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Fear: The End?

Over this month, we have looked at fear.  In our last post, we dug in on Fear and the Track Record.  Today, we bring it all together with an add.

Jenny says…

To catch you and me up to date, here is what I have shared this month.

This month I will speak on fear and how we allow it to consume and control us.  Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous likely to cause pain, or a threat. It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.
When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey’s talk show comes to mind. He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?

It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.

When we think of fear, we think of the negative aspect of it. What we don’t always realize is there are actual benefits to feeling fear. Fear guides our fight and flight responses. It also heightens our senses while keeping us alert and better prepared. When our brain kicks in to fight or flight our body is pumped full of Cortisol (the stress hormone). When we are finding ourselves flushed with stress or fear our adrenaline kicks in. Adrenaline increases our heart rate, but also gives us a burst of energy and focuses our attention on the danger at hand. During this fearful or stressful state, your body is also supplying norepinephrine, which is much like arousal. It helps us become more aware, alert, awake and focused. We become more responsive. And it pumps blood flow to the areas that are the most essential during this time, so that we can flee the stressful situation.

I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.

So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was! Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?”. Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.

Today, OCTOBER 30, I offer…

Maybe instead of running when we feel this undeniable pull in a certain direction, we should instead explore this path. Maybe this is the path that we were meant to travel. Maybe it is something you never in a million years thought that you would do, or even be interested in doing. Now let me be clear, I am talking healthy changes, healthy exploration and experiences. I am not saying to jump into a random relationship or take a job because you have a fear of the unknown. I am saying listen to your body cues. Feel that surge of energy when the cortisol flushes through you. Use that as your driving force to challenge or overcome the obstacle that you are facing.

Barry says…

… and I intend to; explore. Thanks for that reminder Jenny.  These past few years, especially, since my TIA/stroke in 2015, I have felt something of a gnawing in my Soul.  Indeed, over the last year or so in particular, I have taken on a strategic and almost purposefully meandering journey of reflection and re-engineering … almost.  No, not almost, indeed and in deed.

This week, that kind of culminated in a post called What Matters Most?  In that, I shared on making and leaving your M.A.R.K. and stating your C.A.S.E..  I highly recommend the read if I do say so myself; and I do.

With that in mind, my deepest desire is not for riches nor fame, but service and impact.  I seek only to work with those I can truly help.  They are identified in that blog, where I focus it down to:

  • I love, honor and have a blast helping global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world. I speak, teach, coach, facilitate, consult, write, cartoon, sing, dance, vlog, blog, pod and create on it.

How does this relate to fear?  I am about to go outside my ever increased (over the years) box.  I have had moments in my life where I was called upon, first resisted, and then made my jump… and those moments served in (a) teaching me my best relationship with fear, (b) showing me new understandings of capacity, and (c) offering new vistas and roads.  This moment is no different.

In doing so, it might mean some kind of change of scenery; not necessarily geographically.  It might mean new circles.  It will mean new circles.  That does not mean leaving my teaching, nor my work with Epic Engage™.  That is the core and heart to this growth.  I am an educator and entrepreneur who simply wants to love, honor and have a blast helping those global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world.  It does mean digging deeper on a global focus.

Since childhood, I have seen myself as “Terran”, and my neighbourhood was Newfoundland and Labrador.  I seek to primarily travel and work and walk with those that get that.  That is not an elitist view because such a vision is open and accessible to anyone.  It does mean that it is time for me to put on those global glasses and find those whose full heart is in it.  I have no desire to retreat into local life.  I love where I live, and will always call it my “hood”.  But my vision is world embracing, and embracing is more than “accepting”.  It requires a Wholeheartedness that says there is no “Plan B”.  It requires such a Wholeheartedness that many might not share.  That is OK.  A part of me wants to ride with everyone.  A bigger part of me knows that we best ride with those who want to ride together.

My life and friendships and work will not change much.  But, there will be a fundamental change in seeing my life as “global”. As noted, I care not for riches, nor fame.  Still, this “boy inside the man” has always sought service and impact that has no freakin’ borders and serves those who have the capacity and deep desire for the “betterment of the world”.

Some will not be on board, and that scares a part of me.  But, that is good. Fear is a friend that causes us to question what it is we fear.  Some fears tell us that we need to protect ourselves and that is a good thing.  Some fears say “I dare you“.  That is a good thing too.

