Barry Lewis Green
and Epic Engage

The Character Leadership Company

TM

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Barry Lewis Green
and Epic Engage

The Character Leadership Company

TM

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Barry Lewis Green
and Epic Engage

The Character Leadership Company

TM

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R4/D2… 6 Pillars for Living

In Step Back and Forward, I wrote… ” For me, it is time to take something of a spiritual step back, on the eve of 70 days of taking a physical step back under self isolation. For me, it is time to step back, to step forward. It is time.”

In and amongst that time, I have been walking and reflecting, a lot… some 45,000 steps in the past three days alone. I have written on Wonder, and shared my thoughts on the release of Shinedown’s Atlas Falls. You should have a listen to that song… I looove it.

Yesterday, in finishing off 16,000+ steps, amidst my music and prayers and more, I had a thought come on some things key for my work and life going forward… some pillars, if you will. It came almost in a flash and with a bit of an acronym of course, lol. This brain seems subject to same. 🙂

Enter R4/D2.

Real. Raw. Right. Results. Dominion. Daring.

Real.

Integrity. Authentic. Genuine. For me, and for a long time, but ever more so going forward… no pretenses, posing or posturing. A mentor once told me that the difference in POSE and POISE is the “I”. We must be ourselves, real. Candor enacted.

This does not imply abandoning Tact

… but Tact is offering Truthfulness with Kindness. Enter Candor. Real, it is. Candor builds Trustworthiness as people start to get that there are no back doors. Neither does this imply gushing all to all. It implies being direct and real. Pillar One to my life and work.

Raw.

I believe in Professional, but I do not believe that that must imply some “smarmy” sense of polish. Raw is not about unprofessional for professional is about content; expertise. As Kim Mitchell once sung, “I know there’s a lot of feathers but not much chicken”. I have no interest in the “smooth” and “rehearsed”… or the name dropping and photo opps Raw is the way I like my carrots, and it is the way I like my work and life. Professional is about Excellence of content and intent. Raw allows (and I believe encourages) same in so much as it is not worried so much on “making a mistake” as it is on delivering the real goods. Pillar Two.

Right.

Consider Righteousness.

It is not the same as self righteousness. The former is about doing what is right (over what you feel like doing). The latter is about telling everyone else how to live. For me, the right thing is vital. Character matters, always.

In good, bad and ugly times, it matters. It is Strength. It is not about being Perfect as a noun, for that is myth. It is about Perfect as a verb which is all about getting better. Doing the right thing advances that. Trying matters. “Is this the right thing?” will be my question, moving forward. Pillar Three.

Results.

Purposefulness matters.

Purposefulness is less about drive and hustle as it is about intention and flow. I have long believed that Purposefulness is Joyfulness. It brings meaning. For me, arbitrary results are not the thing. Intent is more important than outcome … as outcome is, in many ways, out of our hands.

What is important is that we have ends in mind. Going through the motions is not of interest to me. Life is too precious. This does not imply being busy for busy sake, but this morning I posted on Facebook that “a life filled is not necessarily the same as a life fulfilled”.

For me, Results is about intent and focus and moving towards. The things I choose to do, going forward, will be grounded in same and such. “Does this move me, my work and life forward… does it give me a Hell Yeah?” is my question to self. Pillar Four.

Dominion.

Consider Dominion.

Dominion is the virtue of Ownership, and all that we truly own is our life. We take Responsibility for it. It is not about arrogance or dominance of others. It is about owning your life.

On this my 75th day of self isolation, I am owning my Responsibility to myself and others. Amidst this First Wave, and understanding the essential mechanics of pandemic waves, I will continue to physical distance, wash hands, cover face and more. I see it not as a constraint on my freedom, as my spirit is always free… and doing service to myself and others is a way to express that freedom of spirit.

Dominion means I own my life, and no one else will ever so be responsible for it. It means that I come into this world with it, and will leave with it… and only it. This life of mine is the only precious gem I will ever truly possess and I will claim Dominion of it. Pillar Five.

Daring.

To dare is not about taunting. It is about proving to oneself, one’s possibilities. Daring is not frivolous nor foolhardy for me. It is about knowing what I want to do, and moving forward doing it.

Do I want to parachute out of a plane? Nope. Do I want to bungee jump? Nah. Do I want to ride horseback on the steppes of Mongolia one day? Indeed, I do. Do I want to adventure into certain tributaries of life and work that I have never been. Oh yes.

