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character

Our Own Script

Last week, I shared on Apathy, Fear and Responsibility, somewhat unknowingly ahead of considerable developments on the COVID-19 front. Yesterday, I posted this on doing and achieving through this time in which we find ourselves.

All of that is to say that I am starting my own journey of self isolation and homeworking, and thought to do daily posts of motivation, music, memes and more that will can possibly educate and entertain and engage. It will incorporate my regular LinkedIN posts… and these weekly blogs, plus more. It will be a place to find resources and recharge, for me and us all, should you choose to engage.

For now, here are several legit resources:

Here is another great resource, a classic from Dale Carnegie on How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, an all time fave of mine. Here is classic audio on it. Here is a summary. And a summary audio/video. And, here you can purchase it.

Oh… and here is my new fave album by Andy Grammer, listening to now. 🙂

I am treating these days like the writing of a movie script; a heroic one. Join me in creating your own. We got this. This is Day One.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

A New Saga Begins

Last week, we clued up the Benny and Jarry Blog run (at least for now). We posted on Love and Peace Out. It has been an enjoyable run with Jenny and she will be contributing to The broadCAST going forward. I look forward to her insights. Thank you Jenny. <3

And Now

That being said, and after my recent birthday, I have been reflecting on the path forward for this hombre. Of late, I have blogged on LinkedIn on Purpose and Story… on Love and Metaphor and Candor and owning, expressing and bringing it.

Most recently, I posted on rolling the dice and how good do you want it and wishes no more… finishing off these last couple of days with initial thoughts on creative excellence and premise, promise and precipice.

All of that is to say that (a) my blogging is somewhat randomly inspired by thoughts at a given moment and (b) when I look back upon posts, I am not sure how “random” they actually are.

These last posts are speaking to me of something of a birthday hangover in the best of ways. They are speaking to me of “Now What?“. Now that I have reached this arbitrary number of 60, not having a clue what that even freakin’ remotely means, what is my Soul screaming to me in a whisper?

A New Saga

I looooooooove this song. Truly. And that word, Saga…. love it too. For me, a new saga unfolds. More than a new chapter. A new story. The educator and entrepreneur in me knows it. The speaker, trainer, facilitator and coach knows it. The singer, dancer, writer and cartoonist knows it. The very amateur boxer and archer knows it. The boy, guy and man does too.

Silos to Synergy

This next saga will be less about silos and more about synergy. It will be less about small and more about big; not in some grandiose way, but in a way where ideas are more freely and even wisely manifested… all centering on my deep belief in and passion for character leadership and unity building.

It will mean working with people who are world embracing and noble hearted. It will mean honoring the spirit of Professor Hattenauer.

And JFK.

It will mean choosing my projects and people and life to align ever more joyfully and powerfully with who I am. It will mean long held and even promised books are coming; a comic strip too. It will mean new forays into song and dance. It will mean “firing everything”.

“Everything requires everything” were words that came in answer to a deep prayer at my sister’s graveside several years back. Everything my Soul desires requires everything I am… every bit of knowledge, skill, ability, character and more.

My point to you, and for now, is “What is the everything you seek and what is the everything you can bring to it?” Your best life is defined by you, but it requires all of you… not pieces.

Be you. Live your life.

I will.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry

Developing Character Leadership

The Character of Leadership

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Love and Peace Out

This blog is changing and returning to its roots. Jenny will be remaining as a contributor to The broadCAST but this will be her last post right here; at least for now. It has been a cool ride and I am looking forward to Jenny’s future contributions. For now…

Jenny says…

First, I invite you to read my last post… and continuing on that last thought…

As Tim McGraw once said “When those dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you, When the work you put in is realized, let yourself feel the pride but always stay humble and kind”  

In these lyrics I think of how much we need to put that work into our own selves to see what we are worth. But in the moments that we do figure that out, we still need to be genuine, humble and kind. If not, I feel that we do a disservice to not only ourselves, but to the ones that truly love us the way that we are meant to be loved. We are put on this earth to love. Love is in us to give. It is an emotion and virtue that we are supposed to feel so deeply, that we exude it through our very existence. If only we loved as deeply as we were born to love. We would feel less anger, resentment and fear. There would be more understanding, compassion, kindness and respect. We have created this world of existence, and of fear. We are destroying this ability within our world to feel what Nicholas Sparks writes of. I know, I know, Sappy love stories may not be real to us. But guess what? They are, it is okay to be a hopeless romantic. It is more than okay to not accept or allow anything less in our own lives. Whether it be ourselves loving ourselves, or someone that we welcome into our lives to love us the way that, damn it, we so rightfully deserve to be loved.  

