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BE, at Home

In Our Own Script, I noted that “I am starting my own journey of self isolation and homeworking…”.

And, it has been quite the week. Teaching college from home. Running Epic Engage from home, working with clients from a distance at home, working out and eating right… from home. This morning, on LinkedIn, I shared this on Lock Down or Castle Build, And this evening, I shared this video message.

All of this is to say that I am seeing this as an opportunity to go inward. I am nightly getting “outside contact” with “da C.L.U.B.” Facebook Live at approximately 9:00 pm NT (7:30 PM EST)… thereabouts. But, this is a time of reset and re-engineering. If I am going to be at home, I might as well BE at home.

How can you BE at home?

Oh, and check this out from the Harvard Business Review. Great read.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Snow Small Change

Last week, we shared on Change Makes Change. Before that, The broadCAST, and two weeks ago; Make Change. The theme this month? Clearly, on change.

Wow, there has been alot of change around here the past week, with almost 120 centimeters of snow, including a 93 cm drop on Friday/Saturday, within 24 hours… accompanied by hurricane force winds… that many are now calling Stormageddon 2020.

A State of Emergency (SOE) has ensued, and life has changed for many. We have been digging out, ever since. College, University and schools have been closed since last Friday. St. John’s, Mount Pearl, and surrounding areas are each making their own progress on their respective SOEs.

So, it has been a week of change… forced and consciously made. With that in mind, we offer…

Jenny says…

First, please go back and read (if you have not already)… my posts in making change and The broadCAST, and last week in change requires change. Here, I continue…

I left off by saying that things were “a breath of fresh air, but at the same time kind of scary”. I then knew that things had to change. If not, the universe wouldn’t allow the positive energy that I was exuding, to come back to fuel me.

While I made these minuscule changes in my life, big differences were seen, both internally and externally. I started seeing who I was on a deeper level than I could have ever envisioned. I set plans in place. I set my standards higher. I allowed remarkable people into my life and opened my heart for the upmost beauty that life could offer me.

I started one new beginning the day that I decided to go back to school. In which I have to say, it is never too late to start something. Anything that your heart desires, you can achieve it. I stuck with it and I am now a graduate. My newest beginning is now as a graduate. I am watching myself create a new path. A path of employment. Of experiences and learning. A path of new territories and adventures. In this time, it is almost as if my new beginning into the field of Child and Youth Care with Addictions has opened other doors, with higher standards.

It has opened my heart to love like I have never experienced. It has allowed me to see all that I am as a student and all that I am capable of.

I guess my point in all of this is that I know sometimes we don’t see where the road will take us. Or even if we know how to get on said road. Sometimes the path is so unclear (not unlike the shoveling out this past week). Or maybe it is right under our noses the entire time. All I can tell you is don’t be afraid to make a change. Don’t be afraid for new beginnings. The time will come on that path of new beginnings where everything starts to click. Things fall into place and you can intensely feel and see your masterpiece unfold before your very eyes.  

I have more to say in my final installment on change (for now anyways) next week.

Barry says…

It has been quite the week. It has caused me time to not only shovel out on snow, but on life. I have reflected, and posted, on

Been busy. 🙂 All the posts follow a path of where are we going; and I suggest are worth the time to read and reflect. All that being said, I will add for now is this…

Change is not easy. It is not meant to be. It requires Courage and Commitment.

Courage. When in change, we are traveling new ground; or at least ground we have not seen in a while. It is not lost on me that toddlers, as they first learn to walk and talk, are practicing it without even knowing it. It is scary to stumble and not be understood. It requires Courage to push through.

And Commitment. It is the follow through. Commitment is doing the thing we said we would do when we felt committed, long after we no longer feel committed.

Next week, I will offer my own concluding thoughts on this topic of change, for now. In fact, I will be sharing my own (by then, well articulated) personal plan for truly conscious change in one key area of my life; health.

But change is a constant in life. Our own conscious change requires Courage and Commitment.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Fear: The End?

Over this month, we have looked at fear.  In our last post, we dug in on Fear and the Track Record.  Today, we bring it all together with an add.