For the next two months, I am choosing to run silent and deep.  I will continue posting daily on my platforms of Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter, thrice daily; morning, noon and night.  Three times daily with posts that I feel might add to the character of life.

That being said, I will be laying low otherwise..  I will be focusing on my teaching, Epic Engage™, my university courses and my health.  I will not be out and about.  There may be an event or two.  There will be a few coffees and evenings with friends.  But, I am drawing back, taking a deeper dive into those “global” eyes.  I will be better understanding that I am a world citizen; an educator and entrepreneur without borders, if you will.

Will drawing back and doing so be scary?  Yup.  Yip. Uh-huh.  It will mean questioning and changing my life in ways I have gotten used to for now seemingly too long.  I love my life, and am grateful for it; but it is time to change it.

So, and again, let me ask you.

  • What matters most to you? What cause or work or progress or service matters most to you? Deeply. Maybe consider those global goals to jog some thought.
  • How do you imagine yourself now, or in the future, helping advance on it… moving the needle on it?
  • Who do you imagine yourself best serving in doing so?
  • What talents, capacities and services do you bring to move that needle?
  • How will you be known with consistency, that is aligned with you, simple and enjoyable?

Dare yourself.  Your fear might be your friend.  Fear is never the end… it is the beginning; of discovery.  Spend some time with you.  Reflect.  Re-engineer.  Face the fear and feed the fire.  I will.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear has been our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends and colleagues do that.  As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.  We will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

 

 

Fear and the Track Record

In our last post, we looked at Using Fear.  So, to date, we have taken on this topic in:

It has been an interesting journey thus far, and we recommend you go back and read the posts.  Now, this week, our second last on the topic (for now anyway)…

Jenny says…

So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was!

Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?” Here is a cool version of that message.

Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.

I will have some closing thoughts next week.

Barry says…

I can relate to what Jenny is saying.  Over the years, I have had moments where I thought that the door had closed in so many ways, only to find a new opening.  My transitions have been stepping stones though they might not have felt such at the time; which brings me to my point this week.

Throughout my life and career, I have been reminded of the importance of a track record.  If you are still here in this world and life, you have made it through so many things.  Most of the time, we focus on what we went through and not the fact that we got through.  The latter is more important than the former.  Understanding that we got through is a teacher; of character and confidence.  It becomes so when we take real stock of what it took to get through.  These times become teachers when we consciously alert ourselves to the strengths and capacities they took to get through.

In my years in leadership training and development, I have seen this countless times.  As we go through a challenge and come out the other end, we know that it took Courage and the result is added Confidence.  Practice does not make perfect.  It makes confident; in the healthiest of ways.

As I look upon my life thus far from childhood and youth, through a career in business and education, I see those moments that tested my Courage.  A test is not intended to cause failure but to provide an opportunity to pass.  The more tests we pass, the greater our true Confidence.  It does not happen without challenge.  From the morbidly shy kid to the guy who would passionately look forward to speaking with 20,000 people, I see the value of my fear and Courage over the years.  As a guy who has intention to move focus to an ever increasing global body of work and service, there will be more challenges.  I know that.  Knowing that does not make it easier.  It is not supposed to be.  But, knowing from whence I came, I know my capacity to grow… and I ain’t done!

Look at your life and the defining moments.  Track your timeline of trial to triumph. If you want a copy of the timeline worksheet, contact me via LinkedIn.  See your tests as opportunities to pass.  Learn from them.  I have some biggies coming and will share in my next and last post next week.  It’s about to get heavy … and cool.

Wish me pain.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear continues to be our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.

As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.

Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Using Fear

This week, we continue our exploration of fear.

Jenny and I are digging deeper on this thing called fear, for ourselves and others.  We are going beyond the “face value” of this force we call fear.  This week, we question it’s value.

Jenny says…

I have shared three times on fear so far in:

I encourage you to go back and read for yourself.  In The broadCAST™, I finished by saying I had some questions.  I do, for us all.  And some thoughts.

I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.

Honestly, I continue to think on these questions and thoughts and will no doubt share more next week.  For now, I am asking that you think about it.

