gratitude
The First Empathy
Last week, we started in on an exploration of Empathy. This week, we continue. First, we suggest the read of last week’s post. Second, this post. Third, look forward to the next broadCAST.
Jenny says…
Let me tell you a little bit about my boy. He is so kind and loving. He has always been the most soft-hearted empathetic little boy. He loves hard, much like his Mama. He feels others pain and shows caring gestures in moments of people’s sadness or hurt. I am so unbelievably proud of the little man that he is growing into. So, when I see him behave in this way, I question what it is that caused his reaction. My heart hurts for people in these moments of confusion and uncertainty.
So, I decided to sit with him and practice what I recently studied in my program. I tried to get his perspective of what had happened. In exploring today’s events with him, I discovered that there is this one little boy in his class that has been bullying him on a regular basis. This has been causing my son to have somatic issues. He has been anxious in the mornings before school, at times calls home after throwing up and uses pretty much any excuse in the book to leave. This is heart-breaking as a parent. Heart-breaking in general to be truthful. It isn’t only sad that my child is hurting, it is also sad that we really don’t know what the child doing the hurting is going through. In the program that I am in, it makes us look at things in a different light. I realize that my son deserves to be comfortable in class. He should never feel unsafe or scared. Sadly, that is not the world we live in. We live in a world where people aren’t always given the skills needed to be kind to one another without judgement or anger. So, as his mother I need to prepare him for the unknown. Prepare him to love the ones that don’t have it programmed in them to be empathetic and loving. You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.
… and that is where my thoughts are processing. I will have more to come in the next broadCAST.
Barry says…
“You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.” No truer words, Jenny; and kind of where my head and heart are now. In my first post on Empathy, I suggested that “Empathy is practiced when we are increasingly able to put ourselves in the shoes of another. It is diminished through apathy and distance. It is increased by caring and closeness. Dehumanization is one of the forces and sources advancing meanness and cruelty. The humanization of the world advances us in Empathy.”
I think the place to start is within. Empathy can constructively impact our Endurance. As I have noted before, “As leaders, educators, entrepreneurs and anyone… as we remember the feelings of our own moments of seeming vanquish and victory alike, we grow our practice of Empathy for ourselves and others. From that, we are stronger, more resilient and understanding.”
For me, as I put myself in the shoes of my former selves through life, and re-feel what trials and triumphs I have experienced (knowing I am still here and thriving), I gain a better sense of my strength and capacity. Track records matter, and feeling what it took to get through in the past can strengthen us for the future.
… and that is where my head and heart are today, on Empathy. More to come in the broadCAST indeed.
TOGETHER
So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work. Friends do that. Together, and through November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us. Join us, stay tuned and engage us. Our lives matter.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
- broadCAST October 2019
- Leaducator October 2019
- Deliver October 2019
- AukWords October 2019
- broadCAST mini-library
PLUS…
and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings
Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
Fear: The End?
Over this month, we have looked at fear. In our last post, we dug in on Fear and the Track Record. Today, we bring it all together with an add.
Jenny says…
To catch you and me up to date, here is what I have shared this month.
This month I will speak on fear and how we allow it to consume and control us. Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous likely to cause pain, or a threat. It is to be afraid of someone or something.
Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path 
that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.
When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey’s talk show comes to mind. He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.
Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?
It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not 
use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.
When we think of fear, we think of the negative aspect of it. What we don’t always realize is there are actual benefits to feeling fear. Fear guides our fight and flight responses. It also heightens our senses while keeping us alert and better prepared. When our brain kicks in to fight or flight our body is pumped full of Cortisol (the stress hormone). When we are finding ourselves flushed with stress or fear our adrenaline kicks in. Adrenaline increases our heart rate, but also gives us a burst of energy and focuses 
our attention on the danger at hand. During this fearful or stressful state, your body is also supplying norepinephrine, which is much like arousal. It helps us become more aware, alert, awake and focused. We become more responsive. And it pumps blood flow to the areas that are the most essential during this time, so that we can flee the stressful situation.
I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.
So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was! Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was 
growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?”. Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.
Today, OCTOBER 30, I offer…
Maybe instead of running when we feel this undeniable pull in a certain direction, we should instead explore this path. Maybe this is the path that we were meant to travel. Maybe it is something you never in a million years thought that you would do, or even be interested in doing. Now let me be clear, I am talking healthy changes, healthy exploration and experiences. I am not saying to jump into a random relationship or take a job because you have a fear of the unknown. I am saying listen to your body cues. Feel that surge of energy when the cortisol flushes through you. Use that as your driving force to challenge or overcome the obstacle that you are facing.