Jenny says…

To catch you and me up to date, here is what I have shared this month.

This month I will speak on fear and how we allow it to consume and control us.  Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous likely to cause pain, or a threat. It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.
When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey’s talk show comes to mind. He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?

It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.

When we think of fear, we think of the negative aspect of it. What we don’t always realize is there are actual benefits to feeling fear. Fear guides our fight and flight responses. It also heightens our senses while keeping us alert and better prepared. When our brain kicks in to fight or flight our body is pumped full of Cortisol (the stress hormone). When we are finding ourselves flushed with stress or fear our adrenaline kicks in. Adrenaline increases our heart rate, but also gives us a burst of energy and focuses our attention on the danger at hand. During this fearful or stressful state, your body is also supplying norepinephrine, which is much like arousal. It helps us become more aware, alert, awake and focused. We become more responsive. And it pumps blood flow to the areas that are the most essential during this time, so that we can flee the stressful situation.

I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.

So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was! Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?”. Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.

Today, OCTOBER 30, I offer…

Maybe instead of running when we feel this undeniable pull in a certain direction, we should instead explore this path. Maybe this is the path that we were meant to travel. Maybe it is something you never in a million years thought that you would do, or even be interested in doing. Now let me be clear, I am talking healthy changes, healthy exploration and experiences. I am not saying to jump into a random relationship or take a job because you have a fear of the unknown. I am saying listen to your body cues. Feel that surge of energy when the cortisol flushes through you. Use that as your driving force to challenge or overcome the obstacle that you are facing.

Barry says…

… and I intend to; explore. Thanks for that reminder Jenny.  These past few years, especially, since my TIA/stroke in 2015, I have felt something of a gnawing in my Soul.  Indeed, over the last year or so in particular, I have taken on a strategic and almost purposefully meandering journey of reflection and re-engineering … almost.  No, not almost, indeed and in deed.

This week, that kind of culminated in a post called What Matters Most?  In that, I shared on making and leaving your M.A.R.K. and stating your C.A.S.E..  I highly recommend the read if I do say so myself; and I do.

With that in mind, my deepest desire is not for riches nor fame, but service and impact.  I seek only to work with those I can truly help.  They are identified in that blog, where I focus it down to:

  • I love, honor and have a blast helping global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world. I speak, teach, coach, facilitate, consult, write, cartoon, sing, dance, vlog, blog, pod and create on it.

How does this relate to fear?  I am about to go outside my ever increased (over the years) box.  I have had moments in my life where I was called upon, first resisted, and then made my jump… and those moments served in (a) teaching me my best relationship with fear, (b) showing me new understandings of capacity, and (c) offering new vistas and roads.  This moment is no different.

In doing so, it might mean some kind of change of scenery; not necessarily geographically.  It might mean new circles.  It will mean new circles.  That does not mean leaving my teaching, nor my work with Epic Engage™.  That is the core and heart to this growth.  I am an educator and entrepreneur who simply wants to love, honor and have a blast helping those global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world.  It does mean digging deeper on a global focus.

Since childhood, I have seen myself as “Terran”, and my neighbourhood was Newfoundland and Labrador.  I seek to primarily travel and work and walk with those that get that.  That is not an elitist view because such a vision is open and accessible to anyone.  It does mean that it is time for me to put on those global glasses and find those whose full heart is in it.  I have no desire to retreat into local life.  I love where I live, and will always call it my “hood”.  But my vision is world embracing, and embracing is more than “accepting”.  It requires a Wholeheartedness that says there is no “Plan B”.  It requires such a Wholeheartedness that many might not share.  That is OK.  A part of me wants to ride with everyone.  A bigger part of me knows that we best ride with those who want to ride together.

My life and friendships and work will not change much.  But, there will be a fundamental change in seeing my life as “global”. As noted, I care not for riches, nor fame.  Still, this “boy inside the man” has always sought service and impact that has no freakin’ borders and serves those who have the capacity and deep desire for the “betterment of the world”.

Some will not be on board, and that scares a part of me.  But, that is good. Fear is a friend that causes us to question what it is we fear.  Some fears tell us that we need to protect ourselves and that is a good thing.  Some fears say “I dare you“.  That is a good thing too.