I have found huge benefit and joy in doing so to date, and intend to make this Pillar Six, asking myself “Does this task or opportunity that I soulfully love require to to dare myself?”

If that answer is yes, I will have added smile.

A Return to R4D2.

I feel very real and raw about this decision. And right. I feel it focuses my efforts and intent and working and living in the direction and results I soulfully seek. It allows me to lay claim to the one thing I own; me. And it causes me to dare… to always be me.

My name is Barry Lewis Green. I own all three names. Barry means “spear carrier” or “spear” or “archer” depending on the source. Lewis (my grandfather’s name) means “famous in war”. The only war for which I seek to be famous is the war to claim my life and stand my middle ground.

I am a Baha’i. I am an educator by wiring, education and experience. I am an entrepreneur thusly as well. I am a world citizen, human… a Terran. I believe and hold fast in and to the global goals. I believe in the vital importance of character and unity in advancing peace, passion and prosperity as a planet. I believe in Humanity. Our Humanity is our highest standard. Our inhumanity is our lowest.

I teach, and speak, and dance, sing, cartoon, write, blog, vlog and create my way through and towards it all. I believe my life and work matters. I believe yours does too. I believe my life’s work is about being real and raw as I move towards results and do the right thing while moving there. I believe that my life is mine alone, and to be responsible in owning it. And I believe in the power of Daring to explore our greatest capacities.

I believe.

And now, I enact.

R4D2.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Step Back and Forward

In Candor Can Do, I wrote, “In these days, there is much to distract us. I know there is for me. And for me, Candor with myself and the resulting focus it will forge… will help me walk through those distractions with an assured step.”

I suggest that read.

Then I suggest this written today on the F Bomb.

Y’see… this past week, we launched broadCAST Live and Justice Lead. I invite you to check them out. We also posted the broadCAST for May 2020. All great stuff, that has me thinking. For me, it is time to take something of a spiritual step back, on the eve of 70 days of taking a physical step back under self isolation. For me, it is time to step back, to step forward. It is time.

How do you need to practice your own best Resilience? See you on the other side.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Character and Strength

My post this week is short, sweet and simple… I think. 🙂

First, please read last week’s post on Character Intelligence. Then, consider this most recent post on LinkedIn. Finally, consider these notes on wisdom for critical thinking from Carl Sagan.

Character is not some bobber adrift on the ocean. It is a formidable and strong ship cutting through and riding the waves. It is not prone to folly and fickleness. It is discerning and resolute.

I intend to deeper dive myself this week.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The Wall and the Eye

Transparency alert. I am a Baha’i. That is my core. I am working on it. And in these days, I can do and be nothing less. There are no easy answers; only great questions and ponderings.

In BE, at Home, last week, I shared that “I am seeing this (personal isolation and lock down) as an opportunity to go inward”. I would suggest that this past week has seen a duality, inward and outward. Since that time of my last post here, I have posted on LinkedIn, thoughts on:

I have been going online (Facebook) with “socials” with friends who just show up. That, in part, satiates the massive extrovert in me. Prayerful moments and down time satiate the massive introvert in me.

Yes, I am a man of both. Bottom line is I am going inward and outward. I have always been an “and” person… the cake and the eating it. 🙂

That being said, this day, and amidst teaching online, grading, writing and doing nothing, something is missing. A wall has been hit. I can feel it. Palpably so. Maybe it simply needs a strategic drive with my music, insular and independent. Quite possibly. But, it also is speaking to me of something else. My restless spirit, my Soul, is whispering in a scream, and I need to listen. Now. Today.

Soul Sis Stuff

My “soul sis” posted this the other day, and I found it both challenging and freeing somehow.

It speaks to me of going within in order to strengthen without.

It speaks to me that the ultimate battle is within.

The eye of the tornado. Amanda sings of it.

Then, my soul sis posted this.

She has a way of doing that. 🙂

“As ye have faith, so shall your powers and blessings be.”

This is the balance.

Faith grounds itself in the eye of the tornado. Faith does not require preconditions. It is why it is Faith.

It is not blind. It sees beyond. Beyond this matrix.

It sees, with an inner eye.

