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Dare to Care

The exploration of character and unity drives my Soul. Two of my favourite Sacred Writings are…

  • “The earth is but one country, and mankind its citizens.”
  • “The betterment of the world can be accomplished through pure and goodly deeds, through commendable and seemly conduct.”

R4/D2 Continues

R4/D2 was a bit of a starting place, again. In that post last week, I shared on real, raw, right, results, Dominion and Daring. I humbly suggest the read, as I am going back to reread… myself.

Since last week, the world continues to foment and torment. I am a man of Optimism, and I believe that change is coming, and in ways we might not even expect. And, it can be hard or easy. Our choice. But, it is coming… short and long term.

That said, my own personal change is afoot… with R4/D2 in heart and mind. The walking continues. So does the blogging and more. I am continuing my reading of The Realm Between. I am working through my own new path.

broadCAST Live is growing. Justice Lead too. A new show called Talk Reel with Stephanie Staples coming soon. Rise Above#hUmaNITY … and more.

T.U.G.tv is coming.

I say none of this to impress, nor even impress upon. I am simply learning as I go. I say this because my Soul is stirring. It is trying to tell me something. And, I am listening.

As I head into this upcoming weekend, I am leaning towards taking my work and business … and somewhat spinning it all on its head. I am teaching online these days as I walk through my now 82 days of isolation. I am exploring new capacities in doing so. But, my work with Epic Engage is getting more than a re-look. I am examining the very foundation of what I do with it. Indeed, this month, it undergoes a Soulful re-engineering to meet the real, raw, right and results… and to be grounded in Dominion

and Daring.

In so doing, I dare to care, for myself and my world. We live in this wold. Our Souls may not be of it, but we are in it. For me, I am ever closer, creeping closer to that notion and what it looks like for me.

For you, what would it look like to own who you are, be it, do it and live it? What would it look like to bring you to the world or your corner of it?

Do that.

I will.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The Wall and the Eye

Transparency alert. I am a Baha’i. That is my core. I am working on it. And in these days, I can do and be nothing less. There are no easy answers; only great questions and ponderings.

In BE, at Home, last week, I shared that “I am seeing this (personal isolation and lock down) as an opportunity to go inward”. I would suggest that this past week has seen a duality, inward and outward. Since that time of my last post here, I have posted on LinkedIn, thoughts on:

I have been going online (Facebook) with “socials” with friends who just show up. That, in part, satiates the massive extrovert in me. Prayerful moments and down time satiate the massive introvert in me.

Yes, I am a man of both. Bottom line is I am going inward and outward. I have always been an “and” person… the cake and the eating it. 🙂

That being said, this day, and amidst teaching online, grading, writing and doing nothing, something is missing. A wall has been hit. I can feel it. Palpably so. Maybe it simply needs a strategic drive with my music, insular and independent. Quite possibly. But, it also is speaking to me of something else. My restless spirit, my Soul, is whispering in a scream, and I need to listen. Now. Today.

Soul Sis Stuff

My “soul sis” posted this the other day, and I found it both challenging and freeing somehow.

It speaks to me of going within in order to strengthen without.

It speaks to me that the ultimate battle is within.

The eye of the tornado. Amanda sings of it.

Then, my soul sis posted this.

She has a way of doing that. 🙂

“As ye have faith, so shall your powers and blessings be.”

This is the balance.

Faith grounds itself in the eye of the tornado. Faith does not require preconditions. It is why it is Faith.

It is not blind. It sees beyond. Beyond this matrix.

It sees, with an inner eye.

The Inner Eye

I am pondering these words, this day…

Man has two powers, and his development two aspects. One power is connected with the material world and by it he is capable of material advancement. The other power is spiritual and through its development his inner, potential nature is awakened. These powers are like two wings. Both must be developed, for flight is impossible with one wing. — Abdu’l-Bahá

and…

Man has also spiritual powers: imagination, which conceives things; thought, which reflects upon realities; comprehension, which comprehends realities, memory, which retains whatever man imagines, thinks, and comprehends. The intermediary between the five outward powers and the inward powers, is the sense which they possess in common, that is to say, the sense which acts between the outer and inner powers, conveys to the inward powers whatever the outer powers discern. It is termed the common faculty, because it communicates between the outward and inward powers, and thus is common to the outward and inward powers. For instance, sight is one of the outer powers; it sees and perceives this flower, and conveys this perception to the inner power — the common faculty — which transmits this perception to the power of imagination, which in its turn conceives and forms this image and transmits it to the power of thought; the power of thought reflects, and having grasped the reality, conveys it to the power of comprehension; the comprehension, when it has comprehended it, delivers the image of the object perceived to the memory, and the memory keeps it in its repository. The outward powers are five: the power of sight, of hearing, of taste, of smell, and of feeling. The inner powers are also five: the common faculty, and the powers of imagination, thought, comprehension, and memory. — Abdu’l-Bahá

and

…it is my hope that thine inner eye may be opened wide, so that unto thee the very core of the divine mysteries may be disclosed. — Abdu’l-Bahá