For the next two months, I am choosing to run silent and deep.  I will continue posting daily on my platforms of Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter, thrice daily; morning, noon and night.  Three times daily with posts that I feel might add to the character of life.

That being said, I will be laying low otherwise..  I will be focusing on my teaching, Epic Engage™, my university courses and my health.  I will not be out and about.  There may be an event or two.  There will be a few coffees and evenings with friends.  But, I am drawing back, taking a deeper dive into those “global” eyes.  I will be better understanding that I am a world citizen; an educator and entrepreneur without borders, if you will.

Will drawing back and doing so be scary?  Yup.  Yip. Uh-huh.  It will mean questioning and changing my life in ways I have gotten used to for now seemingly too long.  I love my life, and am grateful for it; but it is time to change it.

So, and again, let me ask you.

  • What matters most to you? What cause or work or progress or service matters most to you? Deeply. Maybe consider those global goals to jog some thought.
  • How do you imagine yourself now, or in the future, helping advance on it… moving the needle on it?
  • Who do you imagine yourself best serving in doing so?
  • What talents, capacities and services do you bring to move that needle?
  • How will you be known with consistency, that is aligned with you, simple and enjoyable?

Dare yourself.  Your fear might be your friend.  Fear is never the end… it is the beginning; of discovery.  Spend some time with you.  Reflect.  Re-engineer.  Face the fear and feed the fire.  I will.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear has been our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends and colleagues do that.  As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.  We will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

 

 

Using Fear

This week, we continue our exploration of fear.

Jenny and I are digging deeper on this thing called fear, for ourselves and others.  We are going beyond the “face value” of this force we call fear.  This week, we question it’s value.

Jenny says…

I have shared three times on fear so far in:

I encourage you to go back and read for yourself.  In The broadCAST™, I finished by saying I had some questions.  I do, for us all.  And some thoughts.

I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.

Honestly, I continue to think on these questions and thoughts and will no doubt share more next week.  For now, I am asking that you think about it.

Barry says…

Jenny, I find this useful and am pondering same.  What if fear was a tough coach, believing in us but pushing us?  What if fear desired to be tamed or conquered?  In my post in The broadCAST™, I suggested “that fear is too often lumped into one big bowl. Truthfully, there is irrational and rational fear. Fear has its benefits. It can keep us safe in the face of rational fear. Irrational fear, on the other hand, can control us in ways we must resist.”

What if the irrational fears are truly here to help?  We know the rational fears are good for us; they protect us.  But, indeed, what if the irrational fears were intent on inviting us to tame them, to conquer them, to build confidence through the courage in facing them?  What if they are stepping stones to learning our greatest capacity?

Tomorrow, I have one of the most potentially far reaching talks I have ever given ( I will share more next time), but there are voices within that I have not heard in years. Voices that say, “Are you up to this?” and such.  I have been in the training and development field for 39 years, have delivered messages to 200,000+ people through 20,000+ contact hours, have coached 1500+ clients, and delivered to audiences as large as 4,000… and still that voice creeps in for tomorrow.  It questions me.  And I will answer to the best of my ability.  As a mentor once said to me, “Courage first, Confidence second”.  I am about to find another stepping stone.

Fear as Motivator

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear continues to be our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.

As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.

Together, and through October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

Introducing Fear

Last month, we shared on a series around love and self care.  This month, The Benny and Jarry Blog enters October exploring fear.  First, consider:

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”  ― John Lennon

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson

“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” ― J.K. Rowling

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ― Jim Morrison

JENNY says…

This whole month I will speak on and to fear … and how we allow it to consume and control us.

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.  It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.

When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey comes to mind.  He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it; well I have it linked above lol. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

In the upcoming broadCAST™ for October, I am going to share more on my own journey with fear.  I look forward to sharing my own thoughts on that journey and lessons learned and learning.  Hope you join me. <3

BARRY says…

I am looking forward to this journey with fear, Jenny.  I have long said and believed (but not always acted upon) the thought that fear is not the question; fear of what is.  Fear is a natural emotion of which we are all capable.  The question is not whether or not we are afraid, but of what we afraid.