Barry says…
… and I intend to; explore. Thanks for that reminder Jenny. These past few years, especially, since my TIA/stroke in 2015, I have felt something of a gnawing in my Soul. Indeed, over the last year or so in particular, I have taken on a strategic and almost purposefully meandering journey of reflection and re-engineering … almost. No, not 
almost, indeed and in deed.
This week, that kind of culminated in a post called What Matters Most? In that, I shared on making and leaving your M.A.R.K. and stating your C.A.S.E.. I highly recommend the read if I do say so myself; and I do.
With that in mind, my deepest desire is not for riches nor fame, but service and impact. I seek only to work with those I can truly help. They are identified in that blog, where I focus it down to:
- I love, honor and have a blast helping global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world. I speak, teach, coach, facilitate, consult, write, cartoon, sing, dance, vlog, blog, pod and create on it.
How does this relate to fear? I am about to go outside my ever increased (over the years) box. I have had moments in my life where I was called upon, first resisted, and then made my jump… and those moments served in (a) teaching me my best relationship with fear, (b) showing me new understandings of capacity, and (c) offering new vistas and roads. This moment is no different.
In doing so, it might mean some kind of change of scenery; not necessarily geographically. It might mean new circles. It will mean new circles. That does not mean leaving my teaching, nor my work with Epic Engage™. That is the core and heart to this growth. I am an educator and entrepreneur who simply wants to love, honor and have a blast helping those global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world. It does mean digging deeper on a global focus.
Since childhood, I have seen myself as “Terran”, and my neighbourhood was Newfoundland and Labrador. I seek to primarily travel and work and walk with those that get that. That is not an elitist view because such a vision is open and accessible to anyone. It does mean that it is time for me to put on those global glasses and find those whose full heart is in it. I have no desire to retreat into local life. I love where I live, and will always call it my “hood”. But my vision is world embracing, and embracing is more than “accepting”. It requires a Wholeheartedness that says there is no “Plan B”. It requires such a Wholeheartedness that many might not share. That is OK. A part of me wants to ride with everyone. A bigger part of me knows that we best ride with those who want to ride together.
My life and friendships and work will not change much. But, there will be a fundamental change in seeing my life as “global”. As noted, I care not for riches, nor fame. Still, this “boy inside the man” has always sought service and impact that has no freakin’ borders and serves those who have the capacity and deep desire for the “betterment of the world”.
Some will not be on board, and that scares a part of me. But, that is good. Fear is a friend that causes us to question what it is we fear. Some fears tell us that we need to protect ourselves and that is a good thing. Some fears say “I dare you“. That is a good thing too.
For the next two months, I am choosing to run silent and deep. I will continue posting daily on my 
platforms of Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter, thrice daily; morning, noon and night. Three times daily with posts that I feel might add to the character of life.
That being said, I will be laying low otherwise.. I will be focusing on my teaching, Epic Engage™, my university courses and my health. I will not be out and about. There may be an event or two. There will be a few coffees and evenings with friends. But, I am drawing back, taking a deeper dive into those “global” eyes. I will be better understanding that I am a world citizen; an educator and entrepreneur without borders, if you will.
Will drawing back and doing so be scary? Yup. Yip. Uh-huh. It will mean questioning and changing my life in ways I have gotten used to for now seemingly too long. I love my life, and am grateful for it; but it is time to change it.
So, and again, let me ask you.
- What matters most to you? What cause or work or progress or service matters most to you? Deeply. Maybe consider those global goals to jog some thought.
- How do you imagine yourself now, or in the future, helping advance on it… moving the needle on it?
- Who do you imagine yourself best serving in doing so?
- What talents, capacities and services do you bring to move that needle?
- How will you be known with consistency, that is aligned with you, simple and enjoyable?
Dare yourself. Your fear might be your friend. Fear is never the end… it is the beginning; of discovery. Spend some time with you. Reflect. Re-engineer. Face the fear and feed the fire. I will.
TOGETHER
So, yes… fear has been our journey for October. Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work. Friends and colleagues do that. As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too. We will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.
Join us, stay tuned and engage us. Our lives matter.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
- broadCAST October 2019
- Leaducator October 2019
- Deliver October 2019
- AukWords October 2019
- broadCAST mini-library
Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
PLUS CHECK OUT…
and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings
Using Fear
This week, we continue our exploration of fear.
Jenny and I are digging deeper on this thing called fear, for ourselves and others. We are going beyond the “face value” of this force we call fear. This week, we question it’s value.