The Inner Eye

I am pondering these words, this day…

Man has two powers, and his development two aspects. One power is connected with the material world and by it he is capable of material advancement. The other power is spiritual and through its development his inner, potential nature is awakened. These powers are like two wings. Both must be developed, for flight is impossible with one wing. — Abdu’l-Bahá

and…

Man has also spiritual powers: imagination, which conceives things; thought, which reflects upon realities; comprehension, which comprehends realities, memory, which retains whatever man imagines, thinks, and comprehends. The intermediary between the five outward powers and the inward powers, is the sense which they possess in common, that is to say, the sense which acts between the outer and inner powers, conveys to the inward powers whatever the outer powers discern. It is termed the common faculty, because it communicates between the outward and inward powers, and thus is common to the outward and inward powers. For instance, sight is one of the outer powers; it sees and perceives this flower, and conveys this perception to the inner power — the common faculty — which transmits this perception to the power of imagination, which in its turn conceives and forms this image and transmits it to the power of thought; the power of thought reflects, and having grasped the reality, conveys it to the power of comprehension; the comprehension, when it has comprehended it, delivers the image of the object perceived to the memory, and the memory keeps it in its repository. The outward powers are five: the power of sight, of hearing, of taste, of smell, and of feeling. The inner powers are also five: the common faculty, and the powers of imagination, thought, comprehension, and memory. — Abdu’l-Bahá

and

…it is my hope that thine inner eye may be opened wide, so that unto thee the very core of the divine mysteries may be disclosed. — Abdu’l-Bahá

THE ROAD AHEAD

It is my hope too. I may take that drive.

Nay, I will.

My spirit is calling.

That is one immediate road. But amidst hitting this wall, I am understanding the need to see through it… and in so doing, smash it. I cannot as yet; see through it, that is. We live in a world with much uncertainty. We always have. These days, it is compounded by a truly global nature. My Faith tells me we are going to be OK. Humanity will be OK. There may be work to do. Indeed, there will be. But maybe just maybe, the first and decisive battle is within. To be of joy and service to the world… to live these words of readiness (above) amidst the days in which we live.

Today, I am hitting a wall. Today, I explore the power to dream… of a sound mind… and heart. This wall will be beaten down.

Real. Raw. Reflective. Relentless.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry Lewis Green

aka The Unity Guy

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Climbing the Wall

Last week, I offered up on a new saga beginning. I wrote to the ideas of “silos to synergy” and “everything requires everything”.

This week, I find myself this morning on Day 4 of The Baha’i Fast. It is at this juncture that I often find what I call “the early wall”. The Fast is not about starvation. Indeed there are exceptions to fasting due to age, travel, heavy work, illness, pregnancy and so on. But, the Fast is more about the spirit. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá said fasting “is the cause of awakening man. The heart becomes tender and the spirituality of man increases. This is produced by the fact that man’s thoughts will be confined to the commemoration of God, and through this awakening and stimulation surely ideal advancements follow”.

The Early Wall

That all being said, at this “early wall’, I find myself challenged. So far, The Fast has seen and been less so; challenging, that is. But today, the body is reminded of the challenge.

I arose before Dawn to have my protein rich first meal and water that will last me through daylight, to break the fast at Sunset. (It is not lost on me that, to those unfamiliar with fasting, we need to remember that Ramadan and Lent were intended as fasts and the word breakfast means to break the fast of overnight, but I digress.) I did arise this morning, with my body feeling “let’s not this day”. And I found my spirit reminding me of that why that ‘Abdu’l-Bahá spoke of… awakening, tender heart, spirituality, commemoration, and advancement.

So, I will climb the wall, nay hurdle it. I will remember back to the new saga and “everything requires everything”. I will remind myself that my life is mine and that I am continually moving forward. Today, I will finish work on updates on the website and the work, moving from those silos to synergy. Today, I will focus my energies on building a new saga.

Yesterday, I got great news around health. Blood tests came back and the results were good and great. My “pre-diabetic” status is reversed. I am no longer such. My markers are all great. And, I continue on my health road to being in the best shape of my life by the Summer. Indeed, this week, I address some other health matters.

Also yesterday, I got new phones and a car (to be delivered Friday) yesterday. Through it all, I am building the new saga. There are challenges going on inside my head and heart, but I am working through them. Indeed, the only way through them is through them.