THE ROAD AHEAD

It is my hope too. I may take that drive.

Nay, I will.

My spirit is calling.

That is one immediate road. But amidst hitting this wall, I am understanding the need to see through it… and in so doing, smash it. I cannot as yet; see through it, that is. We live in a world with much uncertainty. We always have. These days, it is compounded by a truly global nature. My Faith tells me we are going to be OK. Humanity will be OK. There may be work to do. Indeed, there will be. But maybe just maybe, the first and decisive battle is within. To be of joy and service to the world… to live these words of readiness (above) amidst the days in which we live.

Today, I am hitting a wall. Today, I explore the power to dream… of a sound mind… and heart. This wall will be beaten down.

Real. Raw. Reflective. Relentless.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Climbing the Wall

Last week, I offered up on a new saga beginning. I wrote to the ideas of “silos to synergy” and “everything requires everything”.

This week, I find myself this morning on Day 4 of The Baha’i Fast. It is at this juncture that I often find what I call “the early wall”. The Fast is not about starvation. Indeed there are exceptions to fasting due to age, travel, heavy work, illness, pregnancy and so on. But, the Fast is more about the spirit. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá said fasting “is the cause of awakening man. The heart becomes tender and the spirituality of man increases. This is produced by the fact that man’s thoughts will be confined to the commemoration of God, and through this awakening and stimulation surely ideal advancements follow”.

The Early Wall

That all being said, at this “early wall’, I find myself challenged. So far, The Fast has seen and been less so; challenging, that is. But today, the body is reminded of the challenge.

I arose before Dawn to have my protein rich first meal and water that will last me through daylight, to break the fast at Sunset. (It is not lost on me that, to those unfamiliar with fasting, we need to remember that Ramadan and Lent were intended as fasts and the word breakfast means to break the fast of overnight, but I digress.) I did arise this morning, with my body feeling “let’s not this day”. And I found my spirit reminding me of that why that ‘Abdu’l-Bahá spoke of… awakening, tender heart, spirituality, commemoration, and advancement.

So, I will climb the wall, nay hurdle it. I will remember back to the new saga and “everything requires everything”. I will remind myself that my life is mine and that I am continually moving forward. Today, I will finish work on updates on the website and the work, moving from those silos to synergy. Today, I will focus my energies on building a new saga.

Yesterday, I got great news around health. Blood tests came back and the results were good and great. My “pre-diabetic” status is reversed. I am no longer such. My markers are all great. And, I continue on my health road to being in the best shape of my life by the Summer. Indeed, this week, I address some other health matters.

Also yesterday, I got new phones and a car (to be delivered Friday) yesterday. Through it all, I am building the new saga. There are challenges going on inside my head and heart, but I am working through them. Indeed, the only way through them is through them.

My Point

Consider these words of Bahá’u’lláh

There was once a lover who had sighed for long years in separation from his beloved, and wasted in the fire of remoteness. From the rule of love, his heart was empty of patience, and his body weary of his spirit; he reckoned life without her as a mockery, and time consumed him away. How many a day he found no rest in longing for her; how many a night the pain of her kept him from sleep; his body was worn to a sigh, his heart’s wound had turned him to a cry of sorrow. He had given a thousand lives for one taste of the cup of her presence, but it availed him not. The doctors knew no cure for him, and companions avoided his company; yea, physicians have no medicine for one sick of love, unless the favor of the beloved one deliver him. At last, the tree of his longing yielded the fruit of despair, and the fire of his hope fell to ashes. Then one night he could live no more, and he went out of his house and made for the marketplace. On a sudden, a watchman followed 14 after him. He broke into a run, with the watchman following; then other watchmen came together, and barred every passage to the weary one. And the wretched one cried from his heart, and ran here and there, and moaned to himself: “Surely this watchman is Izrá’íl, my angel of death, following so fast upon me; or he is a tyrant of men, seeking to harm me.” His feet carried him on, the one bleeding with the arrow of love, and his heart lamented. Then he came to a garden wall, and with untold pain he scaled it, for it proved very high; and forgetting his life, he threw himself down to the garden. And there he beheld his beloved with a lamp in her hand, searching for a ring she had lost. When the heart-surrendered lover looked on his ravishing love, he drew a great breath and raised up his hands in prayer, crying: “O God! Give Thou glory to the watchman, and riches and long life. For the watchman was Gabriel, guiding this poor one; or he was Isráfíl, bringing life to this wretched one!”

