own all of you and live your Dance.

Love you Panda.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

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CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist.

Kindness Builds

In Good Grief, Barry Green, I offered up that “Grieving is good and necessary. Check out some thoughts from May and December 2020 from the Harvard Business Review too. There is much to munch on. For me, I am pondering Acceptance of all my feelings as they happen… and how I process and walk them. I am no expert, but I have my experience, education and observation. Just my two cents, right now.”

Little did I know writing that last week… that mere hours later my #bestlittledogintheworld Panda would take her flight. I have been in grieving while living mode these past 6 days and counting. And, countless people have expressed all kinds of acts of Kindness… through thoughts, wishes and prayers… through care packages, collages, pics and songs.

Kindness matters, in grief and in life. It is a strength of character weaving strands of the strongest steel into our lives and relationships. It matters at home, school, work, business and community. It matters with friend and stranger. It matters. I have seen its power as recipient this week, and going forward. As someone who has tried hard to practice same, I am seeing first hand it’s power. And it is a power, make no mistake about it.

Kindness is the mortar of brick and building that can bring us together.

Let us build.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist.

Good Grief, Barry Green

In GO! … I shared on Grace and Orderliness in my walk with Panda and her health. That path is getting rockier by the day, and this week I offer up to videos on grief and moving forward. I think them worth your time. I think they both, in their own ways, deal with Acceptance of where we are, when we are, how we are.

I am finding them both useful, as I navigate mine. I will just leave them here. And maybe consider the Virtues Reflection Card on Acceptance

Grieving is good and necessary. Check out some thoughts from May and December 2020 from the Harvard Business Review too. There is much to munch on. For me, I am pondering Acceptance of all my feelings as they happen… and how I process and walk them. I am no expert, but I have my experience, education and observation. Just my two cents, right now.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist.

To Be Considered Again

I have renamed my blog, “Barry’s Bewildered Blog” in part inspired by the Wisdom of Rumi, “Sell cleverness. Buy bewilderment.”

In part inspired by “be wilder”.

Y’see, I am no master. I do not believe in mastery. I believe in studentry as a life long journey. It is akin to the notion of perfect as a noun and verb. The former is a destination, unreachable. The latter is our best reality in striving for it. So, welcome to Barry’s Bewildered Blog.

🙂 In Your Invention? I wrote… “My invention is about to be unveiled July 1, Canada Day. The boy inside the man cannot wait.”

That is the first leg… the website now better reflects me and my work, our work, … R4/D2 in practice. One foot in.

That said, and as more than an aside, it is the Eve of Canada Day (aka Dominion Day). Well wishes to all! And to friends south of the border for July 4!!

May we all continue to build nations of justice and love for all.

My Dominion Day

But the personal “biggie” right now for me is August 1. For the Nation of Barry, it is BIG. As a Baha’i, I live by 2 calendars. The Baha’i Calendar (this is the year 177 BE) has 19 months of 19 days, plus a 5 day period of giving and hospitality in February. The point is that August 1 is the coincidence of both calendars. It is the 1st day of the eighth month in both. I have also always liked the number 8. Don’t ask we why. I just do. So, August 1 and Kamál 1 coincide as the 1st day of the eight month.

Oh, and August meansmarked by majestic dignity“.

Kamál means Perfection.

Diggin’ it. 🙂

And, July is the one month of the year that I have no teaching. It’s calendar is a free agent for me. While I have some 7 cool youth, entrepreneurship, community and character development events this July, I am intent on making this time a deeper beautiful dive.

I intend to practice Consideration.

I intend to process my own sense of grief in these times.

I intend to refresh and gladden.

I intend to revisit my own sense of leadership. I was sent this post on leadership qualities by Allan Borch and I will reflect on same. I will read and study stuff I love. I will pray. I will play. I might even share, lol.

It is time.

Realizing your life, schedule and priorities are different, how will you find some time to consider and reflect? We are half way through a wild 2020, and we have a new world unfolding. How can you take some time this month to ponder your path forward?

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

A “PD” Day?

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross suggested there were 5 stages of grief. We are experiencing them now. Some we might go through quickly, others less so. It is a personal experience. I think I am in the Bargaining piece now, figuring my way through. Last week, I shared on The Wall and the Eye. In it, I talked about the inner eye. I suggest the read. Today, on LinkedIN, I shared on Certainty in Uncertain Times. Again, I suggest the read, and reflect.

My point this day is this. I am in my 26th day of self imposed isolation and intent on a longer run yet. The introvert in me is cool with it all. The extrovert is trusting in the process and figuring out strategies. Ultimately, we are amidst much uncertainty and to get some sense of certainty, we need go inward. I need to, for sure. Try these on. I will.

A little PD for the day, for me… amidst teaching and working online. Discernment and Perceptiveness. I am in the midst of mine. How might they apply for you today?

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

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