I met an ex-Marine who fought in Vietnam.  I met him in 1988.  He shared a story of how we was behind Cambodian lines with his platoon.  Many were dead, many more injured and they were trying to get out of Cambodia through mine-laden rice paddies.  You see, the Americans were not supposed to be in Cambodia. Richard Nixon was apparently proclaiming that there were no troops in Cambodia.  So, there were no troops coming to help.  His platoon had to get themselves out.  They did.  It was harrowing.  I was all of 28 at the time and I remember asking him if he was scared.  He looked at me and smiled, saying essentially, “Of course we were.  Anyone who says they were not scared is either a fool or a liar.”  He then looked me in the eyes and basically said, “Barry, listen to me.  Remember this.  Courage first, confidence second.”

That message I have remembered.  He was saying that courage is in the face of fear; no fear, no courage… and courage is the source of confidence.  We need fear to prove something to ourselves.  We need fear to grow.

If you have time, take 5 minutes to watch Captain Janeway engage fear manifested in AI form.  In the video, there are three thoughts I love.

  • “I’ve learned to trust fear.”
  • “Fear is the most honest of emotions.”
  • “Fear only exists for one purpose… to be conquered.”

Fear has purpose.  And questioning what we fear has purpose.  In my next piece in The broadCAST™, I shall share some more thoughts on my own journey with fear, as friend.

TOGETHER

So, fear is our journey for October.  Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.  Having a better understanding of fear helps too.  Together, and into October and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

The Paths of Love

In lasts week’s post on Love and Grace, we continued an exploration of caring for ourselves, which we started with in The Long, Cool Road and followed into broadCAST September 2019.  We recommend the reads and reflection, and we continue the deeper dive this week.

Jenny says…

To date, and essentially, I have offered the following in retrospect.  Allow me to recap.

This Blog may very well be all over the place in thought. As I have been these past couple weeks. I don’t mind saying it like it is, as you probably have noticed by reading my last blog, I am quite up-front and honest. I am usually very positive and upbeat. But guess what, I am human like the rest us, and I am exhausted. I have been pushing myself to the limit in every aspect of my life. I have been trying to be a kick-ass Mom, Friend, Partner and Student. Well I only have so much to give. I guess what I am saying is that in order to fill your own tank, you need to do things that you love. Even then you can find yourself drained and depleted. I am a prime example of that this past week.  

This summer has been full, beautiful and extraordinary. So many positives, yet I am pooped. I am a strong believer in self-care. A huge believer. But even in the moments of self-care, my mind is in full speed, thinking of all that I need to do in the next five years of my life. Which in all honesty does not help or benefit me in the slightest. While most structure their lives around schedule and organization, my life just doesn’t work well that way. Or at least I don’t think it does. Lord knows I have tried. I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I get things done, and if I don’t, I clearly didn’t think it was needed in that particular time, or in that particular order. I know I am not the only one that lives like this. Other people may think it is chaos, where I find it comfortable. It just works. Rather than getting into how it works, which I don’t think really matters. We all work differently. I want to talk more about doing the best that we can with what we know. And finding what fits and benefits your life. 

I am currently reading a Brene Brown book called Rising Strong. She is a phenomenal writer and I find myself relating to most of her writings. I have to say it is taking me a LONG time reading because of that thing we call life. I take all the moments I can spare to sit and read for a bit. But let’s be real, I also have a million other things that I want to do. Be lazy and watch Netflix, eat cheesecake, do my nails, hang with my boy, maybe just do absolutely nothing while scrolling through Pinterest. You know, all those important valid things. Which I think at times we need to do. I think it is a part of unwinding and letting ourselves breathe for a moment in time.  