This story speaks to me. The watchmen are not our enemies. Our challenges are not our foes. They are moving us, to our best life and love, if we but listen, and trust. I need to keep listening, and to climb that wall.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry

broadCAST Live

Developing Character Leadership

The Character of Leadership

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Love Comes Around

Quite the January!!! Now, onwards. February is that “month of love” and we are back to it, this month. We first shared on love back in September. We then explored Fear in October, and Empathy in November… a year ending in December, and change in January. Now, we are back to Love, for a bit. Let’s dig in…

Jenny says…

Hello my beautiful people!!! I want to pop into your world to speak on something that I so passionately believe in. That I so passionately have yearned and ached for. 

Love… What can I say about love? This week (and month) we are talking a little more about how love makes us feel, how love makes us explore certain parts of us that we don’t normally tend to nurture or appreciate the way we do when experiencing said love. My heart is so all consumed with love, that this piece seems to speak louder and clearer than it has in the past.

That being said, I have loved. I have love beyond the shadow of a doubt. My son being the biggest love I have ever known. But in the more recent years I have felt love like I never knew possible. I have experienced love that I have ached and yearned for. And as you all know, I have not always been in a place to receive it, but I have always been in a place to naturally give it. It is what I am meant to do. It is the biggest piece of me as a whole. I love, and I love hard. But I have come to realize that without being in a healthy place ourselves, we cannot fully receive what we are meant to receive. This is where my life story and all that I have journeyed through comes into play so intensely. I have ventured to a place of acceptance of love and self-love like I have never received in my life up until now. Here begins my story into love and the all-powerful acceptance and realization that it is.  Over this month, I invite you to dive in with me.

Barry says…

Love. We have written on it before. But, it is a deep subject. It can be described as an emotion, an action and a virtue.

For now, and first, I suggest you read The Balance. I think it speaks to a deep love and respect for ourselves, at best.

I also suggest a read of The Leaducator for February 2020. It speaks to how we can see the world and the people in it, with a powerful, practical love.

This is a cool month for me. Super Bowl last Sunday (I am a huge football fan), Valentine’s Day, my birthday (a big one this year), Ayyam-i-Ha, and the NFL Combine. I love it! And, I look forward to deconstructing and reconstructing on love this month. Stay tuned. In the meantime, maybe have a read on Legacy, Change, Success and Confidence.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Fear: The End?

Over this month, we have looked at fear.  In our last post, we dug in on Fear and the Track Record.  Today, we bring it all together with an add.

Jenny says…

To catch you and me up to date, here is what I have shared this month.

This month I will speak on fear and how we allow it to consume and control us.  Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous likely to cause pain, or a threat. It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.
When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey’s talk show comes to mind. He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?

It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.

When we think of fear, we think of the negative aspect of it. What we don’t always realize is there are actual benefits to feeling fear. Fear guides our fight and flight responses. It also heightens our senses while keeping us alert and better prepared. When our brain kicks in to fight or flight our body is pumped full of Cortisol (the stress hormone). When we are finding ourselves flushed with stress or fear our adrenaline kicks in. Adrenaline increases our heart rate, but also gives us a burst of energy and focuses our attention on the danger at hand. During this fearful or stressful state, your body is also supplying norepinephrine, which is much like arousal. It helps us become more aware, alert, awake and focused. We become more responsive. And it pumps blood flow to the areas that are the most essential during this time, so that we can flee the stressful situation.

I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.

So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was! Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?”. Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.