Now while, reading back into this blog, I see how many times I have said deserve, accept, allow, experience, and appreciate. I have repeated these words in a multitude. Truly that is what it is. We need to feel these certain things, in order to completely feel what the universe has prepared or us.  

I hope that somehow this has allowed you to see what you need to do to welcome all of this beauty into your life. In my recent years, I have loved myself more than I ever thought possible. I have accepted myself fully. In these years I have still met people and opened my heart, to only be disappointed and not completely loved as I should be. Now, as my final word of this blog, I have finally met the person that has been longing for all I have been longing for. I am loved the way I love him, he loves my boy and all of the other beautiful yet trivial things in my life. He is the Nicholas Sparks beginning and end to my story. And without a shadow of a doubt, he is the person that I have read about and have ached for. That being said, he didn’t come without lessons, or sadness and disappointment. He came after a whole pile of self-loathing and shit self-esteem. But he has arrived. He is here. And in turn I am loved the way that I deserve to be loved. I am loved the way that I love him, the way that I have learnt to love myself.  

I am love, he is love, and all of you my beauties are love!!!! 

See you in The broadCAST world!

Barry says…

First, gonna miss ya Jenny. 🙂 That being said, I simply offer this on Love this month. As my birthday approaches (tomorrow), I have been reflecting on what I reference as Dominion, Candor and Wholeheartedness. I truly invite you to read that post. For me, it speaks ultimately of Love. To love our lives, ourselves and others, we need to get clear on what is most important to us. That requires some reflection and courageous honesty at times. It is an investment in love for our Soul… to get such clarity and then express it, wholeheartedly. Yes, I invite you to read that post. More importantly, I invite you to wor4k through it. I have, and I am entering my birthday with a deepened clarity for what I love and want most in my life.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Love the Love

Simply put, we continue on LOVE. This is that month, and we choose to explore this little and big thing called Love.

Jenny says…

In last week’s post and in The broadCAST, I recently wrote…

Hello my beautiful people!!! Long time no chat. I want to pop into your world to speak on something that I so passionately believe in. That I so passionately have yearned and ached for. 

Love… What can I say about love? This month we are talking a little more about how love makes us feel, how love makes us explore certain parts of us that we don’t normally tend to nurture or appreciate the way we do when experiencing said love.

My heart is so all consumed with love, that this piece seems to speak louder and clearer than it has in the past. That being said, I have loved. I have loved beyond the shadow of a doubt. My son being the biggest love I have ever known.

But in the more recent years I have felt love like I never knew possible. I have experienced love that I have ached and yearned for. And as you all know, I have not always been in a place to receive it, but I have always been in a place to naturally give it. It is what I am meant to do. It is the biggest piece of me as a whole. I love, and I love hard. But I have come to realize that without being in a healthy place ourselves, we cannot fully receive what we are meant to receive. This is where my life story and all that I have journeyed through comes in to play so intensely. I have ventured to a place of acceptance of love and self-love like I have never received in my life up until now. Here begins my story into love and the all-powerful acceptance and realization that it is.  

These past 6 months have been a learning curve in my life. It has been one of failure and success. But mainly success. I have been in a place of knowing who I am, loving who I am, and allowing others to love me as much as I deserve to be loved. It has been intense, sad, humorous, appreciative, random and in the end, it has been all of the things I have so longed and ached for. It has been all answered prayers, it has been all the wishes that I made, with all the pennies in the wishing well repaid, it has been everything returned to me in whole, if not more. It is life and all that life is about. So, that being said, there is a fear within us that we allow to consume us, allow to make us feel defeated. It has been the power that has overcome and crippled us in the unknown. The realm of uncertainty. It has brought us to our knees and made us feel powerless. What we have failed to understand is that, when the time is right, we see all the beauty that is before us. We accept and honor it in ways when we are mentally capable of just that.  