In Brene’s book she talks about doing the best that we can with what we know. I relate this to Child and Youth Care (in which I am studying), and life in general. Brene talks about finding people ignorant or rude, or responding a certain way to something. At first, we look at the person like they have ten heads. Like maybe they are just jerks. That’s not the case. We are simply doing the best with what we are given. We are doing our best in life with our skills and knowledge. This speaks to me on many levels. In society, as a parent, as a friend, as an employee, or with ourselves. I look at how I am to others. I love them, I love everyone really. I find the best in anyone and everyone. That is because I was raised that way. Raised to be kind, empathetic, compassionate, and respectful. That built a love and understanding within me that I use outward. I treat others with love because I was treated with love. It is my norm. But when it comes to taking moments to care for me, that isn’t so natural. I can’t exactly blame it on my upbringing, but it is more of a generational thing as far as I am concerned. I feel like moments of relaxing, taking a nap, going to a spa, or getting your hair done, may have been considered more of a selfish act. When really it isn’t. It is taking little moments to love yourself.  

Because this is not such a natural act, I get stuck in moments of self-care, with little imprints of caring for others or thinking about the million things I need to do. That is not self-care at its finest. I know how difficult it is to completely unwind, allowing your mind to compartmentalize the important and not so important things we need to focus on at that time. I guess therefore I have been left exhausted. I have been doing things for myself amid chaos these past couple weeks. But clearly, I have not allowed myself to detach and let go of everything I have no control over in that very moment. If I can’t fix it now, then get into that little box inside of my head so I can push it away somewhere until I can address it or accommodate it.  

Let me add something this week.

  • In life there will always be moments to love ourselves enough to rest and take care of our basic needs. But how we come to do that is the real test. This is where we are doing the best with what we have, or what we know. We are taught by people around us how we should and shouldn’t love ourselves. We mirror what we have watched growing up. We allow people to plants seeds, such as, selfish, lazy, high maintenance, or needy. When in all reality it is a basic need of ours. We NEED to care for ourselves. However that looks to each of us may be completely different or one in the same. Now like I said, we are either taught how to love ourselves or we learn. So, let us learn.

In my next post, and upon reflection, I will share thoughts on what that might look like.

Barry says…

I love the idea Jenny is proposing.  Self care and love are unique to each of us; as is balance.

Yesterday was a bit a remarkable day for me.  In Public Relations class with some music students, we talked on the importance of self awareness as an artist… and the need to be authentic in our “branding”.  Posing creates much more work, to maintain the pose.

Last evening, I attended a memorial for a former student who took his own life last week.  Sam was a gifted Soul; gifted with compassion, generosity, kindness, thoughtfulness, creativity, enthusiasm, joyfulness and more.  And yet, he chose to depart this realm.  I shared this post on my feelings around the news and the day yesterday morning.  Then, last night and upon reflection after the memorial, I shared this Facebook live post, around thoughts on Sam and more.  I shared this post yesterday as well… on Sam’s family choosing to advance the necessary dialogue on suicide.

So What?

And so why do I offer up such?  I would suggest that self care and self love are grounded in seeing our best self and character, and honoring it.  I suggested in class that one powerful form of self love is to love others.  In other words, when we fully identify and accept who we are here most to love … and love them… we love ourselves.  This does not imply trying to save everyone.  It does imply that choosing to be of service to those who matter most to us can run parallel to us taking time to take care of ourselves.

For example, I spent a great deal of my adult life trying hard to please everyone.  In the final analysis, and with great mentors, I realized that I get to pick who I choose to best serve.  For all, I choose to try to give friendliness and joyfulness as a countenance.  That is my universal service.

But to maintain my best energy and care, my personal and professional lives have a sharper focus.  With Epic Engage™, we serve those world embracing and noble minded educators, entrepreneurs and emerging leaders who get it or want to get it.  We are clear on that.  We are not here to convince or preach but serve who best and most needs our work.  We get to choose when and where and how.

With my personal life, I have my Camelot, my tribe, my chosen family who will get my very best.

Stephen Covey referred to this prioritization as the big rocks.  I referenced it in The Long, Cool Road.

Ultimately, I am suggesting that self love and the love of others are parallel journeys; but we must be very strategic in choosing who we best serve.  During this most busy term of my life (and it indeed is), the best way I will take care of myself is to choose who I will actively and purposefully serve and love best.  I only have so much to give, and I must needs choose where I will best give.  In so doing, I will both take care of my energy and health, and I will feel best fulfilled with the feeling that I have been there for the people who matter most.  Caring for them in my personal and professional lives shows care for me.  I think that is what Andy Grammer sings of here.