Today, OCTOBER 30, I offer…

Maybe instead of running when we feel this undeniable pull in a certain direction, we should instead explore this path. Maybe this is the path that we were meant to travel. Maybe it is something you never in a million years thought that you would do, or even be interested in doing. Now let me be clear, I am talking healthy changes, healthy exploration and experiences. I am not saying to jump into a random relationship or take a job because you have a fear of the unknown. I am saying listen to your body cues. Feel that surge of energy when the cortisol flushes through you. Use that as your driving force to challenge or overcome the obstacle that you are facing.

Barry says…

… and I intend to; explore. Thanks for that reminder Jenny.  These past few years, especially, since my TIA/stroke in 2015, I have felt something of a gnawing in my Soul.  Indeed, over the last year or so in particular, I have taken on a strategic and almost purposefully meandering journey of reflection and re-engineering … almost.  No, not almost, indeed and in deed.

This week, that kind of culminated in a post called What Matters Most?  In that, I shared on making and leaving your M.A.R.K. and stating your C.A.S.E..  I highly recommend the read if I do say so myself; and I do.

With that in mind, my deepest desire is not for riches nor fame, but service and impact.  I seek only to work with those I can truly help.  They are identified in that blog, where I focus it down to:

  • I love, honor and have a blast helping global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world. I speak, teach, coach, facilitate, consult, write, cartoon, sing, dance, vlog, blog, pod and create on it.

How does this relate to fear?  I am about to go outside my ever increased (over the years) box.  I have had moments in my life where I was called upon, first resisted, and then made my jump… and those moments served in (a) teaching me my best relationship with fear, (b) showing me new understandings of capacity, and (c) offering new vistas and roads.  This moment is no different.

In doing so, it might mean some kind of change of scenery; not necessarily geographically.  It might mean new circles.  It will mean new circles.  That does not mean leaving my teaching, nor my work with Epic Engage™.  That is the core and heart to this growth.  I am an educator and entrepreneur who simply wants to love, honor and have a blast helping those global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world.  It does mean digging deeper on a global focus.

Since childhood, I have seen myself as “Terran”, and my neighbourhood was Newfoundland and Labrador.  I seek to primarily travel and work and walk with those that get that.  That is not an elitist view because such a vision is open and accessible to anyone.  It does mean that it is time for me to put on those global glasses and find those whose full heart is in it.  I have no desire to retreat into local life.  I love where I live, and will always call it my “hood”.  But my vision is world embracing, and embracing is more than “accepting”.  It requires a Wholeheartedness that says there is no “Plan B”.  It requires such a Wholeheartedness that many might not share.  That is OK.  A part of me wants to ride with everyone.  A bigger part of me knows that we best ride with those who want to ride together.

My life and friendships and work will not change much.  But, there will be a fundamental change in seeing my life as “global”. As noted, I care not for riches, nor fame.  Still, this “boy inside the man” has always sought service and impact that has no freakin’ borders and serves those who have the capacity and deep desire for the “betterment of the world”.

Some will not be on board, and that scares a part of me.  But, that is good. Fear is a friend that causes us to question what it is we fear.  Some fears tell us that we need to protect ourselves and that is a good thing.  Some fears say “I dare you“.  That is a good thing too.

For the next two months, I am choosing to run silent and deep.  I will continue posting daily on my platforms of Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter, thrice daily; morning, noon and night.  Three times daily with posts that I feel might add to the character of life.

That being said, I will be laying low otherwise..  I will be focusing on my teaching, Epic Engage™, my university courses and my health.  I will not be out and about.  There may be an event or two.  There will be a few coffees and evenings with friends.  But, I am drawing back, taking a deeper dive into those “global” eyes.  I will be better understanding that I am a world citizen; an educator and entrepreneur without borders, if you will.

Will drawing back and doing so be scary?  Yup.  Yip. Uh-huh.  It will mean questioning and changing my life in ways I have gotten used to for now seemingly too long.  I love my life, and am grateful for it; but it is time to change it.

So, and again, let me ask you.

  • What matters most to you? What cause or work or progress or service matters most to you? Deeply. Maybe consider those global goals to jog some thought.
  • How do you imagine yourself now, or in the future, helping advance on it… moving the needle on it?
  • Who do you imagine yourself best serving in doing so?
  • What talents, capacities and services do you bring to move that needle?
  • How will you be known with consistency, that is aligned with you, simple and enjoyable?