My Point

Consider these words of Bahá’u’lláh

There was once a lover who had sighed for long years in separation from his beloved, and wasted in the fire of remoteness. From the rule of love, his heart was empty of patience, and his body weary of his spirit; he reckoned life without her as a mockery, and time consumed him away. How many a day he found no rest in longing for her; how many a night the pain of her kept him from sleep; his body was worn to a sigh, his heart’s wound had turned him to a cry of sorrow. He had given a thousand lives for one taste of the cup of her presence, but it availed him not. The doctors knew no cure for him, and companions avoided his company; yea, physicians have no medicine for one sick of love, unless the favor of the beloved one deliver him. At last, the tree of his longing yielded the fruit of despair, and the fire of his hope fell to ashes. Then one night he could live no more, and he went out of his house and made for the marketplace. On a sudden, a watchman followed 14 after him. He broke into a run, with the watchman following; then other watchmen came together, and barred every passage to the weary one. And the wretched one cried from his heart, and ran here and there, and moaned to himself: “Surely this watchman is Izrá’íl, my angel of death, following so fast upon me; or he is a tyrant of men, seeking to harm me.” His feet carried him on, the one bleeding with the arrow of love, and his heart lamented. Then he came to a garden wall, and with untold pain he scaled it, for it proved very high; and forgetting his life, he threw himself down to the garden. And there he beheld his beloved with a lamp in her hand, searching for a ring she had lost. When the heart-surrendered lover looked on his ravishing love, he drew a great breath and raised up his hands in prayer, crying: “O God! Give Thou glory to the watchman, and riches and long life. For the watchman was Gabriel, guiding this poor one; or he was Isráfíl, bringing life to this wretched one!”

This story speaks to me. The watchmen are not our enemies. Our challenges are not our foes. They are moving us, to our best life and love, if we but listen, and trust. I need to keep listening, and to climb that wall.

Peace, passion and prosperity…

Barry

broadCAST Live

Developing Character Leadership

The Character of Leadership

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Love Comes Around

Quite the January!!! Now, onwards. February is that “month of love” and we are back to it, this month. We first shared on love back in September. We then explored Fear in October, and Empathy in November… a year ending in December, and change in January. Now, we are back to Love, for a bit. Let’s dig in…

Jenny says…

Hello my beautiful people!!! I want to pop into your world to speak on something that I so passionately believe in. That I so passionately have yearned and ached for. 

Love… What can I say about love? This week (and month) we are talking a little more about how love makes us feel, how love makes us explore certain parts of us that we don’t normally tend to nurture or appreciate the way we do when experiencing said love. My heart is so all consumed with love, that this piece seems to speak louder and clearer than it has in the past.

That being said, I have loved. I have love beyond the shadow of a doubt. My son being the biggest love I have ever known. But in the more recent years I have felt love like I never knew possible. I have experienced love that I have ached and yearned for. And as you all know, I have not always been in a place to receive it, but I have always been in a place to naturally give it. It is what I am meant to do. It is the biggest piece of me as a whole. I love, and I love hard. But I have come to realize that without being in a healthy place ourselves, we cannot fully receive what we are meant to receive. This is where my life story and all that I have journeyed through comes into play so intensely. I have ventured to a place of acceptance of love and self-love like I have never received in my life up until now. Here begins my story into love and the all-powerful acceptance and realization that it is.  Over this month, I invite you to dive in with me.

Barry says…

Love. We have written on it before. But, it is a deep subject. It can be described as an emotion, an action and a virtue.

For now, and first, I suggest you read The Balance. I think it speaks to a deep love and respect for ourselves, at best.

I also suggest a read of The Leaducator for February 2020. It speaks to how we can see the world and the people in it, with a powerful, practical love.

This is a cool month for me. Super Bowl last Sunday (I am a huge football fan), Valentine’s Day, my birthday (a big one this year), Ayyam-i-Ha, and the NFL Combine. I love it! And, I look forward to deconstructing and reconstructing on love this month. Stay tuned. In the meantime, maybe have a read on Legacy, Change, Success and Confidence.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The End of Change?

Of course not; but this is the end (for now) for our dive in on it. In Snow Small Change, you can find links to all previous posts. We encourage that read and dig in. There is some good stuff in there. Now, to close it out, for now.

Jenny says…

Please read my past posts on change in Change Makes ChangeThe broadCAST, and Make Change…. and Snow Small Change. To finish my thoughts for January…

The universe has a plan for each and every one of us. You are here for a reason. You may be lost as to where you need to go next. You might stumble upon it in the most random of ways. But know that every little positive choice you make in your life, it is the fuel for the leap into that new beginning. Your life is about to unfold this beautiful masterpiece.

It may not always be a sight of beauty, but let me tell you this, when that last brush stroke goes across the page, the last choice is made and your final new beginning has peaked it’s way around the corner, you will look at that masterpiece you call your life, and you will know that all the positive choices and all the twists and turns have led you here.