I am assuming we all know of the person that loves with no bounds, and never gets it return? Well, let me tell you. That was me. To no fault. I loved (or at least I thought I knew what love was). I never received it back to the level I was giving it. I actually got treatment that I would wish on no one. But that was the problem at hand. I NEVER loved me. I NEVER seen what I was worth or what I deserved to have. Until the more recent years. Now I see. Now I know what love is at its highest form. As a mother, a friend, and a partner. I will tell you my little secret as to how and why I learnt how to allow and accept this undeniable love into my life. Maybe then you can start to allow it into yours in ways that you have not yet experienced. I hope that somehow you can respect and love yourself enough so that anyone that enters your life, or your circle can see what you are worth and the standards that you have set in place in your own desires. For who you are and what you want is not something you should shift and alter based on someone else’s wants or needs. It is about you my lovely’s. ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!!!  

Today, I offer…

This is the start of what it is to feel love like you have yet to feel. This is what it is to experience all that life and love has to offer. I could not disagree more with someone completing you. I have said it often these past few years, on how love is within us. It is not something that is handed over. It is built up internally. We either have it or we don’t. Some of us are born with it. Some of us work our entire lives to achieve this level of love with ourselves and others. It is a natural thing to beat ourselves up over what we believe that we truly deserve. It is okay for us to be humble and kind. As Tim McGraw once said “When those dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you, When the work you put in is realized, let yourself feel the pride but always stay humble and kind”.

Stay with me. Until next week…

Barry says…

Love and purpose.

They are connected.

Of late I have been writing on both in The broadCAST and in Deeper, on Purpose … and Your Purpose, Your Story.

Purposefulness is meaning, and love in action.

Last week, I wrote on a love and respect for ourselves. This week, I suggest another love, for the world.

I contend that, as we see purpose, we better understand love.

And sometimes, it is about connecting the dots.

All I have to say for now, but in those links and posts there are some things of value to ponder, I suggest.

In the meantime, I wholeheartedly wish you a wonderful Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

However you honor it.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Change Requires Change

Last week, we shared on making change. We invite you to have a read. We now continue on the theme of change this week.

Jenny says…

Picking up where I left offer in making change and The broadCAST, as individuals there is this power of change for the better; this strength within us to be able to conjure up the unthinkable.

Some may look at us and think, “boy that is far-fetched”, or “she must be crazy to think that is possible”. Who is to say really? Do you think for a second that the life you have dreamed of living isn’t realistic? Well, let me let you in on a little secret… it damn well is.

As you all know, and I feel I have shared openly, I have been on a journey of self-awareness, self-love and self-respect. I have taken my years of not knowing certain things about myself…. and, as silly as it may sound, I didn’t realize how much control I actually had over my own life, and how I could alter my life by making such minimal changes.

I have quickly seen that, in the time I began to be aware of my surroundings and the little choices I decided to make differently than I normally would have in the past, things began to change in the most beautiful of ways. It was like a full-on metamorphosis. I was drawing these beautiful energies into my space. If it wasn’t pure my life kicked it out.

These changes that were taking place were subtle at times, but subconsciously I was beginning to make changes throughout every aspect of my life. I began to speak highly about myself. I began to surround myself with people that I admired or that I felt I wish I could be more like. I wanted to be in a room filled with smart people. I wanted to feel like I could learn something from the ones I connected with.

Over the years, there were many new beginnings and in the meantime some things had to end. They fizzled away because my energy was now so positive that either the new beginnings fed my spirit and soul, or they had to go. I was finding myself more aware of how things filled or depleted me. I was mindful of the choices that I made because of this new-found awareness and self-realization. It was a breath of fresh air, but at the same time kind of scary.

I got more to follow on that…

Barry says…

Have a read on this on initiating. Change requires change. And change requires Initiative. Such requires us to be mindful of our surroundings and the needs and our capacity to respond. Initiative is grounded in the practice of Mindfulness, Assertiveness, Resourcefulness and Helpfulness.