Barry says…

Jenny, I find this useful and am pondering same.  What if fear was a tough coach, believing in us but pushing us?  What if fear desired to be tamed or conquered?  In my post in The broadCAST™, I suggested “that fear is too often lumped into one big bowl. Truthfully, there is irrational and rational fear. Fear has its benefits. It can keep us safe in the face of rational fear. Irrational fear, on the other hand, can control us in ways we must resist.”

What if the irrational fears are truly here to help?  We know the rational fears are good for us; they protect us.  But, indeed, what if the irrational fears were intent on inviting us to tame them, to conquer them, to build confidence through the courage in facing them?  What if they are stepping stones to learning our greatest capacity?

Tomorrow, I have one of the most potentially far reaching talks I have ever given ( I will share more next time), but there are voices within that I have not heard in years. Voices that say, “Are you up to this?” and such.  I have been in the training and development field for 39 years, have delivered messages to 200,000+ people through 20,000+ contact hours, have coached 1500+ clients, and delivered to audiences as large as 4,000… and still that voice creeps in for tomorrow.  It questions me.  And I will answer to the best of my ability.  As a mentor once said to me, “Courage first, Confidence second”.  I am about to find another stepping stone.

Fear as Motivator

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear continues to be our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.

As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.

Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

Fear as Friend?

This week, we continue our exploration of fear.  Last week we posted on Introducing Fear.  This week, here … and in our upcoming broadCAST™ to be released Friday, October 11, ahead of Canadian Thanksgiving… we will continue that exploration. If you are wondering about The broadCAST™, check this out as we lead up to the October issue.  It is worth the time. Now, on to checking in on fear.

Jenny says…

First, I invite you to read our first foray into fear, and my opening thoughts.

Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?

It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.

In The broadCAST™ on Friday, I will share more on my thoughts  around what I consider to be the benefits of fear.

Barry says..

I love the notion of fear guiding us Jenny.  I offer up this story from Baha’u’llah.

  • There was once a lover who had sighed for long years in separation from his beloved, and wasted in the fire of remoteness. From the rule of love, his heart was empty of patience, and his body weary of his spirit; he reckoned life without her as a mockery, and time consumed him away. How many a day he found no rest in longing for her; how many a night the pain of her kept him from sleep; his body was worn to a sigh, his heart’s wound had turned him to a cry of sorrow. He had given a thousand lives for one taste of the cup of her presence, but it availed him not. The doctors knew no cure for him, and companions avoided his company; yea, physicians have no medicine for one sick of love, unless the favor of the beloved one deliver him. At last, the tree of his longing yielded the fruit of despair, and the fire of his hope fell to ashes. Then one night he could live no more, and he went out of his house and made for the marketplace. On a sudden, a watchman followed 14 after him. He broke into a run, with the watchman following; then other watchmen came together, and barred every passage to the weary one. And the wretched one cried from his heart, and ran here and there, and moaned to himself: “Surely this watchman is Izrá’íl, my angel of death, following so fast upon me; or he is a tyrant of men, seeking to harm me.” His feet carried him on, the one bleeding with the arrow of love, and his heart lamented. Then he came to a garden wall, and with untold pain he scaled it, for it proved very high; and forgetting his life, he threw himself down to the garden.  And there he beheld his beloved with a lamp in her hand, searching for a ring she had lost. When the heart-surrendered lover looked on his ravishing love, he drew a great breath and raised up his hands in prayer, crying: “O God! Give Thou glory to the watchman, and riches and long life. For the watchman was Gabriel, guiding this poor one; or he was Isráfíl, bringing life to this wretched one!”

Regardless of faith, this story speaks to the power that those things we consider fearsome might have for us.  Are they enemies or actually watchpersons guiding us back to our heart?  When we encounter fear, it occurs to me that the question is, “what does this fear teach me?”  Does it teach me that I truly do not want this in my life. and so I walk in new directions?  Does it teach me that the wall is only but an obstacle and my true desire is on the other side of that fear?  Since childhood, I have, at times, experienced such powerful nightmares whereupon and after I have increasingly and ever better asked myself these questions and the answers are constructive.  Sometimes the nightmare says, “Well, now you know what your soul does not want in life.”  That is a signpost for walking my life.  Other times it says, “How bad do you want this?”  That is a proverbial kick in the arse.