Jenny says…
I have shared three times on fear so far in:
I encourage you to go back and read for yourself. In The broadCAST™, I finished by saying I had some questions. I do, for us all. And some thoughts.
I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.
Honestly, I continue to think on these questions and thoughts and will no doubt share more next week. For now, I am asking that you think about it.
Barry says…
Jenny, I find this useful and am pondering same. What if fear was a tough coach, believing in us but pushing us? What if fear desired to be tamed or conquered? In my post in The broadCAST™, I suggested “that fear is too often lumped into one big bowl. Truthfully, there is irrational and rational fear. Fear 
has its benefits. It can keep us safe in the face of rational fear. Irrational fear, on the other hand, can control us in ways we must resist.”
What if the irrational fears are truly here to help? We know the rational fears are good for us; they protect us. But, indeed, what if the irrational fears were intent on inviting us to tame them, to conquer them, to build confidence through the courage in facing them? What if they are stepping stones to learning our greatest capacity?
Tomorrow, I have one of the most potentially far reaching talks I have ever given ( I will share more next time), but there are voices within that I have not heard in years. Voices that say, “Are you up to this?” and such. I have been in the training and development field for 39 years, have delivered messages to 200,000+ people through 20,000+ contact hours, have coached 1500+ clients, and delivered to audiences as large as 4,000… and still that voice creeps in for tomorrow. It questions me. And I will answer to the best of my ability. As a mentor once said to me, “Courage first, Confidence second”. I am about to find another stepping stone.
Fear as Motivator
TOGETHER
So, yes… fear continues to be our journey for October. Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work. Best friends do that.
As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.
Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.
Join us, stay tuned and engage us. Our lives matter.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
PLUS CHECK OUT…
and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings
Love and Grace
We think that we are lighting a cool fire for ourselves… and hopefully you. 🙂
Last week, we embarked on a month of exploring thoughts on taking better care of ourselves… with The Long, Cool Road. We humbly suggest it might be a short, cool read.
Then, earlier this week, through The broadCAST September 2019 (our monthly news and views blog with some 15 contributors), we took the dive a little further. It too, we recommend.
Now, we take it a little further…
Jenny says…
As I wrote in The Long, Cool Road, “This summer has been full, beautiful and extraordinary. So many positives, yet I am pooped. I am a strong believer in self-care. A huge believer. But even in the moments of self-care, my mind is in full speed, thinking of all that I need to do in the next five years of my life. Which in all honesty does not help or benefit me in the slightest.”
As I shared in The broadCAST September 2019, “I am currently reading a Brene Brown book called Rising Strong. She is a phenomenal writer and I find myself relating to most of her writings. I have to say it is taking me a LONG time reading because of that thing we call life. I take all the moments I can spare to sit and read for a bit. But let’s be real, I also have a million other things that I want to do. Be lazy and watch Netflix, eat cheesecake, do my nails, hang with my boy, maybe just do absolutely nothing while scrolling through Pinterest. You know, all those important valid things. Which I think at times we need to do. I think it is a part of unwinding and letting ourselves breathe for a moment in time.”
I also suggested, “I feel like moments of relaxing, taking a nap, going to a spa, or getting your hair done, may have been considered more of a selfish act. When really it isn’t. It is taking little moments to love yourself.”
So, here is my thought this week…
Because this is not such a natural act, I get stuck in moments of self-care, with little imprints of caring for others or thinking about the million things I need to do. That is not self-care at its finest. I know how difficult it is to completely unwind, allowing your mind to compartmentalize the important and not so important things we need to focus on at that time. I guess therefore I have been left exhausted. I have been doing things for myself amid chaos these past few weeks. But clearly, I have not allowed myself to detach and let go of everything I have no control over in that very moment. If I can’t fix it now, then get into that little box inside of my head so I can push it away somewhere until I can address it or accommodate it.
Can you relate? I have some more considering to do, and will share again next week.
Barry says…
I love where Jenny is going with this and can soooooo relate. As I embark on the busiest semester of my teaching career (full time teaching, taking two courses, building the second order of Epic Engage™ with Jenny, and finding balance in and amongst), I am aware of my honey badger mind.
The honey badger is an intensely strategic creature; curious and always going it seems.
So is my mind. 🙂
It serves me well as an educator and entrepreneur but the challenge is the pace of grace. Linda Kavelin-Popov (Co-Founder of The Virtues Project™) wrote a book on such, called A Pace of Grace. I need to go back to it. But, for now, three thoughts occur to me.