My 10-Day Path to Love

So, I am taking on a personal 10-day project to sharpen the blades and simplify.  I saw this meme on Facebook, reminding me of the intriguing numerical significance of 10 days in September 2019.

91#19 with the # running from 0 through 9.  Intriguing indeed.

Each day, I will eliminate one distraction or add one habit.

Yesterday, on the first day, I decided that I will no longer engage in any activity unless I feel a real energy is there for movement.  In other words, I need to feel a “Hell Yeah”.  If not, I do not.

Today, and in honor of Sam, I will commit to one simple, conscious act of kindness each day.  I tend to think of myself as typically kind… but I am intent on making sure a day does not go by where I do not take one simple act of kindness, in word or deed.

Over the next 8 days, I will establish 8 other commitments.   Whether you start your own act now during this period or not… think about taking 10 days and making 10 simple commitments to cut things out or commit to simple actions that will love you and others.

See where that takes you.  I will let you know my 10 next week.  🙂

TOGETHER

Together, we are committed to living a joyful life and work.  Best friends do that.

Together, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

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Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Love and Character

In our last post, From Jenny, with Love, we commenced a journey; a new chapter with Benny and Jarry (aka Barry and Jenny lol).

Going forward, we will write on character, love, unity and excellence as it relates to living and working and serving and playing our lives away; whether as educators, entrepreneurs, emerging leaders or anyone looking to get more out of life by giving more to the lives of themselves and others.

Each week, we will offer up thoughts on the journey of Love and Character.  We suggest that Character + Love = Unity = Excellence.  We contend that Love and Character combine to produce palpable, powerful, practical Unity at school, work, business and community… that advances Excellence.

And we share thoughts here.

JENNY says

As I sit here tonight, with my freshly washed face and hair in a ponytail, I reflect on this beautiful, life changing week. My heart is happy. Although it has been for a couple years now. That being said, it has been a journey. A journey of awareness, of self-acceptance, of hardcore, no pussy footin’ around kind of honesty with myself and others. It has been joyous, and raw and real. And I continue to see the world through different lenses… the more I love myself, the more I am loving everyone else.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times I want to lay a smackdown on some people, but guess what??? This new and improved Jenny 2.0 has patience and awareness that I never thought I would be armed with. I am unstoppable.

Ok, let’s get down to the nitty gritty here.

I WAS NOT always this way, believe me. I never knew what it was to love me completely. Until these past few years. It took a swift kick in the ass for me to see who I am and all I have to offer. I guess what I am getting at is that I would ideally love to say that it only takes a few easy steps, but no I am not going to pussy foot around with you either. It is tough.

It is tough.  Your self-doubt and self-loathing will test you. Will scream loudly the moment you begin to think “Hell ya, I am worth it.” It may even kick you down and throw dirt in your face time and time again. But that is just a small little piece of what will make you the kick-ass warrior that you will become.

I have no doubt that if I can achieve this love within myself, anyone can. I want to share my journey with you, I want you to share yours with me. I want you to know how damn important that you are in this world. That YOU are worth all of your own love.

We give so freely to others. And it is a beautiful thing. Don’t ever water that part of yourself down. But start loving yourself the same way. Be empathetic towards your life experiences. Don’t judge yourself in such a harsh way. Be gentle with your heart. You are so precious.

And I hope that this blog that I am just starting helps guide you to that place somehow. This is a journey, for not only me, but for all you beautiful souls reading this. This may not flow, each week I might have a different topic. But there will always be a taste of self-love, appreciation for yourself and others, notes on how to work on becoming more in tune with all your loving qualities, and just random messages on love in general.

What we so desperately need in the world.

So, join me on this journey of falling in love with everything life has to offer, including ourselves <3

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry says

I love the message Jenny brings.  I love the fact that we are writing together going forward.  I love who Jenny is and for what she stands.  I love our incredible friendship and the work and play and life that unfolds from it.  Indeed, I love my life.  I get to teach business at the college level. I get to do this beautiful work with Epic Engage™.  I get to speak, teach, facilitate, coach, consult, create, sing, dance, write, blog, vlog and more… and with Jenny.  I love it, all.  I love my #bestlittledogintheworld Panda, and my modest beautiful little home I call The Greens.  I love my life.