In our last post, I offered three thoughts from an episode of Star Trek: Voyager (check it out):

  • “I’ve learned to trust fear.”
  • “Fear is the most honest of emotions.”
  • “Fear only exists for one purpose… to be conquered.”

I think my post on Another da Vinci Code speaks to these in part.  I think the story above speaks to these.  Now, I will ponder… and, like Jenny, I will be back with more thought in The broadCAST™ later this week.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear is our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.  Having a better understanding of fear helps too.  Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

Introducing Fear

Last month, we shared on a series around love and self care.  This month, The Benny and Jarry Blog enters October exploring fear.  First, consider:

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”  ― John Lennon

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson

“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” ― J.K. Rowling

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ― Jim Morrison

JENNY says…

This whole month I will speak on and to fear … and how we allow it to consume and control us.

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.  It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.

When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey comes to mind.  He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it; well I have it linked above lol. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

In the upcoming broadCAST™ for October, I am going to share more on my own journey with fear.  I look forward to sharing my own thoughts on that journey and lessons learned and learning.  Hope you join me. <3

BARRY says…

I am looking forward to this journey with fear, Jenny.  I have long said and believed (but not always acted upon) the thought that fear is not the question; fear of what is.  Fear is a natural emotion of which we are all capable.  The question is not whether or not we are afraid, but of what we afraid.

I met an ex-Marine who fought in Vietnam.  I met him in 1988.  He shared a story of how we was behind Cambodian lines with his platoon.  Many were dead, many more injured and they were trying to get out of Cambodia through mine-laden rice paddies.  You see, the Americans were not supposed to be in Cambodia. Richard Nixon was apparently proclaiming that there were no troops in Cambodia.  So, there were no troops coming to help.  His platoon had to get themselves out.  They did.  It was harrowing.  I was all of 28 at the time and I remember asking him if he was scared.  He looked at me and smiled, saying essentially, “Of course we were.  Anyone who says they were not scared is either a fool or a liar.”  He then looked me in the eyes and basically said, “Barry, listen to me.  Remember this.  Courage first, confidence second.”

That message I have remembered.  He was saying that courage is in the face of fear; no fear, no courage… and courage is the source of confidence.  We need fear to prove something to ourselves.  We need fear to grow.

If you have time, take 5 minutes to watch Captain Janeway engage fear manifested in AI form.  In the video, there are three thoughts I love.

  • “I’ve learned to trust fear.”
  • “Fear is the most honest of emotions.”
  • “Fear only exists for one purpose… to be conquered.”

Fear has purpose.  And questioning what we fear has purpose.  In my next piece in The broadCAST™, I shall share some more thoughts on my own journey with fear, as friend.

TOGETHER

So, fear is our journey for October.  Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.  Having a better understanding of fear helps too.  Together, and into October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

The Practice of Love

We have started a new chapter with Benny and Jarry.  With that, we have already shared on From Jenny, with Love and then Love and Character.  Indeed, and over the coming months, we intend to expand into PODcasts of what we are affectionately calling the Benny and Jarry Show, exploring real and raw on love and character and how they make for better living, working and playing.  Stay tuned.  🙂

As a conclusion to the opening 4 rounds of this new blog adventure (with much more to come), and for this week, we thought to share on practice.

Jenny on Practice

With practicing self-love comes health benefits. You will see that self-love is simply about owning our own power and acting from a place of kindness toward ourselves. It helps us let go of blame, shame, and anger. We invite ownership and power into our lives, while becoming completely responsible for our own lives; along with recognizing that we are the source to our happiness… the source to the power to change our futures, careers, relationships, passion, compassion, empathy, and authenticity.

It’s then that we begin to believe in our power. What matters is how we feel about ourselves, rather than others’ opinions. Practicing self-love puts us at peace. We accept our strengths and weaknesses. Unconditionally. All the self-love that we are now providing ourselves, allows us to show up and live our destined purpose… thus allowing us to let go of loneliness and embrace a deeper connection with the world… and attracting harmony, peace, spaciousness, and significance in relationships.

The more we look at ourselves with love, the more we practice love and acceptance towards others; accepting mistakes and failure and inviting vulnerability into our lives. We accept that we are enough. That there is no room for comparing ourselves to others.

When we love ourselves, we give birth to creativity, inspiration, and openness. Reality is accepted rather than blaming and fighting it, while, accepting failure knowing that it is one step closer to growth.