You, my love, are the masterpiece. You are the master of your new beginnings! 

Barry says…

End of change? Not on your life; except for the fact that while life is constant change… in many ways, we get to discern on and choose to change. I think there is a major difference in changing who we are versus changing ways we do and accept things. It is crucial for us to be true to our core. It is equally crucial for us to adapt and grow and add to our capacities.

This past weekend I found myself hearing, like many, of the passing of some famous and not-so-famous people. Prior to the news of Kobe Bryant, his daughter and 7 other wonderful souls, Clay Christensen. passed this weekend.

The news of all of this inspired me to write on what I call reconstruction. I definitely recommend the read. Reconstruction is not about changing who we are… it is about changing through adapting and growing on capacities, and aligning our words and actions with our deepest beliefs.

Growth and change is the role of education.

I am changing… not who I am, but how I increasingly better be and do it. There is a difference. Please read Reconstruction.

Be who you are. Do the change. It matters. You matter. Life matters.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Empathy and Detachment

Last week, we looked at The First Empathy. The week before that, we started in on an exploration of Empathy. This week, we continue.

Jenny says…

I encourage you to read our first two blogs. Now, carrying on from my last post…

My thoughts on all of this has been kind of snowballing into this thought of core. The knowing that there are behaviors attached to feelings. My heart really goes out to the kids that are feeling that it is normal or okay to treat others this way. As I said the behavior is connected to the feeling. To me that says that these children or adults for that matter are either hurting or sad. They are feeling an underlying emotion that is creating this anger or volatile expression that they so freely dish out to whoever crosses their path. It isn’t connected by anger towards this person necessarily, but they still express it anyhow.  

For empaths, we take things a little more personally. Much like my son did. He got angry that this little boy was being mean to him and calling him nasty names, so my son aggressively acted out. Rather than taking a moment to feel and control the reaction that we so quickly have, we act quick. As adults we do much the same. We are reactive human beings. Far and few in between are proactive. We need to be more conscious of what we say and do. We need to be more conscious of what we are teaching our children and our youth. We need to make the world a better place somehow. I feel that it starts with what we teach our youth. We see it more and more as we get older. The generational gap, and differences. We see the lack of respect, and structure. I am not saying that this applies to all of us, but we have the ability to make a difference, to make a change. The youth being the foundation to this change in our society. We are getting much better at speaking aloud about this epidemic. How can we start making this difference? How can we live what we teach?   Stay tuned…

Barry says…

Feeding off of Jenny’s thoughts, I first offer this on Emotional Intelligence (EI). Empathy is a virtue; and one that can be practiced. It is my experience and observation that EI can help those who more need practice with Empathy, and those who more need practice with Detachment as their Empathy is advanced. Detachment is a counter balancing virtue to Empathy. Both can be practiced, not unlike two wings of one great bird in flight.

Empathy is a powerful virtue of leadership. So is Detachment. Empathy is a powerful virtue of strength. So is Detachment. The power is found in the balance. I just posted on Endure and Respond. A week or so ago, I posted on Empathy, Endurance and Excellence. And recently, I have posted on Human Tech. All of this is to say that we can work on our human tech; our character. We do it through practice. In this case, practicing the balance of Empathy and Detachment seems like a great place to start. That is, in part, the beauty of EI. It engages:

  • Self Awareness
  • Self-Management
  • Social Awareness
  • Relationship Management

Enter Empathy and Detachment, in healthy balance. More to follow…

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  Together, and through November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

The First Empathy

Last week, we started in on an exploration of Empathy. This week, we continue. First, we suggest the read of last week’s post. Second, this post. Third, look forward to the next broadCAST.

Jenny says…

Let me tell you a little bit about my boy. He is so kind and loving. He has always been the most soft-hearted empathetic little boy. He loves hard, much like his Mama. He feels others pain and shows caring gestures in moments of people’s sadness or hurt. I am so unbelievably proud of the little man that he is growing into. So, when I see him behave in this way, I question what it is that caused his reaction. My heart hurts for people in these moments of confusion and uncertainty.  