Dare yourself.  Your fear might be your friend.  Fear is never the end… it is the beginning; of discovery.  Spend some time with you.  Reflect.  Re-engineer.  Face the fear and feed the fire.  I will.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear has been our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends and colleagues do that.  As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.  We will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

 

 

Fear and the Track Record

In our last post, we looked at Using Fear.  So, to date, we have taken on this topic in:

It has been an interesting journey thus far, and we recommend you go back and read the posts.  Now, this week, our second last on the topic (for now anyway)…

Jenny says…

So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was!

Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?” Here is a cool version of that message.

Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.

I will have some closing thoughts next week.

Barry says…

I can relate to what Jenny is saying.  Over the years, I have had moments where I thought that the door had closed in so many ways, only to find a new opening.  My transitions have been stepping stones though they might not have felt such at the time; which brings me to my point this week.

Throughout my life and career, I have been reminded of the importance of a track record.  If you are still here in this world and life, you have made it through so many things.  Most of the time, we focus on what we went through and not the fact that we got through.  The latter is more important than the former.  Understanding that we got through is a teacher; of character and confidence.  It becomes so when we take real stock of what it took to get through.  These times become teachers when we consciously alert ourselves to the strengths and capacities they took to get through.

In my years in leadership training and development, I have seen this countless times.  As we go through a challenge and come out the other end, we know that it took Courage and the result is added Confidence.  Practice does not make perfect.  It makes confident; in the healthiest of ways.

As I look upon my life thus far from childhood and youth, through a career in business and education, I see those moments that tested my Courage.  A test is not intended to cause failure but to provide an opportunity to pass.  The more tests we pass, the greater our true Confidence.  It does not happen without challenge.  From the morbidly shy kid to the guy who would passionately look forward to speaking with 20,000 people, I see the value of my fear and Courage over the years.  As a guy who has intention to move focus to an ever increasing global body of work and service, there will be more challenges.  I know that.  Knowing that does not make it easier.  It is not supposed to be.  But, knowing from whence I came, I know my capacity to grow… and I ain’t done!

Look at your life and the defining moments.  Track your timeline of trial to triumph. If you want a copy of the timeline worksheet, contact me via LinkedIn.  See your tests as opportunities to pass.  Learn from them.  I have some biggies coming and will share in my next and last post next week.  It’s about to get heavy … and cool.

Wish me pain.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear continues to be our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.

As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.

Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Using Fear

This week, we continue our exploration of fear.

Jenny and I are digging deeper on this thing called fear, for ourselves and others.  We are going beyond the “face value” of this force we call fear.  This week, we question it’s value.

Jenny says…

I have shared three times on fear so far in:

I encourage you to go back and read for yourself.  In The broadCAST™, I finished by saying I had some questions.  I do, for us all.  And some thoughts.

I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.

Honestly, I continue to think on these questions and thoughts and will no doubt share more next week.  For now, I am asking that you think about it.

Barry says…

Jenny, I find this useful and am pondering same.  What if fear was a tough coach, believing in us but pushing us?  What if fear desired to be tamed or conquered?  In my post in The broadCAST™, I suggested “that fear is too often lumped into one big bowl. Truthfully, there is irrational and rational fear. Fear has its benefits. It can keep us safe in the face of rational fear. Irrational fear, on the other hand, can control us in ways we must resist.”

What if the irrational fears are truly here to help?  We know the rational fears are good for us; they protect us.  But, indeed, what if the irrational fears were intent on inviting us to tame them, to conquer them, to build confidence through the courage in facing them?  What if they are stepping stones to learning our greatest capacity?

Tomorrow, I have one of the most potentially far reaching talks I have ever given ( I will share more next time), but there are voices within that I have not heard in years. Voices that say, “Are you up to this?” and such.  I have been in the training and development field for 39 years, have delivered messages to 200,000+ people through 20,000+ contact hours, have coached 1500+ clients, and delivered to audiences as large as 4,000… and still that voice creeps in for tomorrow.  It questions me.  And I will answer to the best of my ability.  As a mentor once said to me, “Courage first, Confidence second”.  I am about to find another stepping stone.

Fear as Motivator

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear continues to be our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.

As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.

Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

Fear as Friend?

This week, we continue our exploration of fear.  Last week we posted on Introducing Fear.  This week, here … and in our upcoming broadCAST™ to be released Friday, October 11, ahead of Canadian Thanksgiving… we will continue that exploration. If you are wondering about The broadCAST™, check this out as we lead up to the October issue.  It is worth the time. Now, on to checking in on fear.

Jenny says…

First, I invite you to read our first foray into fear, and my opening thoughts.

Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?

It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.