Allowing ourselves to grow gives us more energy to spread love and joy. Your positive love for yourself shines naturally and good things gravitate towards that energy. Lastly, we feel safe knowing that we will always be there for ourselves (Cynthia Belmer, Mind Body, Jan 2014).

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry on Practice

Character is about practice.  We are not born with Patience.  We practice it.  We are born with all virtues, in potential.  Potential becomes practical when practiced.  Courage and Confidence can be practiced.  Empathy and Compassion can be practiced.  Discernment and Creativity can be practiced.  Love can be practiced.  Indeed, in our last post, I suggested:

  • … that L.O.V.E. is about the practice of character.  LOOK inside yourself for your strengths of character.  Identify them.  Name them, Claim them.  Then, seek out OPPORTUNITIES where they are most needed.  Discover what work, jobs, careers and vocations require them.  Discover what services and hobbies demand them.  Yes, identify your strengths of character and to where they are most called.  Then, have a VISION in your head and heart as to how the world, or your corner of it, will be better when you do apply your strengths to those opportunities.  Then, simply ENGAGE.  Do it.  That is how we L.O.V.E. our work.  That is how we L.O.V.E. our service, and play and school and community and life.  We look inside for our strengths of character, seek out opportunities where they are needed most, have a vision of their impact, and engage.

The late, great Stephen Covey suggested that love is an action.  I suggest that it is a virtue, accessible to us all; and that it is accessible to us in our actions, through practice.  When we look inside ourselves for our strengths (virtues, knowledge, skills, abilities) and then find opportunities to serve the world (or our corner of it) with those strengths, while having that vision of service in our head and heart… and we engage the process… we LOVE.  We LOVE our work, our business, our school, our family, our friends and ourselves.  We LOVE our life.  And it is a practice.

Jenny provides examples of that above, and the benefits of doing same.  I suggest that practice makes permanent.  The more we practice, the better we get.  The more we practice any virtue, the more body memory we create in knowing how to live it.  In the days and weeks and months to come, I will continue to share on the art and science of character, and it’s relevance to L.O.V.E..  And I will be practicing, for life.  I need it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

To You, Our Friend and Reader

Jenny and I (and Benny and Jarry) are so excited about the conversations and content ahead.  We hope you are too… and we thank you for joining us on the journey.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

Love and Character

In our last post, From Jenny, with Love, we commenced a journey; a new chapter with Benny and Jarry (aka Barry and Jenny lol).

Going forward, we will write on character, love, unity and excellence as it relates to living and working and serving and playing our lives away; whether as educators, entrepreneurs, emerging leaders or anyone looking to get more out of life by giving more to the lives of themselves and others.

Each week, we will offer up thoughts on the journey of Love and Character.  We suggest that Character + Love = Unity = Excellence.  We contend that Love and Character combine to produce palpable, powerful, practical Unity at school, work, business and community… that advances Excellence.

And we share thoughts here.

JENNY says

As I sit here tonight, with my freshly washed face and hair in a ponytail, I reflect on this beautiful, life changing week. My heart is happy. Although it has been for a couple years now. That being said, it has been a journey. A journey of awareness, of self-acceptance, of hardcore, no pussy footin’ around kind of honesty with myself and others. It has been joyous, and raw and real. And I continue to see the world through different lenses… the more I love myself, the more I am loving everyone else.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times I want to lay a smackdown on some people, but guess what??? This new and improved Jenny 2.0 has patience and awareness that I never thought I would be armed with. I am unstoppable.

Ok, let’s get down to the nitty gritty here.

I WAS NOT always this way, believe me. I never knew what it was to love me completely. Until these past few years. It took a swift kick in the ass for me to see who I am and all I have to offer. I guess what I am getting at is that I would ideally love to say that it only takes a few easy steps, but no I am not going to pussy foot around with you either. It is tough.

It is tough.  Your self-doubt and self-loathing will test you. Will scream loudly the moment you begin to think “Hell ya, I am worth it.” It may even kick you down and throw dirt in your face time and time again. But that is just a small little piece of what will make you the kick-ass warrior that you will become.

I have no doubt that if I can achieve this love within myself, anyone can. I want to share my journey with you, I want you to share yours with me. I want you to know how damn important that you are in this world. That YOU are worth all of your own love.