So, I decided to sit with him and practice what I recently studied in my program. I tried to get his perspective of what had happened. In exploring today’s events with him, I discovered that there is this one little boy in his class that has been bullying him on a regular basis. This has been causing my son to have somatic issues. He has been anxious in the mornings before school, at times calls home after throwing up and uses pretty much any excuse in the book to leave. This is heart-breaking as a parent. Heart-breaking in general to be truthful. It isn’t only sad that my child is hurting, it is also sad that we really don’t know what the child doing the hurting is going through. In the program that I am in, it makes us look at things in a different light. I realize that my son deserves to be comfortable in class. He should never feel unsafe or scared. Sadly, that is not the world we live in. We live in a world where people aren’t always given the skills needed to be kind to one another without judgement or anger. So, as his mother I need to prepare him for the unknown. Prepare him to love the ones that don’t have it programmed in them to be empathetic and loving. You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.  

… and that is where my thoughts are processing. I will have more to come in the next broadCAST.

Barry says…

“You can’t control the way that others treat you, but you can control the way that you react to said treatment.” No truer words, Jenny; and kind of where my head and heart are now. In my first post on Empathy, I suggested that “Empathy is practiced when we are increasingly able to put ourselves in the shoes of another. It is diminished through apathy and distance. It is increased by caring and closeness. Dehumanization is one of the forces and sources advancing meanness and cruelty. The humanization of the world advances us in Empathy.”

I think the place to start is within. Empathy can constructively impact our Endurance. As I have noted before, “As leaders, educators, entrepreneurs and anyone… as we remember the feelings of our own moments of seeming vanquish and victory alike, we grow our practice of Empathy for ourselves and others. From that, we are stronger, more resilient and understanding.”

For me, as I put myself in the shoes of my former selves through life, and re-feel what trials and triumphs I have experienced (knowing I am still here and thriving), I gain a better sense of my strength and capacity. Track records matter, and feeling what it took to get through in the past can strengthen us for the future.

… and that is where my head and heart are today, on Empathy. More to come in the broadCAST indeed.

TOGETHER

So, we continue. Together, we continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends do that.  Together, and through November and beyond, we will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.  Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

PLUS…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

Fear: The End?

Over this month, we have looked at fear.  In our last post, we dug in on Fear and the Track Record.  Today, we bring it all together with an add.

Jenny says…

To catch you and me up to date, here is what I have shared this month.

This month I will speak on fear and how we allow it to consume and control us.  Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous likely to cause pain, or a threat. It is to be afraid of someone or something.

Many of us allow fear to control decisions and choices that we make, which in turn may alter the path that our life is meant to take. It can be stressful, create anxiety and overwhelm us and our lives.
When I think of fear, a video from Steve Harvey’s talk show comes to mind. He was in between airing his show during commercial break and out of nowhere got the urge to speak to his audience about “jumping”. He speaks about how is it that we really know if we can be successful at something if we don’t take the “jump” and just go for it. It was awe inspiring and motivational. I suggest finding it and watching it. It resonated with me and to be truthful it helped me “jump”.

Fear can be for a multitude of things. We can be afraid of anything from spiders, to a change in careers, or maybe we are afraid of death. These things are inevitable. We will experience so many different things in the duration of our lives. Why would we allow the fear of encountering these things freeze us from moving fluidly to experience all that the world has to offer?

It is so much easier to say than to do. I get that, believe me. I spent my life questioning what it was that I was meant to do. I dabbled in different jobs. Many of them over the years. I exceled in some, but not at others. But no matter what job I was doing, something wasn’t there. Even though I felt this in the depth of my heart, mind and gut, I didn’t know what it was that I was meant to do. I was fearful of going back to school. I was fearful of failure. Or maybe a little fearful of getting an education that I either would not use, or I wouldn’t truly love. Because of this I took many years to explore, to figure out what it was that I was destined to study. From the age of 19 up until the age of 31, I kept coming back to helping people in some capacity whether large or small. I worked in retirement homes, I worked with children, I worked with adults that had Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. I grew to know that I was meant to help. Whatever that looked like? I also knew that I love hard. I genuinely care. I feel pain of others and truly empathize. So, there had to be something that fit this criteria. There had to be something that nurtured my strengths and passions. And there was. But first I had to dig deep and get to know who I am as a person. Then it took a whole other level of realness within me. Which at moments brought on a fear of its own. But I pushed through it, fear and all. I worked on my abilities and skills and the rest fell into place.

When we think of fear, we think of the negative aspect of it. What we don’t always realize is there are actual benefits to feeling fear. Fear guides our fight and flight responses. It also heightens our senses while keeping us alert and better prepared. When our brain kicks in to fight or flight our body is pumped full of Cortisol (the stress hormone). When we are finding ourselves flushed with stress or fear our adrenaline kicks in. Adrenaline increases our heart rate, but also gives us a burst of energy and focuses our attention on the danger at hand. During this fearful or stressful state, your body is also supplying norepinephrine, which is much like arousal. It helps us become more aware, alert, awake and focused. We become more responsive. And it pumps blood flow to the areas that are the most essential during this time, so that we can flee the stressful situation.