We just completed an incredible retreat centering on the work of The Virtues Project™… exploring the 5 Strategies for building lives and cultures of character (I will share more as the weeks and months go by).   I often suggest that Love is a virtue.  It is an emotion.  And it is action.  I suggest that L.O.V.E. is about the practice of character.  LOOK inside yourself for your strengths of character.  Identify them.  Name them, Claim them.  Then, seek out OPPORTUNITIES where they are most needed.  Discover what work, jobs, careers and vocations require them.  Discover what services and hobbies demand them.  Yes, identify your strengths of character and to where they are most called.  Then, have a VISION in your head and heart as to how the world, or your corner of it, will be better when you do apply your strengths to those opportunities.  Then, simply ENGAGE.  Do it.  That is how we L.O.V.E. our work.  That is how we L.O.V.E. our service, and play and school and community and life.  We look inside for our strengths of character, seek out opportunities where they are needed most, have a vision of their impact, and engage.  Indeed, that is the Epic Engage™.

I have been in this work of leadership training and development for 39 years.  I have earned my stripes the great, good, bad and ugly ways.  I have L.O.V.E.d every minute of it.  The errors have been teachers, getting me to consider what strengths of character I better needed to practice.  The successes have been teachers in celebrating those I have practiced.  Character has its teachable moments and L.O.V.E. requires character.

In times of trial, I have asked myself what strength of character were either missing or not being practiced, with the notion of putting them into practice.  In times of triumph, I have asked myself what strengths of character were present in order to replicate, going forward.

Character is the soil from which the tree of behaviour grows.  Pay attention to the soil and the tree will take care of itself.  Ask yourself, in any given situation, what virtues were present or what were not.  Ask yourself what do you need to continue practicing or start to practice.  Character is about practice.  Practice makes permanent.  Challenges teach us when we practice character.  Successes celebrate our best selves when we practice character.

My life has not been easy.  Very few of us can say life ever truly is.  Life has its challenges.  It also has its growth, resulting from same.  It has joy and love and so much more.  It certainly has for me.  Going forward, I will be sharing examples of L.O.V.E. in action.  I will be writing, with Jenny, on love and character and their twin powers to advance real, raw and results driven living.  This will be a sincere and simple exploration of the role character plays in our lives.  I am excited to explore.  Hope you are!

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

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A New Chapter with Benny and Jarry

Last week, I posted on My Summer CAMP.  In it, and among other things, I suggested that, “My thought to you is four-fold.

  • Cleansing of mind, body and spirit requires honesty, openness and courage.
  • Doing so is an investment.
  • Doing so requires us to be open, adaptive and relentless (your OARs in the water).
  • The return is high, on Clarity and Confidence.”

Such as been born out this past week, with changes coming to Epic Engage™ and how and why and with whom we work it.  One of the first changes is to this blog.  Going forward, much of my own work will be with my best friend and comrade in arms, Jenny Dearing.  You will learn more of Jenny in the days and weeks to come but our work together is driven by the advancement of character, love, unity and excellence.  What does that mean?  You will find out soon.

For now, let me suggest that I am personally more clear than ever on what Epic Engage™ stands and works and serves for, going forward.  Here, the blog will be known as Benny and Jarry, to represent the combined work of two best friends with passions and capacities for work that matters to both of us.  More important for now, it is a reminder that my question to you last week still stands.

How can you see yourself cleansing and getting to the essentials How can do CAMP?  How can you have those cool, meaningful conversations with those you deeply trust… to explore who you are and what has most meaning. How can you take actions needed to align in accordance?  How can you meditate on such, nay even pray?  I am thinking July and August will continue to be CAMP, for me…. as I get ever more clear on the work, service and play ahead.

