Slider

empathy

Drive Time

2020 has been interesting thus far, but the Year itself brought nothing; we did. 2020 is an arbitrary construct, a measurement of time. Is it 2020… or 5780 in the Jewish calendar, 2563 in the Buddhist, 2076 in the Hindu, 1441 in the Islamic or 177 in the Baha’i? You get the point.

What happens in our world is generated by us (not by a number), directly or indirectly. 7.8 billion people have an impact. We are seeing it now. That said, it is our response, individually and collectively that matters now, and going forward. It is time for a new realization me thinks. And we are in an infinite game.

The Drive Ahead

In Dare, Decide and Detach last week, I shared “Optimism sees ‘the stuff’ ahead and knows we will get there.” This is true … individually and collectively…. locally, globally and glocally.

Well, the next two days, I am adding a 4th D; Drive. This past week, I have written on Determination and Devotion and Dignity and Diligence and Discernment and Dominion as virtues in my ROCK 105 series; exploring strengths of character in these times. Well again, the next two days, I am adding another D; Drive. I am not speaking of a specific virtue. I am not speaking of drive and hustle. I am speaking of a literal drive; the kind of drive accompanied by great driving music… like Auberge and One Day Remains and Drive Time and Dedication … and all songs Amanda Marshall and Shinedown. I am talking blow off the cob webs drive. I am talking hear your spirit drive. I am talking no plans drive. I am talking gypsy drive. I am talk flow over drive drive. You get my point.

Panda and I are, at time of writing (one day ahead of my normal day of writing this blog), now 123 days in self isolation, with a singular bubble.. mostly by choice but knowing my space in life does not lend itself to be strong bubble candidacy (no parents, no children). Now, there is a sentence, lol. I choose such Responsibility as I understand this to be a global pandemic that will require us to develop new habits going forward. Without getting into that discussion now, I will simply say that:

  • no, I do not believe we all have to physical distance, wear masks and wash our hands forever going forward (though that last one, yes)
  • no, I do not live in fear, but Responsibility
  • yes, I believe in science, and science is the process of disciplined learning
  • yes, I do believe our entertainment and engagement going forward will differ
  • yes, I believe that is good and necessary
  • yes, mine will

That said, that is not the point today. The point is my spirit says drive. It says drive to dig deeper on joy because ‘Abdu’l-Bahá said, ” Joy gives us wings! In times of joy our strength is more vital, our intellect keener, and our understanding less clouded. We seem better able to cope with the world and to find our sphere of usefulness.” And music can be a Ladder for the Soul.

All that said, this time of Responsibility has brought challenges physically, mentally, and emotionally. Understandably so. And my Soul, impervious to any worldly affect, knows best and screams in a whisper… “drive”. We only need but silence our many voices, and listen to that still, small voice inside. It knows. It always knows. You see, ROCK 105 brings us to…

… for Wednesday, July 15, 2020. For me, I will be driving. How do they connect? Seeking to understand and listening with Compassion are part of Empathy. Refraining from toxic judging is too. Thinking about choices, caring and feeling connected are too. We often think of Empathy for others. I suggest Empathy can be targeted on and for ourselves as well. Do unto others can be applied to Empathy. Practice Empathy for yourself as you might have for others. Hence, the spirit call to drive.

I will listen to that call. I will listen to my Soul. And, I will hear.

Here I go.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire

A Stronger Ship

In Character and Strength last week, I offered that “Character is not some bobber adrift on the ocean. It is a formidable and strong ship cutting through and riding the waves.”

Earlier today, on LinkedIn, I posted this on 4 Strengths for a Better World. I invite you to read and reflect.

For me, it forms a game plan, or the foundation of one for my own work and life going forward. For me, I am now looking at this next week as a fleshing out of that foundation. What would these 4 strengths look like for me as an educator and entrepreneur? What would they look like in terms of the work of Epic Engage and the promise I make to myself and those I serve going forward? What would they look like in terms of my closest friends and life? Yeah, these 4 are resonating in how I engage the world going forward… how I see it, walk through it, bring spirit to it, and serve it.

These 4 can have a profound impact on the sailing of that strong ship, cutting and riding the waves. I suggest you might want to ponder.

I am.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The End of Empathy?

Last week, we continued our exploration of Empathy with Empathy and Detachment. Before that, we shared on The First Empathy. Before that, we looked at The Road to Empathy. This week, we finish our exploration.

Jenny says…

I am a strong believer in the fact that we are what we eat. It goes the same for what we believe. We are the vessel that carries all morals and values that we believe in. We demonstrate said beliefs through the way that we treat people. We show people who we are by acting a certain way. By loving hard, or not loving at all. We can be known as a light source, or someone that sucks the energy from the light source. We all have the ability to reign in our emotional reactions. If someone decided to be hurtful towards us, rather than lashing out and reacting in a negative way, would it not be better to look at the light sucker and say “I am really sorry that you are hurting so much that you feel the need to hurt others” or “I am sorry that you feel that way”. Why should we give in any more of our precious energy? When we allow our energy to be depleted, we soak in a little negative. We begin to hate ourselves a little more, we plant seeds in our mind that what these people are saying to us is true. Yet it is not. Not close. We are all worth the beauty that the world has to offer. No one should ever be allowed to take that from us.  