In The broadCAST™ on Friday, I will share more on my thoughts  around what I consider to be the benefits of fear.

Barry says..

I love the notion of fear guiding us Jenny.  I offer up this story from Baha’u’llah.

  • There was once a lover who had sighed for long years in separation from his beloved, and wasted in the fire of remoteness. From the rule of love, his heart was empty of patience, and his body weary of his spirit; he reckoned life without her as a mockery, and time consumed him away. How many a day he found no rest in longing for her; how many a night the pain of her kept him from sleep; his body was worn to a sigh, his heart’s wound had turned him to a cry of sorrow. He had given a thousand lives for one taste of the cup of her presence, but it availed him not. The doctors knew no cure for him, and companions avoided his company; yea, physicians have no medicine for one sick of love, unless the favor of the beloved one deliver him. At last, the tree of his longing yielded the fruit of despair, and the fire of his hope fell to ashes. Then one night he could live no more, and he went out of his house and made for the marketplace. On a sudden, a watchman followed 14 after him. He broke into a run, with the watchman following; then other watchmen came together, and barred every passage to the weary one. And the wretched one cried from his heart, and ran here and there, and moaned to himself: “Surely this watchman is Izrá’íl, my angel of death, following so fast upon me; or he is a tyrant of men, seeking to harm me.” His feet carried him on, the one bleeding with the arrow of love, and his heart lamented. Then he came to a garden wall, and with untold pain he scaled it, for it proved very high; and forgetting his life, he threw himself down to the garden.  And there he beheld his beloved with a lamp in her hand, searching for a ring she had lost. When the heart-surrendered lover looked on his ravishing love, he drew a great breath and raised up his hands in prayer, crying: “O God! Give Thou glory to the watchman, and riches and long life. For the watchman was Gabriel, guiding this poor one; or he was Isráfíl, bringing life to this wretched one!”

Regardless of faith, this story speaks to the power that those things we consider fearsome might have for us.  Are they enemies or actually watchpersons guiding us back to our heart?  When we encounter fear, it occurs to me that the question is, “what does this fear teach me?”  Does it teach me that I truly do not want this in my life. and so I walk in new directions?  Does it teach me that the wall is only but an obstacle and my true desire is on the other side of that fear?  Since childhood, I have, at times, experienced such powerful nightmares whereupon and after I have increasingly and ever better asked myself these questions and the answers are constructive.  Sometimes the nightmare says, “Well, now you know what your soul does not want in life.”  That is a signpost for walking my life.  Other times it says, “How bad do you want this?”  That is a proverbial kick in the arse.

In our last post, I offered three thoughts from an episode of Star Trek: Voyager (check it out):

  • “I’ve learned to trust fear.”
  • “Fear is the most honest of emotions.”
  • “Fear only exists for one purpose… to be conquered.”

I think my post on Another da Vinci Code speaks to these in part.  I think the story above speaks to these.  Now, I will ponder… and, like Jenny, I will be back with more thought in The broadCAST™ later this week.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear is our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.  Having a better understanding of fear helps too.  Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

Introducing Fear

Last month, we shared on a series around love and self care.  This month, The Benny and Jarry Blog enters October exploring fear.  First, consider:

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”  ― John Lennon

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson

“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” ― J.K. Rowling

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ― Jim Morrison

JENNY says…

This whole month I will speak on and to fear … and how we allow it to consume and control us.

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.  It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.

When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey comes to mind.  He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it; well I have it linked above lol. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

In the upcoming broadCAST™ for October, I am going to share more on my own journey with fear.  I look forward to sharing my own thoughts on that journey and lessons learned and learning.  Hope you join me. <3

BARRY says…

I am looking forward to this journey with fear, Jenny.  I have long said and believed (but not always acted upon) the thought that fear is not the question; fear of what is.  Fear is a natural emotion of which we are all capable.  The question is not whether or not we are afraid, but of what we afraid.

I met an ex-Marine who fought in Vietnam.  I met him in 1988.  He shared a story of how we was behind Cambodian lines with his platoon.  Many were dead, many more injured and they were trying to get out of Cambodia through mine-laden rice paddies.  You see, the Americans were not supposed to be in Cambodia. Richard Nixon was apparently proclaiming that there were no troops in Cambodia.  So, there were no troops coming to help.  His platoon had to get themselves out.  They did.  It was harrowing.  I was all of 28 at the time and I remember asking him if he was scared.  He looked at me and smiled, saying essentially, “Of course we were.  Anyone who says they were not scared is either a fool or a liar.”  He then looked me in the eyes and basically said, “Barry, listen to me.  Remember this.  Courage first, confidence second.”