It is also grounded in Responsibility; our ability to respond… our taking ownership. Read this on Peacefulness and the importance of taking honest ownership. I find myself reminding myself… that I have but one life of which I know. How precious is that? To assume, consciously or unconsciously, that I have “all the time in the world” is a lie. I do not. Our lives in this world are finite. That resource is limited. How many freakin’ reminders do we need of that? Our lives are precious commodities. Going through the motions, with little regard to the life our Soul calls us towards, is a true waste. That does not imply some crazy sense of drive or hustle. It does imply flow. And flow, requires change. It requires a new approach to living. It is called being. A wolf gets better and better at being a wolf, by being a wolf. It learns as it goes, but it’s intention is to be a wolf.

Change does not require us so much to change who we are as it requires us more and more to be who we are; and the world can perceive that to be us changing. But, it is more about us shedding our skin… and making the necessary sacrifices.

I, too, have more to come. For now, consider what you truly want… and what you are allowing to occupy your life that is standing in its way.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The End of Empathy?

Last week, we continued our exploration of Empathy with Empathy and Detachment. Before that, we shared on The First Empathy. Before that, we looked at The Road to Empathy. This week, we finish our exploration.

Jenny says…

I am a strong believer in the fact that we are what we eat. It goes the same for what we believe. We are the vessel that carries all morals and values that we believe in. We demonstrate said beliefs through the way that we treat people. We show people who we are by acting a certain way. By loving hard, or not loving at all. We can be known as a light source, or someone that sucks the energy from the light source. We all have the ability to reign in our emotional reactions. If someone decided to be hurtful towards us, rather than lashing out and reacting in a negative way, would it not be better to look at the light sucker and say “I am really sorry that you are hurting so much that you feel the need to hurt others” or “I am sorry that you feel that way”. Why should we give in any more of our precious energy? When we allow our energy to be depleted, we soak in a little negative. We begin to hate ourselves a little more, we plant seeds in our mind that what these people are saying to us is true. Yet it is not. Not close. We are all worth the beauty that the world has to offer. No one should ever be allowed to take that from us.  

I explained to my son the night that we had dealt with this issue, that we are all like candles. People that don’t have the skills to know how to treat one another are like a dark cloud that blows wind around us. We as the candle can either allow our flame to be blown out, or we can shelter and protect it. That way our flames burns bright and strong.  

I will forever remind all of you, each and every day, of how worthy that you are to have that bright, beautiful flame burning. Do not allow anyone to blow that flame out. Keep burning brightly. Be that light that the world so desperately needs.  

Barry says…

Empathy is an interesting virtue. This has been a very interesting deeper dive for me; understanding its power to feel my own feelings and to cut others the slack needed, while I do so.

It is a power that is available to us all, in and through practice. It is important to develop it. It allows us to effectively discern situations by feeling for ourselves and others. With it, we can better determine whether we had a role in someone’s hurt or not. Empathy with Discipline and Discernment can help us know the difference in guilt and shame. Guilt says “I made a mistake”. Shames says “I am a mistake”. If I hurt you, Empathy will allow me to see my guilt and address the situation. Empathy, with Discipline and Discernment, will also allow me to recognize when I am shaming myself or another.

Empathy is not simply “feeling”. It is feeling for another. As I have noted before, that “other” can be ourselves. But Empathy is powerful in how we understand our interconnection with and impact upon others. Empathy is not weak. Nor, is it a special talent only for some. It is a power that we can and must develop in order to lead healthier, better connected lives within and with others. It can powerfully guide our best responses. It can constructively impact our own endurance. It demands Courage and Honesty; but it is a worthy investment.

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Is this the end of our exploration of Empathy? Probably not. We continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  For December, we will be taking a bit of a break but sharing some thoughts along the way. We certainly will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Stay with us.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The First Empathy

Last week, we started in on an exploration of Empathy. This week, we continue. First, we suggest the read of last week’s post. Second, this post. Third, look forward to the next broadCAST.