I explained to my son the night that we had dealt with this issue, that we are all like candles. People that don’t have the skills to know how to treat one another are like a dark cloud that blows wind around us. We as the candle can either allow our flame to be blown out, or we can shelter and protect it. That way our flames burns bright and strong.  

I will forever remind all of you, each and every day, of how worthy that you are to have that bright, beautiful flame burning. Do not allow anyone to blow that flame out. Keep burning brightly. Be that light that the world so desperately needs.  

Barry says…

Empathy is an interesting virtue. This has been a very interesting deeper dive for me; understanding its power to feel my own feelings and to cut others the slack needed, while I do so.

It is a power that is available to us all, in and through practice. It is important to develop it. It allows us to effectively discern situations by feeling for ourselves and others. With it, we can better determine whether we had a role in someone’s hurt or not. Empathy with Discipline and Discernment can help us know the difference in guilt and shame. Guilt says “I made a mistake”. Shames says “I am a mistake”. If I hurt you, Empathy will allow me to see my guilt and address the situation. Empathy, with Discipline and Discernment, will also allow me to recognize when I am shaming myself or another.

Empathy is not simply “feeling”. It is feeling for another. As I have noted before, that “other” can be ourselves. But Empathy is powerful in how we understand our interconnection with and impact upon others. Empathy is not weak. Nor, is it a special talent only for some. It is a power that we can and must develop in order to lead healthier, better connected lives within and with others. It can powerfully guide our best responses. It can constructively impact our own endurance. It demands Courage and Honesty; but it is a worthy investment.

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Is this the end of our exploration of Empathy? Probably not. We continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  For December, we will be taking a bit of a break but sharing some thoughts along the way. We certainly will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Stay with us.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Empathy and Detachment

Last week, we looked at The First Empathy. The week before that, we started in on an exploration of Empathy. This week, we continue.

Jenny says…

I encourage you to read our first two blogs. Now, carrying on from my last post…

My thoughts on all of this has been kind of snowballing into this thought of core. The knowing that there are behaviors attached to feelings. My heart really goes out to the kids that are feeling that it is normal or okay to treat others this way. As I said the behavior is connected to the feeling. To me that says that these children or adults for that matter are either hurting or sad. They are feeling an underlying emotion that is creating this anger or volatile expression that they so freely dish out to whoever crosses their path. It isn’t connected by anger towards this person necessarily, but they still express it anyhow.  

For empaths, we take things a little more personally. Much like my son did. He got angry that this little boy was being mean to him and calling him nasty names, so my son aggressively acted out. Rather than taking a moment to feel and control the reaction that we so quickly have, we act quick. As adults we do much the same. We are reactive human beings. Far and few in between are proactive. We need to be more conscious of what we say and do. We need to be more conscious of what we are teaching our children and our youth. We need to make the world a better place somehow. I feel that it starts with what we teach our youth. We see it more and more as we get older. The generational gap, and differences. We see the lack of respect, and structure. I am not saying that this applies to all of us, but we have the ability to make a difference, to make a change. The youth being the foundation to this change in our society. We are getting much better at speaking aloud about this epidemic. How can we start making this difference? How can we live what we teach?   Stay tuned…

Barry says…

Feeding off of Jenny’s thoughts, I first offer this on Emotional Intelligence (EI). Empathy is a virtue; and one that can be practiced. It is my experience and observation that EI can help those who more need practice with Empathy, and those who more need practice with Detachment as their Empathy is advanced. Detachment is a counter balancing virtue to Empathy. Both can be practiced, not unlike two wings of one great bird in flight.

Empathy is a powerful virtue of leadership. So is Detachment. Empathy is a powerful virtue of strength. So is Detachment. The power is found in the balance. I just posted on Endure and Respond. A week or so ago, I posted on Empathy, Endurance and Excellence. And recently, I have posted on Human Tech. All of this is to say that we can work on our human tech; our character. We do it through practice. In this case, practicing the balance of Empathy and Detachment seems like a great place to start. That is, in part, the beauty of EI. It engages:

  • Self Awareness
  • Self-Management
  • Social Awareness
  • Relationship Management

Enter Empathy and Detachment, in healthy balance. More to follow…

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  Together, and through November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The First Empathy

Last week, we started in on an exploration of Empathy. This week, we continue. First, we suggest the read of last week’s post. Second, this post. Third, look forward to the next broadCAST.