- First, what would the practice of the Virtue of Grace look like for me? I have to ponder on that.
- Second, in relation to that question, what would a full on “day of rest” each week look like.? This is the original concept of a Sabbath, a wise and ancient practice in the face of the 24/7 and too often worshipped hustle of life.
- Third, and in the spirit of a book Richard Bolles (of What Color is Your Parachute? fame) wrote called The Three Boxes of Life and How to Get Out of Them (I have a 36 year old copy)… what would it look like if I worked some, learned some and played some each and every day?
Robert Fulghum wrote of this in “All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten“. He wrote:
- All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school. These are the things I learned. Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
I have to munch on this, this week, as I prepare for this amazing, crazy 4 months. Thanks Jenny, for triggering my own thoughts on finding Grace. I love you bestie! I will have more to report back on next week.
TOGETHER
As we said last week… “Together, we are committed to living a joyful life and work. Best friends do that. Together, we will explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.”
We do indeed think this will get ever more interesting; and out of this will come many cool, long road beautiful moments from the Benny and Jarry experience.
So, join us, stay tuned and engage us. Our lives matter.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
- broadCAST September 2019
- A Labour of Love
- AuKwords August 2019
- Deliver August 2019
- Leaducator August 2019
PLUS…
and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings
Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
The Long, Cool Road
In our last blog, Be Open, we spoke to just that; being open. To follow on that theme, and through September, we thought to explore openness to life, as it is.
A mentor of Barry’s once said “life is best lived, living it at it’s own speed”. This pic and post from Jon Tesh stumbled 
across our radar last night. Barry posted it on Facebook, and added, “Strength is in living the story as most nobly you can…”. Ultimately, we are all positively challenged to live the long, cool road as best we can.
Still, we often either rush or resist the forces of life, choosing drive over flow. Here, and for the next few blog posts, here and on LinkedIn, we explore thoughts around love, character and flow.
Here, we begin to digest on thoughts around love, character and living. In the broadCAST for September, we will continue the exploration, and into our September Benny and Jarry posts. It promises to be real, raw, reflective and re-creating. For now…
Jenny says…
Hmmmmm…. Where do I begin??? This Blog may very well be all over the place in thought. As I have been these past couple weeks. I don’t mind saying it like it is, as you probably have noticed by reading my last blog, I am quite up-front and honest.
I am usually very positive and upbeat. But guess what, I am human like the rest us, and I am exhausted. I have been pushing myself to the limit in every aspect of my life. I have been trying to be a kick-ass Mom, Friend, Partner and Student. Well I only have so much to give.
I guess what I am saying is that in order to fill your own tank, you need to do things that you love. Even then you can find yourself drained and depleted. I am a prime example of that this past week.
This summer has been full, beautiful and extraordinary. So many positives, yet I am pooped. I am a strong believer in self-care. A huge believer. But even in the moments of self-care, my mind is in full speed, thinking of all that I need to do in the next five years of my life. Which in all honesty does not help or benefit me in the slightest.
While most structure their lives around schedule and organization, my life just doesn’t work well that way. Or at least I don’t think it does. Lord knows I have tried. I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I get things done, and if I don’t, I clearly didn’t think it was needed in that particular time, or in that particular order. I know I am not the only one that lives like this. Other people may think it is chaos, where I find it comfortable. It just works.
Rather than getting into how it works, which I don’t think really matters. We all work differently. I want to talk more about doing the best that we can with what we know. And finding what fits and benefits your life. In the upcoming broadCAST, I will explore some thoughts around that. For now, I repeat, “We all work differently… We all work differently… doing the best that we can with what we know… finding what fits and benefits your life.”
Barry says…
Jenny brings up a great point and one around which I have been, myself, thinking on this past week, probably unbeknownst to my bestie even. Just yesterday was my first day back into the College year, and I posted this on Day One. In it, I suggested:
“On this first day of the College year, I find there can be elements of overwhelm. For those passionate about teaching and doing our level best, it is a 10 month journey every year, standing in front of and with 15-30 souls at a time and engaging learning in the best of ways. For my speaker colleagues, it is not unlike 24 keynotes a week. This year, I want and intend to take it up another notch and the next 4 months in particular, for me, are going to be truly filled. Filled with delivering courses, studying character leadership and education, co-leading on Epic, learning basic Mandarin, enjoying song and dance, and getting into optimal health and shape. It will be filled, and today is the first day. Day One. :)”
First, I suggest a read of that post. Second, and even last night, I ran into my own overthinking brain. It caused my own sense of racing, and I knew that this cannot be maintained over these next 4 months of growth. Strategic thinking and planning is important, but there is a time and place. I have done mine.