Jenny says…

Let me tell you a little bit about my boy. He is so kind and loving. He has always been the most soft-hearted empathetic little boy. He loves hard, much like his Mama. He feels others pain and shows caring gestures in moments of people’s sadness or hurt. I am so unbelievably proud of the little man that he is growing into. So, when I see him behave in this way, I question what it is that caused his reaction. My heart hurts for people in these moments of confusion and uncertainty.  

So, I decided to sit with him and practice what I recently studied in my program. I tried to get his perspective of what had happened. In exploring today’s events with him, I discovered that there is this one little boy in his class that has been bullying him on a regular basis. This has been causing my son to have somatic issues. He has been anxious in the mornings before school, at times calls home after throwing up and uses pretty much any excuse in the book to leave. This is heart-breaking as a parent. Heart-breaking in general to be truthful. It isn’t only sad that my child is hurting, it is also sad that we really don’t know what the child doing the hurting is going through. In the program that I am in, it makes us look at things in a different light. I realize that my son deserves to be comfortable in class. He should never feel unsafe or scared. Sadly, that is not the world we live in. We live in a world where people aren’t always given the skills needed to be kind to one another without judgement or anger. So, as his mother I need to prepare him for the unknown. Prepare him to love the ones that don’t have it programmed in them to be empathetic and loving. You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.  

… and that is where my thoughts are processing. I will have more to come in the next broadCAST.

Barry says…

“You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.” No truer words, Jenny; and kind of where my head and heart are now. In my first post on Empathy, I suggested that “Empathy is practiced when we are increasingly able to put ourselves in the shoes of another. It is diminished through apathy and distance. It is increased by caring and closeness. Dehumanization is one of the forces and sources advancing meanness and cruelty. The humanization of the world advances us in Empathy.”

I think the place to start is within. Empathy can constructively impact our Endurance. As I have noted before, “As leaders, educators, entrepreneurs and anyone… as we remember the feelings of our own moments of seeming vanquish and victory alike, we grow our practice of Empathy for ourselves and others. From that, we are stronger, more resilient and understanding.”

For me, as I put myself in the shoes of my former selves through life, and re-feel what trials and triumphs I have experienced (knowing I am still here and thriving), I gain a better sense of my strength and capacity. Track records matter, and feeling what it took to get through in the past can strengthen us for the future.

… and that is where my head and heart are today, on Empathy. More to come in the broadCAST indeed.

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  Together, and through November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The Road to Empathy

For the past two months, Jenny and I have blogged on fear and love. This month, we blog on Empathy. We recommend all the reads and reflection to date, and we continue the deeper dive now… on Empathy.

Jenny says…

Hello all you incredibly wonderful humans!  

This month will be the one I chat about a topic that hits close to home, which I am sure it will for many of you. It is about how bullying behaviors affect the empath child, and even the empath adult. We have no shortage to talk about here. None sadly. The world is full of empaths, and the ones that have been taught that it is normal to speak to someone with hatred or lack of kindness. Whether or not it is pre-meditated, or simply done subconsciously, it is there, and it remains to be a problem within society.   

My son came home last week sad and a little embarrassed because of his reactive behavior. His teacher had sent me an email and I quickly responded. We had spoken on the phone about what she had known about the situation. As we always know there are 3 sides to the story. I needed to hear my boy’s side. He had been in class and got upset (the reason was unknown at this point) and he took some pencils and broke them on the floor. As his mother, I had to ask him questions as to why this was his chosen behavior. As a Child and Youth care student and almost graduate, I delved into exploring this further with him. What was the trigger for his anger? Why was he sad? 

Stay tuned, for this unfolding in the upcoming broadCAST.

Barry says…

This is such a powerful topic and one we need to talk more about indeed. For me, Empathy is a virtue available to all. While some are more inclined to feel, Empathy is something, a strength of character, a virtue… that can be learned and practiced.

Bullying is a crucible to examine Empathy. As someone who was bullied, observed it, and even a few times in my life, consciously or unconsciously did it… I am reminded that bullying is a learned behaviour. Children are not born with it. They learn by the examples set; and this world has plenty of examples of bullying. It needs more examples of the strength we know as Empathy.