That message I have remembered.  He was saying that courage is in the face of fear; no fear, no courage… and courage is the source of confidence.  We need fear to prove something to ourselves.  We need fear to grow.

If you have time, take 5 minutes to watch Captain Janeway engage fear manifested in AI form.  In the video, there are three thoughts I love.

  • “I’ve learned to trust fear.”
  • “Fear is the most honest of emotions.”
  • “Fear only exists for one purpose… to be conquered.”

Fear has purpose.  And questioning what we fear has purpose.  In my next piece in The broadCAST™, I shall share some more thoughts on my own journey with fear, as friend.

TOGETHER

So, fear is our journey for October.  Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.  Having a better understanding of fear helps too.  Together, and into October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

The Paths of Love

In lasts week’s post on Love and Grace, we continued an exploration of caring for ourselves, which we started with in The Long, Cool Road and followed into broadCAST September 2019.  We recommend the reads and reflection, and we continue the deeper dive this week.

Jenny says…

To date, and essentially, I have offered the following in retrospect.  Allow me to recap.

This Blog may very well be all over the place in thought. As I have been these past couple weeks. I don’t mind saying it like it is, as you probably have noticed by reading my last blog, I am quite up-front and honest. I am usually very positive and upbeat. But guess what, I am human like the rest us, and I am exhausted. I have been pushing myself to the limit in every aspect of my life. I have been trying to be a kick-ass Mom, Friend, Partner and Student. Well I only have so much to give. I guess what I am saying is that in order to fill your own tank, you need to do things that you love. Even then you can find yourself drained and depleted. I am a prime example of that this past week.  

This summer has been full, beautiful and extraordinary. So many positives, yet I am pooped. I am a strong believer in self-care. A huge believer. But even in the moments of self-care, my mind is in full speed, thinking of all that I need to do in the next five years of my life. Which in all honesty does not help or benefit me in the slightest. While most structure their lives around schedule and organization, my life just doesn’t work well that way. Or at least I don’t think it does. Lord knows I have tried. I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I get things done, and if I don’t, I clearly didn’t think it was needed in that particular time, or in that particular order. I know I am not the only one that lives like this. Other people may think it is chaos, where I find it comfortable. It just works. Rather than getting into how it works, which I don’t think really matters. We all work differently. I want to talk more about doing the best that we can with what we know. And finding what fits and benefits your life. 

I am currently reading a Brene Brown book called Rising Strong. She is a phenomenal writer and I find myself relating to most of her writings. I have to say it is taking me a LONG time reading because of that thing we call life. I take all the moments I can spare to sit and read for a bit. But let’s be real, I also have a million other things that I want to do. Be lazy and watch Netflix, eat cheesecake, do my nails, hang with my boy, maybe just do absolutely nothing while scrolling through Pinterest. You know, all those important valid things. Which I think at times we need to do. I think it is a part of unwinding and letting ourselves breathe for a moment in time.  

In Brene’s book she talks about doing the best that we can with what we know. I relate this to Child and Youth Care (in which I am studying), and life in general. Brene talks about finding people ignorant or rude, or responding a certain way to something. At first, we look at the person like they have ten heads. Like maybe they are just jerks. That’s not the case. We are simply doing the best with what we are given. We are doing our best in life with our skills and knowledge. This speaks to me on many levels. In society, as a parent, as a friend, as an employee, or with ourselves. I look at how I am to others. I love them, I love everyone really. I find the best in anyone and everyone. That is because I was raised that way. Raised to be kind, empathetic, compassionate, and respectful. That built a love and understanding within me that I use outward. I treat others with love because I was treated with love. It is my norm. But when it comes to taking moments to care for me, that isn’t so natural. I can’t exactly blame it on my upbringing, but it is more of a generational thing as far as I am concerned. I feel like moments of relaxing, taking a nap, going to a spa, or getting your hair done, may have been considered more of a selfish act. When really it isn’t. It is taking little moments to love yourself.  