Stay tuned for the first of Benny and Jarry, and look forward to a fierce and fun mission and service as we move forward together, stronger.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green, aka The Unity Guy

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Summer Cookin’ with the AL’s

You can call me AL for this blog, lol. But this post is about some new Summer cookin’ for yours truly.  You see, last Wednesday, I posted this on Check In and Conclude.  And now, with Summer in fuller swing, I posted this latest issue of The broadCAST™ for July 2019.  As part of the CHECK IN, I offered…

“As part of my 20022020 Vision, here is what I am cluing up between now and July 1.

  • Getting my weigh scales, gym and Panda ready for a Summer of full on wellness, including my first ground setting meeting with a nutritionist Friday… all towards that 36” Waist, Lean and Strong.
  • Setting my schedule for LEARNING this Summer:
    • MBa – Character Leadership and Unity Building
    • Mandarin and French
    • Ruhi Intensive
  • Preliminary PLANNING for CNA and MUN into Fall 2019.
  • Developing my 5 Year W.E.A.L.T.H. Plan for 2019-24.
  • Re-engineering the Epic Engage™ website, including a schedule of project plans.”

But The broadCAST™ moved me to revisit my GROWTHery list leading up to February 20, 2020… with my AL’s work.

  • SpirituAL … I am a spiritually connected man, and Baha’i
  • EmotionAL… I am a Simple Man, best friend to my #bestlittledogintheworld Panda
  • PersonAL… I am a singer, dancer, cartoonist, writer, archer and storyteller
  • PhysicAL… I am a man of 36″ waist and 100 kilos
  • MateriAL… I am a man of simple beautiful home and car, with new bed, telescope and wardrobe
  • FinanciAL… I am a man of healthy WEALTH, not extravagant but allowing me to do the work I love and love the work I do, to live the life I love and love the life I live, and support the causes and people in which I believe most
  • VocationAL, ProfessionAL, OccupationAL… I am an educator, for life
  • EntrepreneuriAL… I am The Unity Guy™ of Epic Engage™, the global Character Leadership Company
  • EducationAL… I am a master student and teacher on character leadership, education and unity building, able to speak in English, Mandarin and French

Consider some or all of the AL’s.  Consider where you are and where you want to be with some or all.  Then you develop a powerful GROWTHery list.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green, aka The Unity Guy

Check In and Conclude

Taking stock and wrapping up is important.  Last week, I wrote about keeping on keeping on.  This week, amidst meetings with passionate entrepreneurs, and the close of my College year, I am reminded that moving forward often times requires us to close on some things.  In order to start new chapters, we must conclude old ones.  In order to start new tasks, we must wrap up others.  It is hard, but necessary.

I am reminded that, far too often, our busy-ness does not get things actually done.  We spread ourselves so thin, getting little bits of everything done… with no real sense of accomplishment.  This is both counter productive and discouraging.

This week is that week that I do a mid year check in.  I am finished my College year… and Canada Day is July 1.  Formerly known as Dominion Day, I take this lead up to Canada Day as a time to stake my own true Dominion; that over which I actually do have control.  This is a time to clue up projects that need conclusion; and to clear the table for the balance of the year.  As part of my 20022020 Vision, here is what I am cluing up between now and July 1.

  • Getting my weigh scales, gym and Panda ready for a Summer of full on wellness, including my first ground setting meeting with a nutritionist Friday… all towards that 36” Waist, Lean and Strong.
  • Setting my schedule for LEARNING this Summer:
    • MBa – Character Leadership and Unity Building
    • Mandarin and French
    • Ruhi Intensive
  • Preliminary PLANNING for CNA and MUN into Fall 2019.
  • Developing my 5 Year W.E.A.L.T.H. Plan for 2019-24.
  • Re-engineering the Epic Engage™ website, including a schedule of project plans.

This will happen from Wednesday, June 26 through Sunday, June 30… 5 days.  And on Canada Day, I rest.  There will be such a feeling of accomplishment, and a sense of setting the foundation for a much needed Summer.  My thought to you is this.  As we head into July 1, halfway through 2019, identify what do you need to conclude and put to bed… then do that.

I think this is important as it helps with focus and Zeal… and with making decisions regarding career, and more.  Clearing the table and erasing the whiteboard open up possibilities.  Do that.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green, aka The Unity Guy

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