Now, it is about execution… and execution is in the now. Knowing what is important now and in the future allows me to prioritize on the go. I choose those things that will serve me in the now and going forward. It is about flow over drive. A wolf does not spend countless hours considering and planning. It knows what is important to it, and it goes and does that, as needed, when needed… from rest to hunting, and everything in between. It is true throughout nature.
Over these next few weeks, and starting with the broadCAST, I too will explore thoughts around being as the best form of doing.
As children, we knew what was important to us… and I am not simply talking about play. I knew what “causes” were important to me. The work of this company is grounded in those, but I find I get distracted with what Stephen Covey would call the smaller rocks…. and sand. My own exploration this month will be about the aspects of character needed to beautifully and fiercely focus on the big rocks so that we live in the now and look forward to the future.
TOGETHER
Together, we are committed to living a joyful life and work. Best friends do that. Together, we will explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us. We think this will get interesting; and out of this will come many cool, long road beautiful moments from the Benny and Jarry experience. Join us, stay tuned and engage us. Our lives matter.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
PLUS…
and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings
Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
An “August” Trilogy
Recently, we posted the broadCAST for August, on magnificence. It is worth a read, we contend. In it, and at its beginning, we say “The word august references ideas such as deep respect, reverence, awe, dignity, wonder and magnificence.”
With that in mind, and the Benny and Jarry blogs to date… we begin a trilogy of sorts; three blog posts for August 14, 21 1nd 28. The first is simple, short and 
hopefully sweet. Here, we will briefly chat on a friendship retreat we and another great friend, Karen, are taking over the coming few days. The second will be a deconstruct on thoughts and even revelations after such. The third will be a launch into a whole new era with the Benny and Jarry blog, around which we are very excited.
So and first, yes over these next few days, we engage a full on retreat, as great friends. There promises to be music and fires and food and great conversations with so very little planning. There promises to be soulful conversations and laughter. There promises to be a retreat and advance. The retreat is physical and mental, getting away from the patterns of life we all find ourselves in to one extent or another. The advance is in advancing deeper, cooler friendship and dreams.
That is the beautiful promise of this time ahead. Stephen Covey once asked, “Have you ever been too busy driving to stop for gas?” We suggest that this is a poignant, powerful little question. Life is life, and we must live it at life’s speed. It is the ultimate role play and impromptu. Still, it is vital to disconnect and step outside of the play that we are in… to almost become an observer… to connect soul to soul. Why? Well, there are many thoughts on same. We suggest, therein, we find a deeper joy. We can get real and raw. Therein, we connect with our dreams. Therein, we find our gas stop. Therein, we get to Soul; the spiritual odyssey understanding life. 🙂
For us, this gas stop will probably involve singing and dancing, soulful and beautiful conversations around the fire, (God willing ) starry nights, good food, wonderful smiles, dreams, lots of laughter, the odd (or maybe more) selfie, and the best of friendships. It will not involve agendas and itineraries nor excessive expectations. It will involve three friends being friends, trusting in the safety, synergy and simplicity of our friendship. We look forward, but will live present. And, we will share on the memories created and ideas born.
Our question to you is “When is the last time you truly retreated with great friends?” A follow up might be “When and how can you plan your next?”
See you soon, and after. 🙂
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
- broadCAST: Magnificent
- Plead the 5th, July 2019
- AukWords: Clarity and Conviction
- Deliver: State Your CASE
- Leaducator: Another “DC”
- Developing Character Leadership
- The Character of Leadership
and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings
Benny and Jarry
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
The Practice of Love
We have started a new chapter with Benny and Jarry. With that, we have already shared on From Jenny, with Love and then Love and Character. Indeed, and over the coming months, we intend to expand into PODcasts of what we are affectionately calling the Benny and Jarry Show, exploring real and raw on love and character and how they make for better living, working and playing. Stay tuned. 🙂
As a conclusion to the opening 4 rounds of this new blog adventure (with much more to come), and for this week, we thought to share on practice.
Jenny on Practice
With practicing self-love comes health benefits. You will see that self-love is simply about owning our own power and acting from a place of kindness toward ourselves. It helps us let go of blame, shame, and anger. We invite ownership and power into our lives, while becoming completely responsible for our own lives; along with recognizing that we are the source to our happiness… the source to the power to change our futures, careers, relationships, passion, compassion, empathy, and authenticity.