We give so freely to others. And it is a beautiful thing. Don’t ever water that part of yourself down. But start loving yourself the same way. Be empathetic towards your life experiences. Don’t judge yourself in such a harsh way. Be gentle with your heart. You are so precious.

And I hope that this blog that I am just starting helps guide you to that place somehow. This is a journey, for not only me, but for all you beautiful souls reading this. This may not flow, each week I might have a different topic. But there will always be a taste of self-love, appreciation for yourself and others, notes on how to work on becoming more in tune with all your loving qualities, and just random messages on love in general.

What we so desperately need in the world.

So, join me on this journey of falling in love with everything life has to offer, including ourselves <3

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry says

I love the message Jenny brings.  I love the fact that we are writing together going forward.  I love who Jenny is and for what she stands.  I love our incredible friendship and the work and play and life that unfolds from it.  Indeed, I love my life.  I get to teach business at the college level. I get to do this beautiful work with Epic Engage™.  I get to speak, teach, facilitate, coach, consult, create, sing, dance, write, blog, vlog and more… and with Jenny.  I love it, all.  I love my #bestlittledogintheworld Panda, and my modest beautiful little home I call The Greens.  I love my life.

We just completed an incredible retreat centering on the work of The Virtues Project™… exploring the 5 Strategies for building lives and cultures of character (I will share more as the weeks and months go by).   I often suggest that Love is a virtue.  It is an emotion.  And it is action.  I suggest that L.O.V.E. is about the practice of character.  LOOK inside yourself for your strengths of character.  Identify them.  Name them, Claim them.  Then, seek out OPPORTUNITIES where they are most needed.  Discover what work, jobs, careers and vocations require them.  Discover what services and hobbies demand them.  Yes, identify your strengths of character and to where they are most called.  Then, have a VISION in your head and heart as to how the world, or your corner of it, will be better when you do apply your strengths to those opportunities.  Then, simply ENGAGE.  Do it.  That is how we L.O.V.E. our work.  That is how we L.O.V.E. our service, and play and school and community and life.  We look inside for our strengths of character, seek out opportunities where they are needed most, have a vision of their impact, and engage.  Indeed, that is the Epic Engage™.

I have been in this work of leadership training and development for 39 years.  I have earned my stripes the great, good, bad and ugly ways.  I have L.O.V.E.d every minute of it.  The errors have been teachers, getting me to consider what strengths of character I better needed to practice.  The successes have been teachers in celebrating those I have practiced.  Character has its teachable moments and L.O.V.E. requires character.

In times of trial, I have asked myself what strength of character were either missing or not being practiced, with the notion of putting them into practice.  In times of triumph, I have asked myself what strengths of character were present in order to replicate, going forward.

Character is the soil from which the tree of behaviour grows.  Pay attention to the soil and the tree will take care of itself.  Ask yourself, in any given situation, what virtues were present or what were not.  Ask yourself what do you need to continue practicing or start to practice.  Character is about practice.  Practice makes permanent.  Challenges teach us when we practice character.  Successes celebrate our best selves when we practice character.

My life has not been easy.  Very few of us can say life ever truly is.  Life has its challenges.  It also has its growth, resulting from same.  It has joy and love and so much more.  It certainly has for me.  Going forward, I will be sharing examples of L.O.V.E. in action.  I will be writing, with Jenny, on love and character and their twin powers to advance real, raw and results driven living.  This will be a sincere and simple exploration of the role character plays in our lives.  I am excited to explore.  Hope you are!

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

A New Chapter with Benny and Jarry

Last week, I posted on My Summer CAMP.  In it, and among other things, I suggested that, “My thought to you is four-fold.

  • Cleansing of mind, body and spirit requires honesty, openness and courage.
  • Doing so is an investment.
  • Doing so requires us to be open, adaptive and relentless (your OARs in the water).
  • The return is high, on Clarity and Confidence.”

Such as been born out this past week, with changes coming to Epic Engage™ and how and why and with whom we work it.  One of the first changes is to this blog.  Going forward, much of my own work will be with my best friend and comrade in arms, Jenny Dearing.  You will learn more of Jenny in the days and weeks to come but our work together is driven by the advancement of character, love, unity and excellence.  What does that mean?  You will find out soon.