I think of all the things that our body and brain is capable of in these moments. I think hell, why are we not learning how to use fear and stress in a more positive way? Why can’t we build on our fear and maybe somehow it will help us overcome and conquer something that we had no idea we were even capable of? Or maybe allowing ourselves to feel the fear in those very real and terrifying moments, we in turn discover life-altering realizations about who we really are, and why we react in those particular moments.

So, a little more about what I discovered in the moments of facing “my fear”, and even years after. I spend my younger adult years just living life, moving from apartment to apartment, house to house. I never stayed in any place too long. I never stayed in any relationship too long. I had a gypsy soul, and still do in a much healthier way. I was lost I guess you could say. I was so unsure of anything in life, anything other than knowing I wanted to be a mom. That was the only thing I could think, the only thing that I was certain of. Even though I was young, I was a lover, and a very nurturing person. I knew I needed to be needed. It might sound crazy, but that was something I felt at a very young age. So, the years went by quickly, still no growth on my part, or at least I didn’t feel that there was. Yet, there was! Every single moment of my life was growth somehow. Even the moments where I was failing. There was growth in my bad decisions. There was growth in every relationship I ever had. I couldn’t see exactly how this would all play out. But it did. And now years later I see how and why all of those moments, those fearful situations, and those terrifying yet brave choices that I made put me in the right place in my life. It gave me the tools I needed to know when the moment came for me to “jump”. And it’s funny because I watched Steve Harvey’s video and thought “how will I know when and where I should actually jump?”. Boy did it smack me right in the face. It was like walking straight into a brick wall. And it was scary as all hell. It shook me to the core, yet, made EVERYTHING so damn clear. Everything in my life had led me to this moment. Now this may look so different for each and every one of you. It may not only shake you to your very core, but it might knock you right off your feet. I guess that is where harnessing our stress hormone and our fear comes to play.

Today, OCTOBER 30, I offer…

Maybe instead of running when we feel this undeniable pull in a certain direction, we should instead explore this path. Maybe this is the path that we were meant to travel. Maybe it is something you never in a million years thought that you would do, or even be interested in doing. Now let me be clear, I am talking healthy changes, healthy exploration and experiences. I am not saying to jump into a random relationship or take a job because you have a fear of the unknown. I am saying listen to your body cues. Feel that surge of energy when the cortisol flushes through you. Use that as your driving force to challenge or overcome the obstacle that you are facing.

Barry says…

… and I intend to; explore. Thanks for that reminder Jenny.  These past few years, especially, since my TIA/stroke in 2015, I have felt something of a gnawing in my Soul.  Indeed, over the last year or so in particular, I have taken on a strategic and almost purposefully meandering journey of reflection and re-engineering … almost.  No, not almost, indeed and in deed.

This week, that kind of culminated in a post called What Matters Most?  In that, I shared on making and leaving your M.A.R.K. and stating your C.A.S.E..  I highly recommend the read if I do say so myself; and I do.

With that in mind, my deepest desire is not for riches nor fame, but service and impact.  I seek only to work with those I can truly help.  They are identified in that blog, where I focus it down to:

  • I love, honor and have a blast helping global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world. I speak, teach, coach, facilitate, consult, write, cartoon, sing, dance, vlog, blog, pod and create on it.

How does this relate to fear?  I am about to go outside my ever increased (over the years) box.  I have had moments in my life where I was called upon, first resisted, and then made my jump… and those moments served in (a) teaching me my best relationship with fear, (b) showing me new understandings of capacity, and (c) offering new vistas and roads.  This moment is no different.

In doing so, it might mean some kind of change of scenery; not necessarily geographically.  It might mean new circles.  It will mean new circles.  That does not mean leaving my teaching, nor my work with Epic Engage™.  That is the core and heart to this growth.  I am an educator and entrepreneur who simply wants to love, honor and have a blast helping those global goal minded, and noble hearted educators, entrepreneurs and leaders move the world.  It does mean digging deeper on a global focus.