It’s then that we begin to believe in our power. What matters is how we feel about ourselves, rather than others’ opinions. Practicing self-love puts us at peace. We accept our strengths and weaknesses. Unconditionally. All the self-love that we are now providing ourselves, allows us to show up and live our destined purpose… thus allowing us to let go of loneliness and embrace a deeper connection with the world… and attracting harmony, peace, spaciousness, and significance in relationships.
The more we look at ourselves with love, the more we practice love and acceptance towards others; accepting mistakes and failure and inviting vulnerability into our lives. We accept that we are enough. That there is no room for comparing ourselves to others.
When we love ourselves, we give birth to creativity, inspiration, and openness. Reality is accepted rather than blaming and fighting it, while, accepting failure knowing that it is one step closer to growth.
Allowing ourselves to grow gives us more energy to spread love and joy. Your positive love for yourself shines naturally and good things gravitate towards that energy. Lastly, we feel safe knowing that we will always be there for ourselves (Cynthia Belmer, Mind Body, Jan 2014).
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry on Practice
Character is about practice. We are not born with Patience. We practice it. We are born with all virtues, in potential. Potential becomes practical when practiced. Courage and Confidence can be practiced. Empathy and Compassion can be practiced. Discernment and Creativity can be practiced. Love can be practiced. Indeed, in our last post, I suggested:
- … that L.O.V.E. is about the practice of character. LOOK inside yourself for your strengths of character. Identify them. Name them, Claim them. Then, seek out OPPORTUNITIES where they are most needed. Discover what work, jobs, careers and vocations require them. Discover what services and hobbies demand them. Yes, identify your strengths of character and to where they are most called. Then, have a VISION in your head and heart as to how the world, or your corner of it, will be better when you do apply your strengths to those opportunities. Then, simply ENGAGE. Do it. That is how we L.O.V.E. our work. That is how we L.O.V.E. our service, and play and school and community and life. We look inside for our strengths of character, seek out opportunities where they are needed most, have a vision of their impact, and engage.
The late, great Stephen Covey suggested that love is an action. I suggest that it is a virtue, accessible to us all; and that it is accessible to us in our actions, through practice. When we look inside ourselves for our strengths (virtues, knowledge, skills, abilities) and then find opportunities to serve the world (or our corner of it) with those strengths, while having that vision of service in our head and heart… and we engage the process… we LOVE. We LOVE our work, our business, our school, our family, our friends and ourselves. We LOVE our life. And it is a practice.
Jenny provides examples of that above, and the benefits of doing same. I suggest that practice makes permanent. The more we practice, the better we get. The more we practice any virtue, the more body memory we create in knowing how to live it. In the days and weeks and months to come, I will continue to share on the art and science of character, and it’s relevance to L.O.V.E.. And I will be practicing, for life. I need it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
To You, Our Friend and Reader
Jenny and I (and Benny and Jarry) are so excited about the conversations and content ahead. We hope you are too… and we thank you for joining us on the journey.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
- broadCAST: Magnificent
- Plead the 5th, July 2019
- AukWords: Clarity and Conviction
- Deliver: State Your CASE
- Leaducator: Another “DC”
- Developing Character Leadership
- The Character of Leadership
and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings
Love and Character
In our last post, From Jenny, with Love, we commenced a journey; a new chapter with Benny and Jarry (aka Barry and Jenny lol).
Going forward, we will write on character, love, unity and excellence as it relates to living and working and serving and playing our lives away; whether as educators, entrepreneurs, emerging leaders or anyone looking to get more out of life by giving more to the lives of themselves and others.
Each week, we will offer up thoughts on the journey of Love and Character. We suggest that Character + Love = Unity = Excellence. We contend that Love and Character combine to produce palpable, powerful, practical Unity at school, work, business and community… that advances Excellence.
And we share thoughts here.
JENNY says
As I sit here tonight, with my freshly washed face and hair in a ponytail, I reflect on this beautiful, life changing week. My heart is happy. Although it has been for a couple years now. That being said, it has been a journey. A journey of awareness, of self-acceptance, of hardcore, no pussy footin’ around kind of honesty with myself and others. It has been joyous, and raw and real. And I continue to see the world through different lenses… the more I love myself, the more I am loving everyone else.
Don’t get me wrong, there are times I want to lay a smackdown on some people, but guess what??? This new and improved Jenny 2.0 has patience and awareness that I never thought I would be armed with. I am unstoppable.
Ok, let’s get down to the nitty gritty here.