For now, let me suggest that I am personally more clear than ever on what Epic Engage™ stands and works and serves for, going forward.  Here, the blog will be known as Benny and Jarry, to represent the combined work of two best friends with passions and capacities for work that matters to both of us.  More important for now, it is a reminder that my question to you last week still stands.

How can you see yourself cleansing and getting to the essentials How can do CAMP?  How can you have those cool, meaningful conversations with those you deeply trust… to explore who you are and what has most meaning. How can you take actions needed to align in accordance?  How can you meditate on such, nay even pray?  I am thinking July and August will continue to be CAMP, for me…. as I get ever more clear on the work, service and play ahead.

Stay tuned for the first of Benny and Jarry, and look forward to a fierce and fun mission and service as we move forward together, stronger.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green, aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

Simple, Man

Last week, I wrote on Simpler and HonesterWow, I did not realize how much that would impact me, consciously and otherwise.  Over the last year in particular, I have been purposefully reflecting on meaning for me in and for what I keep calling “the next chapter”.  Specifically, back in March of 2018, I wrote on Aim High.  It considered 5 areas worthy of questions, answers and reflection.  And I wrote The Book on Happiness in that month.  In April of last year, I wrote on #FTSF$%#K the Script…. and Find Your Simplicity… and What is Your Ikigai?  In May 2018, I wrote on 5 Questions for Clarity… and Finding Your Scriptand your fit.   The blogging continued on a variety of topics related to my work (including purposeful reflection) and in January 0f 2019, I wrote on The Tr’a’at is Talking…. Manifest, Oh! and Do the Work.  In February, The BIG Cool Work and Our Universal Three… about Remembering who you are, Readying yourself every day and Rising in action and service.  Indeed, this meandering exploration of me heated up with A Birthday Wish and:

It might seem that this is all I have blogged on, but I write a lot of blogs.  🙂  That being said, and in and amidst all of this reflection and journaling (out of the seeming complexity of same), two things arise for me.

  • FIRST, I suggest meandering has a purpose.  It is called exploration.  Indeed, I suggest any and all of the reads above to nudge your own meandering reflection.
  • SECOND, by traveling the road or river and all its meandering, you invariably arrive at a destination point of sorts for at least that leg of the journey.  For me, that has just happened.

The Next Landing Point

These past few weeks in particular, I have had questions asked of me randomly that have surfaced some realizations and remembrances.  I have had huge and heartfelt disappointments and wondrous surprises that have done same.  And, with it all, there has been almost a bubbling up or boiling down of some simple truths.  Recalling passions, purpose and more.

Specifically, the other day, in a conversation around age of all things, someone asked me how I might describe myself in terms of age.  My answer was quick, forthright and lovingly forceful (and unplanned).  I said that I consider myself a “force of nature”.

I don’t give a “rat’s arse” what number or category you want to apply.  I am thunder and lightning with the “and” in between.  Well, that got me thinking; that and those other direct and unexpected questions along the way.  Actually, it got me realizing some undeniable truths for me.  Undeniable truths are the destination point for reflection.  You are trying to get to them, in terms of your very soul.  Everything else is wishy-washy.  So, what are my undeniables?  I include them here as to what my soul screams in a whisper and not necessarily as how I have been living or not living it of late.

  • In the work I do and the life I live, I am a force of nature, unconstrained as the wind. I live to create, learn and teach for a damn freakin’ better world.  I am an outlier and a misfit who loves humanity.  I revere the human spirit, reveling in it.  Humanity rocks.  Inhumanity rots.  I am accountable to and unapologetically confident in humanity; and my deep desire to live and serve it.  I am not perfect, nor do I believe in it as a noun.  I have made and will make doozies of mistakes. BUT, I damn well sure believe in perfect as a verb.  Perfecting and raising my character is not part of me.  It is me.  In that, I have got a four let word for I don’t care… a whole lotta drive to get me there. I do not care about fame nor fortune, but I live for fierce.  I will work, live, love and play with what I call “activants”; those people who do not want to change the world… they are doing it by their very living in it. No kumbaya.  All, bring it.  I love and live fiercely. Untempered.  Unconstrained, Unconditional. Period.  Force of nature. Dangerous. In the best of ways.  When I am fiercely honest with myself, I love and live like a weapon when the order is “fire everything”. In life and work, I love the extremes of inward, slow and gentle to gregarious, fast and forceful.  I am a creator, student, teacher, singer, dancer, writer, cartoonist on all things character.  I fiercely contend it is the path to vibrant, dynamic, exciting and future driven unity.  And, I loooove that.  I am Barry (Lewis Green).  I am The Unity Guy thing.