Because this is not such a natural act, I get stuck in moments of self-care, with little imprints of caring for others or thinking about the million things I need to do. That is not self-care at its finest. I know how difficult it is to completely unwind, allowing your mind to compartmentalize the important and not so important things we need to focus on at that time. I guess therefore I have been left exhausted. I have been doing things for myself amid chaos these past couple weeks. But clearly, I have not allowed myself to detach and let go of everything I have no control over in that very moment. If I can’t fix it now, then get into that little box inside of my head so I can push it away somewhere until I can address it or accommodate it.  

Let me add something this week.

  • In life there will always be moments to love ourselves enough to rest and take care of our basic needs. But how we come to do that is the real test. This is where we are doing the best with what we have, or what we know. We are taught by people around us how we should and shouldn’t love ourselves. We mirror what we have watched growing up. We allow people to plants seeds, such as, selfish, lazy, high maintenance, or needy. When in all reality it is a basic need of ours. We NEED to care for ourselves. However that looks to each of us may be completely different or one in the same. Now like I said, we are either taught how to love ourselves or we learn. So, let us learn.

In my next post, and upon reflection, I will share thoughts on what that might look like.

Barry says…

I love the idea Jenny is proposing.  Self care and love are unique to each of us; as is balance.

Yesterday was a bit a remarkable day for me.  In Public Relations class with some music students, we talked on the importance of self awareness as an artist… and the need to be authentic in our “branding”.  Posing creates much more work, to maintain the pose.

Last evening, I attended a memorial for a former student who took his own life last week.  Sam was a gifted Soul; gifted with compassion, generosity, kindness, thoughtfulness, creativity, enthusiasm, joyfulness and more.  And yet, he chose to depart this realm.  I shared this post on my feelings around the news and the day yesterday morning.  Then, last night and upon reflection after the memorial, I shared this Facebook live post, around thoughts on Sam and more.  I shared this post yesterday as well… on Sam’s family choosing to advance the necessary dialogue on suicide.

So What?

And so why do I offer up such?  I would suggest that self care and self love are grounded in seeing our best self and character, and honoring it.  I suggested in class that one powerful form of self love is to love others.  In other words, when we fully identify and accept who we are here most to love … and love them… we love ourselves.  This does not imply trying to save everyone.  It does imply that choosing to be of service to those who matter most to us can run parallel to us taking time to take care of ourselves.

For example, I spent a great deal of my adult life trying hard to please everyone.  In the final analysis, and with great mentors, I realized that I get to pick who I choose to best serve.  For all, I choose to try to give friendliness and joyfulness as a countenance.  That is my universal service.

But to maintain my best energy and care, my personal and professional lives have a sharper focus.  With Epic Engage™, we serve those world embracing and noble minded educators, entrepreneurs and emerging leaders who get it or want to get it.  We are clear on that.  We are not here to convince or preach but serve who best and most needs our work.  We get to choose when and where and how.

With my personal life, I have my Camelot, my tribe, my chosen family who will get my very best.

Stephen Covey referred to this prioritization as the big rocks.  I referenced it in The Long, Cool Road.

Ultimately, I am suggesting that self love and the love of others are parallel journeys; but we must be very strategic in choosing who we best serve.  During this most busy term of my life (and it indeed is), the best way I will take care of myself is to choose who I will actively and purposefully serve and love best.  I only have so much to give, and I must needs choose where I will best give.  In so doing, I will both take care of my energy and health, and I will feel best fulfilled with the feeling that I have been there for the people who matter most.  Caring for them in my personal and professional lives shows care for me.  I think that is what Andy Grammer sings of here.

My 10-Day Path to Love

So, I am taking on a personal 10-day project to sharpen the blades and simplify.  I saw this meme on Facebook, reminding me of the intriguing numerical significance of 10 days in September 2019.

91#19 with the # running from 0 through 9.  Intriguing indeed.

Each day, I will eliminate one distraction or add one habit.

Yesterday, on the first day, I decided that I will no longer engage in any activity unless I feel a real energy is there for movement.  In other words, I need to feel a “Hell Yeah”.  If not, I do not.

Today, and in honor of Sam, I will commit to one simple, conscious act of kindness each day.  I tend to think of myself as typically kind… but I am intent on making sure a day does not go by where I do not take one simple act of kindness, in word or deed.

Over the next 8 days, I will establish 8 other commitments.   Whether you start your own act now during this period or not… think about taking 10 days and making 10 simple commitments to cut things out or commit to simple actions that will love you and others.

See where that takes you.  I will let you know my 10 next week.  🙂

TOGETHER

Together, we are committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.

Together, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

PLUS…

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Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

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