I WAS NOT always this way, believe me. I never knew what it was to love me completely. Until these past few years. It took a swift kick in the ass for me to see who I am and all I have to offer. I guess what I am getting at is that I would ideally love to say that it only takes a few easy steps, but no I am not going to pussy foot around with you either. It is tough.
It is tough. Your self-doubt and self-loathing will test you. Will scream loudly the moment you begin to think “Hell ya, I am worth it.” It may even kick you down and throw dirt in your face time and time again. But that is just a small little piece of what will make you the kick-ass warrior that you will become.
I have no doubt that if I can achieve this love within myself, anyone can. I want to share my journey with you, I want you to share yours with me. I want you to know how damn important that you are in this world. That YOU are worth all of your own love.
We give so freely to others. And it is a beautiful thing. Don’t ever water that part of yourself down. But start loving yourself the same way. Be empathetic towards your life experiences. Don’t judge yourself in such a harsh way. Be gentle with your heart. You are so precious.
And I hope that this blog that I am just starting helps guide you to that place somehow. This is a journey, for not only me, but for all you beautiful souls reading this. This may not flow, each week I might have a different topic. But there will always be a taste of self-love, appreciation for yourself and others, notes on how to work on becoming more in tune with all your loving qualities, and just random messages on love in general.
What we so desperately need in the world.
So, join me on this journey of falling in love with everything life has to offer, including ourselves <3
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry says
I love the message Jenny brings. I love the fact that we are writing together going forward. I love who Jenny is and for what she stands. I love our incredible friendship and the work and play and life that unfolds from it. Indeed, I love my life. I get to teach business at the college level. I get to do this beautiful work with Epic Engage™. I get to speak, teach, facilitate, coach, consult, create, sing, dance, write, blog, vlog and more… and with Jenny. I love it, all. I love my #bestlittledogintheworld Panda, 
and my modest beautiful little home I call The Greens. I love my life.
We just completed an incredible retreat centering on the work of The Virtues Project™… exploring the 5 Strategies for building lives and cultures of character (I will share more as the weeks and months go by). I often suggest that Love is a virtue. It is an emotion. And it is action. I suggest that L.O.V.E. is about the practice of character. LOOK inside yourself for your strengths of character. Identify them. Name them, Claim them. Then, seek out OPPORTUNITIES where they are most needed. Discover what work, jobs, careers and vocations require them. Discover what services and hobbies demand them. Yes, identify your strengths of character and to where they are most called. Then, have a VISION in your head and heart as to how the world, or your corner of it, will be better when you do apply your strengths to those opportunities. Then, simply ENGAGE. Do it. That is how we L.O.V.E. our work. That is how we L.O.V.E. our service, and play and school and community and life. We look inside for our strengths of character, seek out opportunities where they are needed most, have a vision of their impact, and engage. Indeed, that is the Epic Engage™.
I have been in this work of leadership training and development for 39 years. I have earned my stripes the great, good, bad and ugly ways. I have L.O.V.E.d every minute of it. The errors have been teachers, getting me to consider what strengths of character I better needed to practice. The successes have been teachers in celebrating those I have practiced. Character has its teachable moments and L.O.V.E. requires character.
In times of trial, I have asked myself what strength of character were either missing or not being 
practiced, with the notion of putting them into practice. In times of triumph, I have asked myself what strengths of character were present in order to replicate, going forward.
Character is the soil from which the tree of behaviour grows. Pay attention to the soil and the tree will take care of itself. Ask yourself, in any given situation, what virtues were present or what were not. Ask yourself what do you need to continue practicing or start to practice. Character is about practice. Practice makes permanent. Challenges teach us when we practice character. Successes celebrate our best selves when we practice character.
My life has not been easy. Very few of us can say life ever truly is. Life has its challenges. It also has its growth, resulting from same. It has joy and love and so much more. It certainly has for me. Going forward, I will be sharing examples of L.O.V.E. in action. I will be writing, with Jenny, on love and character and their twin powers to advance real, raw and results driven living. This will be a sincere and simple exploration of the role character plays in our lives. I am excited to explore. Hope you are!
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
- Plead the 5th, July 2019
- AukWords: Clarity and Conviction
- Deliver: State Your CASE
- Leaducator: Another “DC”
- broadCAST: Dominion!
- Developing Character Leadership
- The Character of Leadership
and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings
From Jenny, with Love
In our last post, A New Chapter with Benny and Jarry, we announced just that… a new chapter with Benny and Jarry (aka Barry and Jenny lol). Going forward, we will write on character, love, unity and excellence as it relates to living and working and serving and playing our lives away; whether as educators, entrepreneurs, emerging leaders or anyone looking to get more out of life by giving more to the lives of themselves and others. But first, let us introduce ourselves for this next chapter.
Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action. She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care. With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so. Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all. Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services. With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work. Artistry is a path to love and healing. Jenny knows it. She believes in it. She drives it.
Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal. Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community. Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart. The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.” With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.
This week, Jenny offers up…
The reality of self-love is very important to our living our best lives. Our body is our home; we simply can’t live in it peacefully if we continue to destroy it. We need to be openly accepting our flaws because the reality is at the end of the day, the only person you truly have is yourself. And we need to be stronger for ourselves (Alyssa Lexine. Thought catalog. Aug 2016).
We need to be kinder to ourselves, allowing room for growth and error. Giving ourselves permission to mess up and make mistakes without chastising the person that matters the most; You, your own self.
We are beings of light and love. We so often freely love others, but we hardly take the time to recognize it for ourselves.
We are so quick to say when someone doesn’t love us the way we wish to be loved. Why are we waiting for them to step up and love us? When in all reality we have the power to do it on our own. We get to set our own standards on how we deserve to be loved, and by doing so we don’t have to accept anything less from others or ourselves.
Now to start this journey of falling completely in love with ourselves; realizing the importance of self-love is the first step to bettering your life. Here are just a few tips to get you started.
First and foremost, define your own beauty. Love yourself now by first accepting yourself the way you are. Change your focus to the thing that is most important. Start with one small thing about yourself and decide to love it. You don’t need to be perfect, but it’s uniquely you. Maybe begin with your eyes because you have seen so many beautiful things, while enduring all the tears you have cried.
Next, change your self-talk. That little voice in your head that drags you down needs to be changed. You wouldn’t speak that way to someone you love, so what makes it okay to say it to yourself? Replace that negative self-talk with something uplifting. When you make a mistake, try an encouraging phrase like, “It’s ok! I’ll try again.”
Also, don’t forget to pamper yourself. When your feet get wet, go home and put dry socks on. Be more aware of your physical condition and do things to comfort yourself. Warm up the water before washing your hands. Sit down when you are tired.
These are small ways to let yourself know that your comfort and well- being are important (Wendy G, Brookhaven, April 2017).
Don’t forget to spoil yourself regularly. Have a bath, do your nails, put on a face mask, wear your sexy underwear for yourself, or take yourself on a date. Act as if you are completely in love with yourself. Speak, eat, drink, dress and treat yourself as if you were your most loving fan, best friend, and lover all at once. Finally, take things lightly. Don’t be too serious. Make sure to laugh and have lots of fun. Even if you just fake it in the beginning, you will reap benefits. Fake it till you make it. (Lea, Life Coach, Feb 2015).
In the end (and the beginning, and throughout), love matters. Love directed to others matters. Love directed to ourselves matters. Going forward, I will be sharing thoughts on perspectives on the who, what, why, when and how of practicing the strength that is Love.
Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love
Benny and Jarry
Peace, passion and prosperity…
A New Chapter with Benny and Jarry
Last week, I posted on My Summer CAMP. In it, and among other things, I suggested that, “My thought to you is four-fold.
- Cleansing of mind, body and spirit requires honesty, openness and courage.
- Doing so is an investment.
- Doing so requires us to be open, adaptive and relentless (your OARs in the water).
- The return is high, on Clarity and Confidence.”
Such as been born out this past week, with changes coming to Epic Engage™ and how and why and with whom we work it. One of the first changes is to this blog. Going forward, much of my own work will be with my best friend and comrade in arms, Jenny Dearing. You will learn more of Jenny in the days and weeks to come but our work together is driven by the advancement of character, love, unity and excellence. What does that mean? You will find out soon.
For now, let me suggest that I am personally more clear than ever on what Epic Engage™ stands and works and serves for, going forward. Here, the blog will be known as Benny and Jarry, to represent the combined work of two best friends with passions and capacities for work that matters to both of us. More important for now, it is a reminder that my question to you last week still stands.
How can you see yourself cleansing and getting to the essentials? How can do CAMP? How can you have those cool, meaningful conversations with those you deeply trust… to explore who you are and what has most meaning. How can you take actions needed to align in accordance? How can you meditate on such, nay even pray? I am thinking July and August will continue to be CAMP, for me…. as I get ever more clear on the work, service and play ahead.
Stay tuned for the first of Benny and Jarry, and look forward to a fierce and fun mission and service as we move forward together, stronger.
Peace, passion and prosperity…
Barry Lewis Green, aka The Unity Guy