Empathy is practiced when we are increasingly able to put ourselves in the shoes of another. It is diminished through apathy and distance. It is increased by caring and closeness. Dehumanization is one of the forces and sources advancing meanness and cruelty. The humanization of the world advances us in Empathy. Simply and for now, consider this video on Empathy.

I am looking forward to this road. We all need to explore it.

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  Together, and into November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Fear: The End?

Over this month, we have looked at fear.  In our last post, we dug in on Fear and the Track Record.  Today, we bring it all together with an add.

Jenny says…

To catch you and me up to date, here is what I have shared this month.

This month I will speak on fear and how we allow it to consume and control us.  Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous likely to cause pain, or a threat. It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.
When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey’s talk show comes to mind. He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?

It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.

When we think of fear, we think of the negative aspect of it. What we don’t always realize is there are actual benefits to feeling fear. Fear guides our fight and flight responses. It also heightens our senses while keeping us alert and better prepared. When our brain kicks in to fight or flight our body is pumped full of Cortisol (the stress hormone). When we are finding ourselves flushed with stress or fear our adrenaline kicks in. Adrenaline increases our heart rate, but also gives us a burst of energy and focuses our attention on the danger at hand. During this fearful or stressful state, your body is also supplying norepinephrine, which is much like arousal. It helps us become more aware, alert, awake and focused. We become more responsive. And it pumps blood flow to the areas that are the most essential during this time, so that we can flee the stressful situation.

I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.

So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was! Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?”. Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.

Today, OCTOBER 30, I offer…

Maybe instead of running when we feel this undeniable pull in a certain direction, we should instead explore this path. Maybe this is the path that we were meant to travel. Maybe it is something you never in a million years thought that you would do, or even be interested in doing. Now let me be clear, I am talking healthy changes, healthy exploration and experiences. I am not saying to jump into a random relationship or take a job because you have a fear of the unknown. I am saying listen to your body cues. Feel that surge of energy when the cortisol flushes through you. Use that as your driving force to challenge or overcome the obstacle that you are facing.

Barry says…

… and I intend to; explore. Thanks for that reminder Jenny.  These past few years, especially, since my TIA/stroke in 2015, I have felt something of a gnawing in my Soul.  Indeed, over the last year or so in particular, I have taken on a strategic and almost purposefully meandering journey of reflection and re-engineering … almost.  No, not almost, indeed and in deed.

This week, that kind of culminated in a post called What Matters Most?  In that, I shared on making and leaving your M.A.R.K. and stating your C.A.S.E..  I highly recommend the read if I do say so myself; and I do.

With that in mind, my deepest desire is not for riches nor fame, but service and impact.  I seek only to work with those I can truly help.  They are identified in that blog, where I focus it down to:

  • I love, honor and have a blast helping global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world. I speak, teach, coach, facilitate, consult, write, cartoon, sing, dance, vlog, blog, pod and create on it.

How does this relate to fear?  I am about to go outside my ever increased (over the years) box.  I have had moments in my life where I was called upon, first resisted, and then made my jump… and those moments served in (a) teaching me my best relationship with fear, (b) showing me new understandings of capacity, and (c) offering new vistas and roads.  This moment is no different.

In doing so, it might mean some kind of change of scenery; not necessarily geographically.  It might mean new circles.  It will mean new circles.  That does not mean leaving my teaching, nor my work with Epic Engage™.  That is the core and heart to this growth.  I am an educator and entrepreneur who simply wants to love, honor and have a blast helping those global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world.  It does mean digging deeper on a global focus.

Since childhood, I have seen myself as “Terran”, and my neighbourhood was Newfoundland and Labrador.  I seek to primarily travel and work and walk with those that get that.  That is not an elitist view because such a vision is open and accessible to anyone.  It does mean that it is time for me to put on those global glasses and find those whose full heart is in it.  I have no desire to retreat into local life.  I love where I live, and will always call it my “hood”.  But my vision is world embracing, and embracing is more than “accepting”.  It requires a Wholeheartedness that says there is no “Plan B”.  It requires such a Wholeheartedness that many might not share.  That is OK.  A part of me wants to ride with everyone.  A bigger part of me knows that we best ride with those who want to ride together.