This will always evolve in terms of articulation and vocabulary.  But it will not in terms of spirit.  That being said, have I been living this fully?  No.  I have been tempered for way too long, hoping to be comfortable for as many people as possible.  Comfort is good, but it can also be cowardly and complacent.  I want neither.  Never have, though I have tempered myself.  This past year, and over the 4 years since stroke, I have been slowly but steadfastly getting to a space where the shy but immensely creative boy merges with the confident, “successful” but somehow overly-responsible-to-the-wrong-things-and-people man.  It is what drives my nine milestone goals for this year ahead of my next birthday.  The result is and will be some new best of both worlds.  This silly boy and fierce man are one.

Now, many who know or think they know me might say that that is what they see and experience right now, but it is not.  98% pure water is not pure.  And pure is what my soul craves.  No tempering or tampering down.

Does this mean no mistakes?  Hell no.  It does mean I am choosing to get back to and even move the needle on Hell Yeah.  It does mean a rediscovering of an energy buried a bit, for too long.  It does mean a new found kind of boom.

Quite recently, I have been introduced to the music of Damien Rice, LP, Zaz and Brass Against… among others.  Each time, I hear a song that touches my soul, I know.  I don’t have to think about it.  I freakin’ know.  Each time, I meet a person who does the same to and for me, I know.  Each time, I run across a cause that does the very same, I know.  I know. You do too.  You just have to tap in and open up.

Look, conformity for conformity’s sake is numbness.  Conformity for not rocking the boat, is repression and oppression.  Conformity to fit in is a slow death.  I want neither.  I am not in favour of strife nor contention.  But being who you are is not about trying to offend.  Trying to offend is another form of posing.  Asserting your voice is simply finding your place.  As a kid, I knew my voice, all the while learning to speak it.

For You

For you, who might be reading this… here, are my humble suggestions.  First, try out some of the blogs noted and start dabbling or diving in.  Second, practice Courage and Honesty in doing so.  Third, understand that the goal and eventual reality is that you will come to a simple understanding and that is that knowing who you are is right under your nose around about where your heart is found.

In one of my blogs, I suggest that the stars are the Soul, the captain who sets course by the stars is the heart, and the navigator/helmsman is the mind who figures out the way there.  The ship itself is the body.  Understand that and let your soul be your guide, your heart make your best decisions, your mind figure the way, and your best body carry you there.

That is this simple man‘s plan.  Everything else is settling.  To Hell with that.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green, aka The Unity Guy

Every Day is Judgement Day

Last week, I wrote on Pulling Back the Bow.  In it, I wrote that:

  • Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art and his thoughts on resistance come to mind.  The closer we get to moving, the greater the resistance, not unlike a bow.  I am there.  And now I need most to pull back on that bow of health.  It will support all of the others.”

This week, I wrote on Facebook…

  • As I collapse on the bed… getting through a second very busy day while living with these lungs right now… a totally unrelated but somehow related thought occurs to me on judgement … of all things.  There are two ways to think of judgement.  The first is about making good and sound decisions for our own lives.  The second is about looking at other people’s lives, thinking we somehow know them or know better, and judging them on their actions.  The former is wisdom.  The latter is ignorance by it’s true definition.  Live the former.  Let go the latter.  As I crash here, I realize no one knows my life and I know no one else’s. My responsibility is to live as best I can … and not judging others. My responsibility is executed by practicing sound judgement in my own decisions.  No idea why that popped into my head and heart but I am glad it did.

Judgement is making sound decisions, and I am making them.  As leaders, educators, entrepreneurs and livers of life… as students, mentors and more… good and sound daily judgement matters.  That requires wisdom and even sacrifice.

Practice that kind of judgement.  I am.  It is mine all mine.  🙂

Make every day, Judgement Day.

Seems like a Van Hagar kind of day, lol.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green, aka The Unity Guy

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