Jenny says…

Let me tell you a little bit about my boy. He is so kind and loving. He has always been the most soft-hearted empathetic little boy. He loves hard, much like his Mama. He feels others pain and shows caring gestures in moments of people’s sadness or hurt. I am so unbelievably proud of the little man that he is growing into. So, when I see him behave in this way, I question what it is that caused his reaction. My heart hurts for people in these moments of confusion and uncertainty.  

So, I decided to sit with him and practice what I recently studied in my program. I tried to get his perspective of what had happened. In exploring today’s events with him, I discovered that there is this one little boy in his class that has been bullying him on a regular basis. This has been causing my son to have somatic issues. He has been anxious in the mornings before school, at times calls home after throwing up and uses pretty much any excuse in the book to leave. This is heart-breaking as a parent. Heart-breaking in general to be truthful. It isn’t only sad that my child is hurting, it is also sad that we really don’t know what the child doing the hurting is going through. In the program that I am in, it makes us look at things in a different light. I realize that my son deserves to be comfortable in class. He should never feel unsafe or scared. Sadly, that is not the world we live in. We live in a world where people aren’t always given the skills needed to be kind to one another without judgement or anger. So, as his mother I need to prepare him for the unknown. Prepare him to love the ones that don’t have it programmed in them to be empathetic and loving. You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.  

… and that is where my thoughts are processing. I will have more to come in the next broadCAST.

Barry says…

“You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.” No truer words, Jenny; and kind of where my head and heart are now. In my first post on Empathy, I suggested that “Empathy is practiced when we are increasingly able to put ourselves in the shoes of another. It is diminished through apathy and distance. It is increased by caring and closeness. Dehumanization is one of the forces and sources advancing meanness and cruelty. The humanization of the world advances us in Empathy.”

I think the place to start is within. Empathy can constructively impact our Endurance. As I have noted before, “As leaders, educators, entrepreneurs and anyone… as we remember the feelings of our own moments of seeming vanquish and victory alike, we grow our practice of Empathy for ourselves and others. From that, we are stronger, more resilient and understanding.”

For me, as I put myself in the shoes of my former selves through life, and re-feel what trials and triumphs I have experienced (knowing I am still here and thriving), I gain a better sense of my strength and capacity. Track records matter, and feeling what it took to get through in the past can strengthen us for the future.

… and that is where my head and heart are today, on Empathy. More to come in the broadCAST indeed.

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  Together, and through November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The Road to Empathy

For the past two months, Jenny and I have blogged on fear and love. This month, we blog on Empathy. We recommend all the reads and reflection to date, and we continue the deeper dive now… on Empathy.

Jenny says…

Hello all you incredibly wonderful humans!  

This month will be the one I chat about a topic that hits close to home, which I am sure it will for many of you. It is about how bullying behaviors affect the empath child, and even the empath adult. We have no shortage to talk about here. None sadly. The world is full of empaths, and the ones that have been taught that it is normal to speak to someone with hatred or lack of kindness. Whether or not it is pre-meditated, or simply done subconsciously, it is there, and it remains to be a problem within society.   

My son came home last week sad and a little embarrassed because of his reactive behavior. His teacher had sent me an email and I quickly responded. We had spoken on the phone about what she had known about the situation. As we always know there are 3 sides to the story. I needed to hear my boy’s side. He had been in class and got upset (the reason was unknown at this point) and he took some pencils and broke them on the floor. As his mother, I had to ask him questions as to why this was his chosen behavior. As a Child and Youth care student and almost graduate, I delved into exploring this further with him. What was the trigger for his anger? Why was he sad? 

Stay tuned, for this unfolding in the upcoming broadCAST.

Barry says…

This is such a powerful topic and one we need to talk more about indeed. For me, Empathy is a virtue available to all. While some are more inclined to feel, Empathy is something, a strength of character, a virtue… that can be learned and practiced.

Bullying is a crucible to examine Empathy. As someone who was bullied, observed it, and even a few times in my life, consciously or unconsciously did it… I am reminded that bullying is a learned behaviour. Children are not born with it. They learn by the examples set; and this world has plenty of examples of bullying. It needs more examples of the strength we know as Empathy.

Empathy is practiced when we are increasingly able to put ourselves in the shoes of another. It is diminished through apathy and distance. It is increased by caring and closeness. Dehumanization is one of the forces and sources advancing meanness and cruelty. The humanization of the world advances us in Empathy. Simply and for now, consider this video on Empathy.

I am looking forward to this road. We all need to explore it.

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  Together, and into November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Must see video!
Epic news & views!
Our featured books!
Recent blog posts!
5 to Thrive
In I Choose, I shared ... "I am reminded. Fewer projects. More love for the ones I keep. Succe[Read On...]
I Choose
Yesterday I posted on Facebook... "Why Mr. Anderson do you persist?" "Because I choose to...[Read On...]
Your Best Friend
In Building It and the 3Fs, I suggested " This is a time of building the launch pad. The few w[Read On...]
Sign Up Today!
Get our Purpose Pack; a starter kit on exploring purpose - FREE.
  • Sign up for our newsletter here!
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.