My life and friendships and work will not change much.  But, there will be a fundamental change in seeing my life as “global”. As noted, I care not for riches, nor fame.  Still, this “boy inside the man” has always sought service and impact that has no freakin’ borders and serves those who have the capacity and deep desire for the “betterment of the world”.

Some will not be on board, and that scares a part of me.  But, that is good. Fear is a friend that causes us to question what it is we fear.  Some fears tell us that we need to protect ourselves and that is a good thing.  Some fears say “I dare you“.  That is a good thing too.

For the next two months, I am choosing to run silent and deep.  I will continue posting daily on my platforms of Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter, thrice daily; morning, noon and night.  Three times daily with posts that I feel might add to the character of life.

That being said, I will be laying low otherwise..  I will be focusing on my teaching, Epic Engage™, my university courses and my health.  I will not be out and about.  There may be an event or two.  There will be a few coffees and evenings with friends.  But, I am drawing back, taking a deeper dive into those “global” eyes.  I will be better understanding that I am a world citizen; an educator and entrepreneur without borders, if you will.

Will drawing back and doing so be scary?  Yup.  Yip. Uh-huh.  It will mean questioning and changing my life in ways I have gotten used to for now seemingly too long.  I love my life, and am grateful for it; but it is time to change it.

So, and again, let me ask you.

  • What matters most to you? What cause or work or progress or service matters most to you? Deeply. Maybe consider those global goals to jog some thought.
  • How do you imagine yourself now, or in the future, helping advance on it… moving the needle on it?
  • Who do you imagine yourself best serving in doing so?
  • What talents, capacities and services do you bring to move that needle?
  • How will you be known with consistency, that is aligned with you, simple and enjoyable?

Dare yourself.  Your fear might be your friend.  Fear is never the end… it is the beginning; of discovery.  Spend some time with you.  Reflect.  Re-engineer.  Face the fear and feed the fire.  I will.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear has been our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends and colleagues do that.  As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.  We will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

 

 

Fear and the Track Record

In our last post, we looked at Using Fear.  So, to date, we have taken on this topic in:

It has been an interesting journey thus far, and we recommend you go back and read the posts.  Now, this week, our second last on the topic (for now anyway)…

Jenny says…

So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was!

Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?” Here is a cool version of that message.

Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.

I will have some closing thoughts next week.

Barry says…

I can relate to what Jenny is saying.  Over the years, I have had moments where I thought that the door had closed in so many ways, only to find a new opening.  My transitions have been stepping stones though they might not have felt such at the time; which brings me to my point this week.

Throughout my life and career, I have been reminded of the importance of a track record.  If you are still here in this world and life, you have made it through so many things.  Most of the time, we focus on what we went through and not the fact that we got through.  The latter is more important than the former.  Understanding that we got through is a teacher; of character and confidence.  It becomes so when we take real stock of what it took to get through.  These times become teachers when we consciously alert ourselves to the strengths and capacities they took to get through.

In my years in leadership training and development, I have seen this countless times.  As we go through a challenge and come out the other end, we know that it took Courage and the result is added Confidence.  Practice does not make perfect.  It makes confident; in the healthiest of ways.

As I look upon my life thus far from childhood and youth, through a career in business and education, I see those moments that tested my Courage.  A test is not intended to cause failure but to provide an opportunity to pass.  The more tests we pass, the greater our true Confidence.  It does not happen without challenge.  From the morbidly shy kid to the guy who would passionately look forward to speaking with 20,000 people, I see the value of my fear and Courage over the years.  As a guy who has intention to move focus to an ever increasing global body of work and service, there will be more challenges.  I know that.  Knowing that does not make it easier.  It is not supposed to be.  But, knowing from whence I came, I know my capacity to grow… and I ain’t done!

Look at your life and the defining moments.  Track your timeline of trial to triumph. If you want a copy of the timeline worksheet, contact me via LinkedIn.  See your tests as opportunities to pass.  Learn from them.  I have some biggies coming and will share in my next and last post next week.  It’s about to get heavy … and cool.

Wish me pain.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear continues to be our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.

As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.

Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

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