Since childhood, I have seen myself as “Terran”, and my neighbourhood was Newfoundland and Labrador.  I seek to primarily travel and work and walk with those that get that.  That is not an elitist view because such a vision is open and accessible to anyone.  It does mean that it is time for me to put on those global glasses and find those whose full heart is in it.  I have no desire to retreat into local life.  I love where I live, and will always call it my “hood”.  But my vision is world embracing, and embracing is more than “accepting”.  It requires a Wholeheartedness that says there is no “Plan B”.  It requires such a Wholeheartedness that many might not share.  That is OK.  A part of me wants to ride with everyone.  A bigger part of me knows that we best ride with those who want to ride together.

My life and friendships and work will not change much.  But, there will be a fundamental change in seeing my life as “global”. As noted, I care not for riches, nor fame.  Still, this “boy inside the man” has always sought service and impact that has no freakin’ borders and serves those who have the capacity and deep desire for the “betterment of the world”.

Some will not be on board, and that scares a part of me.  But, that is good. Fear is a friend that causes us to question what it is we fear.  Some fears tell us that we need to protect ourselves and that is a good thing.  Some fears say “I dare you“.  That is a good thing too.

For the next two months, I am choosing to run silent and deep.  I will continue posting daily on my platforms of Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter, thrice daily; morning, noon and night.  Three times daily with posts that I feel might add to the character of life.

That being said, I will be laying low otherwise..  I will be focusing on my teaching, Epic Engage™, my university courses and my health.  I will not be out and about.  There may be an event or two.  There will be a few coffees and evenings with friends.  But, I am drawing back, taking a deeper dive into those “global” eyes.  I will be better understanding that I am a world citizen; an educator and entrepreneur without borders, if you will.

Will drawing back and doing so be scary?  Yup.  Yip. Uh-huh.  It will mean questioning and changing my life in ways I have gotten used to for now seemingly too long.  I love my life, and am grateful for it; but it is time to change it.

So, and again, let me ask you.

  • What matters most to you? What cause or work or progress or service matters most to you? Deeply. Maybe consider those global goals to jog some thought.
  • How do you imagine yourself now, or in the future, helping advance on it… moving the needle on it?
  • Who do you imagine yourself best serving in doing so?
  • What talents, capacities and services do you bring to move that needle?
  • How will you be known with consistency, that is aligned with you, simple and enjoyable?

Dare yourself.  Your fear might be your friend.  Fear is never the end… it is the beginning; of discovery.  Spend some time with you.  Reflect.  Re-engineer.  Face the fear and feed the fire.  I will.

TOGETHER

So, yes… fear has been our journey for October.  Together, Jenny and I ever continue to be committed to living a joyful life and work.  Friends and colleagues do that.  As noted, having a better understanding of fear helps too.  We will continue to explore our own perspectives on love and character and how they can build a life of work, play and service that is right for each and all of us.

Join us, stay tuned and engage us.  Our lives matter.

Peace, passion, prosperity, and a whole bunch of Love and Character

Benny and Jarry

Peace, passion and prosperity…

 

Benny and Jarry

Jenny Dearing speaks to love in action.  She brings talent, experience and learning around love, trauma and care.  With a passion for Child and Youth Care and Addictions, and a background in same, she connects, and memorably so.  Her work spans children and youth care with addictions, personal and senior care, respite work, and business leadership; delivering on all.  Jenny is a Certified Virtues Project™ Facilitator, with professional training in child and youth care with addictions support and home support services.  With certification in ASIST Suicide First Aid, Autism Awareness and Understanding, Trauma Information Care and Child and Youth Care Practice, Jenny brings it, with zeal. On top of all that, she loves singing, and is an accomplished multi-media artist … and brings both to her work.  Artistry is a path to love and healing.  Jenny knows it.  She believes in it.  She drives it.

Barry Lewis Green moves the needle on character leadership and unity building with joyful ferocity and thoughtful zeal.  Barry helps leaders forge strong, united cultures at school, work, business and community.  Joe Calloway says, “I had the distinct pleasure of being in an audience in Montreal with Barry Lewis Green on the stage. Quite simply, Barry absolutely captivated us with his talent, his message, and his heart.  The feeling of unity that Barry created in the room that day was extraordinary.”  With 39 years in education and leadership training and development … and work in the private, public and community sectors across Canada… and as a speaker, educator, master facilitator, coach, writer, singer, dancer, and cartoonist, Barry stokes the fire on together strong.

PLUS CHECK OUT…

CHECK OUT OUR COACHING

and our MULTIVERSE of online forums and offerings

 

 

 

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