Barry Lewis Green
and Epic Engage

The Character Leadership Company

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Barry Lewis Green
and Epic Engage

The Character Leadership Company

TM

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Barry Lewis Green
and Epic Engage

The Character Leadership Company

TM

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Monthly Archives: October 2019

Fear as Friend?

This week, we continue our exploration of fear.  Last week we posted on Introducing Fear.  This week, here … and in our upcoming broadCAST™ to be released Friday, October 11, ahead of Canadian Thanksgiving… we will continue that exploration. If you are wondering about The broadCAST™, check this out as we lead up to the October issue.  It is worth the time. Now, on to checking in on fear.

Jenny says…

First, I invite you to read our first foray into fear, and my opening thoughts.

Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?

It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.

In The broadCAST™ on Friday, I will share more on my thoughts  around what I consider to be the benefits of fear.

Barry says..

I love the notion of fear guiding us Jenny.  I offer up this story from Baha’u’llah.

  • There was once a lover who had sighed for long years in separation from his beloved, and wasted in the fire of remoteness. From the rule of love, his heart was empty of patience, and his body weary of his spirit; he reckoned life without her as a mockery, and time consumed him away. How many a day he found no rest in longing for her; how many a night the pain of her kept him from sleep; his body was worn to a sigh, his heart’s wound had turned him to a cry of sorrow. He had given a thousand lives for one taste of the cup of her presence, but it availed him not. The doctors knew no cure for him, and companions avoided his company; yea, physicians have no medicine for one sick of love, unless the favor of the beloved one deliver him. At last, the tree of his longing yielded the fruit of despair, and the fire of his hope fell to ashes. Then one night he could live no more, and he went out of his house and made for the marketplace. On a sudden, a watchman followed 14 after him. He broke into a run, with the watchman following; then other watchmen came together, and barred every passage to the weary one. And the wretched one cried from his heart, and ran here and there, and moaned to himself: “Surely this watchman is Izrá’íl, my angel of death, following so fast upon me; or he is a tyrant of men, seeking to harm me.” His feet carried him on, the one bleeding with the arrow of love, and his heart lamented. Then he came to a garden wall, and with untold pain he scaled it, for it proved very high; and forgetting his life, he threw himself down to the garden.  And there he beheld his beloved with a lamp in her hand, searching for a ring she had lost. When the heart-surrendered lover looked on his ravishing love, he drew a great breath and raised up his hands in prayer, crying: “O God! Give Thou glory to the watchman, and riches and long life. For the watchman was Gabriel, guiding this poor one; or he was Isráfíl, bringing life to this wretched one!”

Regardless of faith, this story speaks to the power that those things we consider fearsome might have for us.  Are they enemies or actually watchpersons guiding us back to our heart?  When we encounter fear, it occurs to me that the question is, “what does this fear teach me?”  Does it teach me that I truly do not want this in my life. and so I walk in new directions?  Does it teach me that the wall is only but an obstacle and my true desire is on the other side of that fear?  Since childhood, I have, at times, experienced such powerful nightmares whereupon and after I have increasingly and ever better asked myself these questions and the answers are constructive.  Sometimes the nightmare says, “Well, now you know what your soul does not want in life.”  That is a signpost for walking my life.  Other times it says, “How bad do you want this?”  That is a proverbial kick in the arse.

In our last post, I offered three thoughts from an episode of Star Trek: Voyager (check it out):

  • “I’ve learned to trust fear.”
  • “Fear is the most honest of emotions.”
  • “Fear only exists for one purpose… to be conquered.”

I think my post on Another da Vinci Code speaks to these in part.  I think the story above speaks to these.  Now, I will ponder… and, like Jenny, I will be back with more thought in The broadCAST™ later this week.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear is our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.  Having a better understanding of fear helps too.  Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

Introducing Fear

Last month, we shared on a series around love and self care.  This month, The Benny and Jarry Blog enters October exploring fear.  First, consider:

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”  ― John Lennon

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson

“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” ― J.K. Rowling

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ― Jim Morrison

JENNY says…

This whole month I will speak on and to fear … and how we allow it to consume and control us.

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.  It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.

When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey comes to mind.  He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it; well I have it linked above lol. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

In the upcoming broadCAST™ for October, I am going to share more on my own journey with fear.  I look forward to sharing my own thoughts on that journey and lessons learned and learning.  Hope you join me. <3

BARRY says…

I am looking forward to this journey with fear, Jenny.  I have long said and believed (but not always acted upon) the thought that fear is not the question; fear of what is.  Fear is a natural emotion of which we are all capable.  The question is not whether or not we are afraid, but of what we afraid.

I met an ex-Marine who fought in Vietnam.  I met him in 1988.  He shared a story of how we was behind Cambodian lines with his platoon.  Many were dead, many more injured and they were trying to get out of Cambodia through mine-laden rice paddies.  You see, the Americans were not supposed to be in Cambodia. Richard Nixon was apparently proclaiming that there were no troops in Cambodia.  So, there were no troops coming to help.  His platoon had to get themselves out.  They did.  It was harrowing.  I was all of 28 at the time and I remember asking him if he was scared.  He looked at me and smiled, saying essentially, “Of course we were.  Anyone who says they were not scared is either a fool or a liar.”  He then looked me in the eyes and basically said, “Barry, listen to me.  Remember this.  Courage first, confidence second.”

That message I have remembered.  He was saying that courage is in the face of fear; no fear, no courage… and courage is the source of confidence.  We need fear to prove something to ourselves.  We need fear to grow.

If you have time, take 5 minutes to watch Captain Janeway engage fear manifested in AI form.  In the video, there are three thoughts I love.

  • “I’ve learned to trust fear.”
  • “Fear is the most honest of emotions.”
  • “Fear only exists for one purpose… to be conquered.”

Fear has purpose.  And questioning what we fear has purpose.  In my next piece in The broadCAST™, I shall share some more thoughts on my own journey with fear, as friend.

TOGETHER

So, fear is our journey for October.  Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.  Having a better understanding of fear helps too.  Together, and into October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

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